‘m a 20 year-old junior in college who can’t decide if I am gay or not. I am a male. Sometimes I find women attractive, and then I find certain men attractive. Is this weird? I’ve had only girlfriends. I’m scared that if I am gay, I will lose most, if not all, of my friends. I can’t concentrate on anything else. My grades are falling, and I never feel like going out anymore. What do I do? How do I find out?
- ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
- ‘Anne’ bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
- Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
- Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
- No correspondence takes place.
- No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by ‘Anne’ to people submitting questions.
- ‘Anne’, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. ‘Anne’ and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
- Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.
It is possible to be bisexual. Maybe you should try experiencing with men for a while. The Internet has some great sources of information on homosexuality. Learning about the topic more might make your decision a little easier, or at least it will help to understand it. It might clear up some of your confusion. It is not uncommon for men to be attracted to both sexes at the same time. You are not at all weird, just a little confused. When you do find out your sexuality, make sure you choose the right time to tell your friends. They may not understand it, and that is why they make fun of it. If they truly are your friends, they will understand or at least try. If they do not, then I suggest you make new friends and move on. Try not to over-think your situation though. Your grades are important too. I know you are very confused, and of course this is all you can think about until you find the answer, but try not to let it overcome your life. When you do find out, I’m sure that everything will fall into place. Best of luck, – Anne
More "Ask Anne" View Columnists