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I Am Really Worried About My Mental Health (19yr Old Female)

Question:

I’m 19 and ever since I can remember I have been treading on eggshells with my mum. I didn’t have a horrible childhood, my dad’s around etc. I have a little sister, 3yrs younger. She has a BAD attitude. I wouldn’t dream of talking to the parents the way she does. But I am always polite, have respect, do what I’m told when I’m told yet I always get put down by only my mum, told I’m stupid, always doing everything wrong…(my dad’s at work all day). It has ALWAYS been this way for me and I’ve maintained a mask for 19 years yet I’m beginning to break. I’m still on probation at my first full time job and burst into tears for no reason. I get random suicidal thoughts, I self-harm, I have always been tidy, yet am cleaning everything from top to bottom every day like a psycho. I think I’m developing OCD? Everything has to be perfect and checked a million times. GP visit you think? I have been in a relationship for a year and I don’t want it to effect us but my boyfriend is constantly seeing me in tears.

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Answer:

Yes, it is possible that you are experiencing depression. Depression would explain your random suicidal thoughts and bursting into tears. It would also explain your OCD symptoms. The fact that you are self harming is not good for you because you need to learn healthier ways to cope with your problems.

You could see your GP and I assume that means your Medical Doctor. You can ask your doctor for a referral to a psychologist or licensed clinical social worker for psychotherapy. Depending on how depressed you are the doctor could put you on anti depressant medication to help you feel better. However, in my opinion psychotherapy is most important even if you start with medicine.

By the way, with your mum saying such horrible things to you I have an idea that your childhood could have been fairly horrible. It is verbally abusive of her to call you "stupid."

Good Luck

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Comments
  • Lucy Higgs

    I too have experienced this problem with my Mum for many years.....Since about 4 yrs old and the breakdown of the relationship with my father, who unfortunatly I have no contact with. She constantly tells me I'm wrong and calls me "thick and stupid". Unfortunatly, I was a mess by the time I had grown up with no support. Dr just put me on antidepresents, which have not work for me as she is still the same!!!!!!!!

    I would suggest moving out when you can and starting your own life. I have had good relationships with my mum whilst not living under that same roof. She still does it occasionally now but it's easier to walk away and not react to it when your not living there as it seems less frequent, and you only have to visit when you want to.

    Parents with undiagnosed mental health problems often make their children's lives much harder. I have grown up being barraged and bullied, called thick and stupid and it does really effect you. My mum physically corners me as well, just ranting at me until I just sink to the floor. Extreme mental torment, is hard to prove especially when the parent is in a respected job and because of all the problem the child has grown up to have low self esteem and sometime other behavioral problems. When it comes from your Mum, who you just want to be proud you it's really hard to take.

    Stay strong, I know it's hard. It is so hard for people to understand like domestic violence that goes on behind closed doors, there should be more understanding of this issues.

    Just remember, you are not alone.......

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