Need help breaking free from addiction?
Call 24/7 for treatment options. Who Answers?



If someone blows up, cusses at you, pushes you and grabs you and threatens to break your car window because you gave a male person a ride to the store, (he thought it was cheating and I wasn’t), will it most likely happen again? The person acting this way was beaten as a child and has trust issues. He said he would never hit me but had an assault charge against him with his exwife. He said it was a false report, but, he slapped her. Help! Confused, Is he abusive?

This Disclaimer applies to the Answer Below
  • Dr. Schwartz responds to questions about psychotherapy and mental health problems, from the perspective of his training in clinical psychology.
  • Dr. Schwartz intends his responses to provide general educational information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
  • Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
  • No correspondence takes place.
  • No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by Dr. Schwartz to people submitting questions.
  • Dr. Schwartz, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. Dr. Schwartz and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
  • Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.

You know the answer to your question and you are asking me for confirmation. This means that you are not really confused. Instead, you probably do not like the answer to your question. Therefore, even though my response may not be to your liking either, I will answer your question.

If everything you report in your E. Mail question is correct then, the answer is YES. What am I answering YES to:

1. Yes, if he accuses you of cheating and threatens to harm your property he will probably do that again.

2. Yes, if he has a history of arrest for assualting his ex wife as well as slapping her (that is also assault) then, Yes, he is abusive and will be abusive again.

The fact that he was abused as a child partially explains the reasons for his abusive behavior towards women.

If you want to be another potential victim of his behavior then just stay with him. He is extremely likely to escalate. You are already demonstrating the traits of a woman who allows her partner to be abusive by denying the facts that she knows to be true. Abusive people do escalate and the level of violence can incease and even become lethal towards the victim of their abuse.

If I were you I would ignore his denials and run away from him immmediately. If you do not, you are in for an extremely painful experience with him and You Know It.

Good Luck

More "Ask Dr. Schwartz" View Columnists


Call the Helpline Toll-FREE

To Get Treatment Options Now.

1-888-993-3112 Who Answers? 100% Confidential

Get Help For You or a Loved One Here...

Click Here for More Info.


Call The Toll-FREE Helpline 24/7 To Get Treatment Options Now.

100% Confidential
Get Treatment Options From Your Phone... Tap to Expand