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How Much Is TOO Much Therapy?

Question:

I met a 55-year old woman 6 months ago and we hit it off right away. We went on a couple of dates but about 3 weeks into our relationship she suggested we visit her therapist for a session just to ‘make sure everything was going well’ between us. Before our session she volunteered to me that she has been going to psychotherapists for over 27 years and currently has 3 that she sees.

At the start of the session her therapist asked me if I had any questions or concerns about the woman. I said that it felt odd to be in her office after such a short time and I had a concern that, after 26 years of therapy, the woman would probably be remaining in therapy into the foreseeable future. At that, the woman burst out crying and ran out of the office. Her counselor was noticeably upset and asked me to go sit in the lobby. It’s now been 5 months. I like her and want to remain friends. She says FRIENDS is fine with her too but I’ve recently found out she is telling all of her friends and family that we’re dating exclusively.

Do I run or work with her on this?

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Answer:

After reading your EMail I had the thought that you already know the answer to your question as to whether you should run from this relationship?

It seems to me that it is odd that this woman would invite you to a therapy session just to see how the relationship is going. I do not mean to sound judgmental of the therapist but it also seems odd for her to ask you how things are going rather than asking her patient. Presumably, her patient wanted you to come to the session. It also seems odd that this woman is seeing three therapists at the same time and that the therapists are permitting this to go on. Of course, they may not be aware of the others. It also seems odd that this woman would flee the session just for asking questions. After all, you were invited to do so.

Regardless of all of that, it seems to me that you must be a saint to want to continue to be friends with this person. Know what I mean? I believe you  know what you want to do.

Good Luck

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