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I Like Men And Women


‘m a 20 year-old junior in college who can’t decide if I am gay or not. I am a male. Sometimes I find women attractive, and then I find certain men attractive. Is this weird? I’ve had only girlfriends. I’m scared that if I am gay, I will lose most, if not all, of my friends. I can’t concentrate on anything else. My grades are falling, and I never feel like going out anymore. What do I do? How do I find out?

This Disclaimer applies to the Answer Below
  • ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
  • ‘Anne’ bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
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It is possible to be bisexual. Maybe you should try experiencing with men for a while. The Internet has some great sources of information on homosexuality. Learning about the topic more might make your decision a little easier, or at least it will help to understand it. It might clear up some of your confusion. It is not uncommon for men to be attracted to both sexes at the same time. You are not at all weird, just a little confused. When you do find out your sexuality, make sure you choose the right time to tell your friends. They may not understand it, and that is why they make fun of it. If they truly are your friends, they will understand or at least try. If they do not, then I suggest you make new friends and move on. Try not to over-think your situation though. Your grades are important too. I know you are very confused, and of course this is all you can think about until you find the answer, but try not to let it overcome your life. When you do find out, I’m sure that everything will fall into place. Best of luck, – Anne

More "Ask Anne" View Columnists

  • carlos

    Dear Anne,

    I´m 31 and i m still confused about my sexuality.I like men and women,but i confess it makes me crazy sometimes.I m trying to handle this situation.I suffer a lot because I even do not know who I am.Currently I m living with a man but I feel bad.I m affraid of him let me alone or end up without somebody by myside.I had a girlfriend and she found out I was dating a guy at the same time.She still insists on me yet.I like to be with her as well.

    What should i do?You could say you are good enough to make your own decisions,but it is something i can not handle easily.

    Best regards,

    Friend from Sao paulo Brazil

  • onewaysofly

    I like men and women, I have good feelings for mens. But i have the same feelings for women. So i don't know if i'm bisex or not. Sometimes I find women attractive, and then I find certain men attractive. Is this weird? I've had boyfriends and girlfriends. I'm scared that if I am gay, My family don't know about this. Is i'm Bi.?


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