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I Get Paralysed And Cant Do Anything

Question:

I came upon this site by accident searching for ‘no friends psychological disorder?’ I’m on anti depressants. I still can’t seem to do anything. I have no motivation. I have no friends, never had. When I do get involved people quickly learn that they don’t like me and avoid me. All I want to do is sit on the steps and chain smoke, and feel bad, and make myself sick, and go back to bed, and neglect life. I feel its hopeless. I never had a social network or circle of friends. I don’t have a girlfriend and think there is something very wrong with me that I don’t. I don’t have money to spend on psychotherapy. I was abused physically and mentally growing up, and I took lots of LSD when I was 13. I know its a lot of variables, and there is no way of telling exactly what the right treatment would be, but maybe you can give me a golden nugget. I have tried everything from these anti-depressants to meditating, and I always seem to spiral back into self-destruction and isolation. My whole family is messed up so I don’t really have anyone to talk to. I am virtually alone, abandoned and uncared for. I was in the Military and now I’m about to get my bachelors in Engineering at 29 so I’m not just a bottom feeder, I do contribute and am more intelligent than the average gummy bear, but I just can’t seem to get balanced and healthy. Do I just need to get off the pity pot or is there something really wrong with me? Thanks for reading, and understanding.

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  • Dr. Schwartz responds to questions about psychotherapy and mental health problems, from the perspective of his training in clinical psychology.
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Answer:

Yes, there is "something wrong with you" but  not in the way you may believe. You were abused as a child and are suffering from the after-effects. Those after-effects are known as Post Traumatic Stress. This is one of the reasons for your depression and social anxiety.

Yes, you are on anti depressant medications but they were not enough to help you overcome your problems. You do need psychotherapy but of the Cognitive-Behavioral type. The reason for this is that besides learning to think differently about yourself you also need to learn the social skills necessary to reduce your social fears. Reducing social fears and learning social skill involve medication, psychotherapy and weekly activity and practical experiences through which you particpate in social situations.

You are an engineering student and that means that it is likey there is a counseling center at your school. You can go there and state what your social needs are. This should include medication.

Remember, your therapy must include a kind of behavior modification through which you are actively involve in learning and practicing socialization.

You can start this process yourself by going out to socialize with people and learning from your mistakes. For example, when at the grocery store, make eye contact with the cashier, chat about the weather and wish him or her a good day as you leave.

I am sure that people do like you contrary to what you beleive. In your anxiety, depression and self hate I am certain that you misinterpret people what people say and do when you are around.

Get off the front stoop of your home, put away the cigarettes and start to say hello to people, smile at them and make eye contact. I strongly recommend that you use the psychotherapy and medication route to help you accomplish your goals.

By the way, right here, on our web site, there is a community where you can start discussing your situation and get support from other people.

Best of Luck

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