Hello. I really need advice as I don’t know what to think anymore and don’t know what iIwant anymore.
I have been with my partner for 2 years and we have a little boy together. Within a month of our son being born a year ago, my partner cheated on me. He promised at the start of our relationship that he wouldnt do this to me. But he did.
I found it hard but forgive him. He likes a good drink and could go drinking all day. When this does happen, I try not to, but I get severly paranoid. When I phone him when he’s out and there is no answer, my head spirals out of control. He knows how I get when he doesn’t answer his phone. This happens when his cell When is on silent or he’s left it in the car or cannot hear it, at least that is what he tells me. I know there will be a day when he’s going to walk away because of my paranoia and me pushing him away. I hate being like this. I do trust him but my mind goes into overdrive and I become a different person when he’s out for the night at the pub with his mates.
I love him so much. Am I mad??? Please please help. Thank you.
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There’s an old psychology joke that goes something like this: “Just because you’re paranoid, doesn’t mean they ain’t out to get ya.” In your situation, you are not even paranoid, he has cheated on you and after the birth of your child.
So many women who are abused blame themselves for the problem. I am not saying that you are abused but it’s hard to imagine why you put the blame on yourself, label yourself paranoid and report a fear that he will leave you. To top it all, you state that “you love him so much.”
It is curious that you love him so much considering the following behaviors:
1. He cheated on you,
2. He drinks heavily,
3. He stays out all night with his mates and drinks,
4. Fails to answer his cell phone,
5. Makes excuses for not being available to you.
The fact of the matter is that he is the father of a young child. A father belongs at home with his partner and baby unless he is working. He should not be out all night, he should not be drinking, he should not be turning his cell phone off, etc.
He should be home with you and the baby. He should be holding and helping feed and love his child, and he should be home with you, being a responsible man, partner and father.
In my opinion, you should not be worrying about leaving him. He should be worrying about you taking the baby and leaving him. And, in my opinion, you should be making plans to leave: look for a place to stay, etc.
Some men just never grow up.
You report that you love him. Why?
You and your baby deserve better than this.