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Hi Doctor,

I’m a humanist by nature. I used to feel very peaceful and sort of detached from people, but I loved and cared about everyone very much. Since I was recently betrayed, I feel angry and not peaceful.  I can’t let these feelings go. I also feel worthless and sad sometimes. I feel like any new friends I make will not care about me and will take advantage of and betray me.  That is how I am usually treated. Does it sound like there is something wrong with me?

This Disclaimer applies to the Answer Below
  • Dr. Schwartz responds to questions about psychotherapy and mental health problems, from the perspective of his training in clinical psychology.
  • Dr. Schwartz intends his responses to provide general educational information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
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  • Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.

I am assuming that the way you posed your question, “Is there something wrong with me,” reveals some deep seated sense of dread you feel about your problems. Rather than thinking that something is wrong with you, it would be better for you to know that you are coping with some very human problems that plague many people. Therefore, on the basis that you are troubled by some problems in your life, it would be a good thing to seek help from a mental health practitioner such as, a clinical psychologist or licensed clinical social worker. Following are some of the reasons for I believe psychotherapy would be good for you.

First, you report that detached from people. It is not clear why you may feel this way but, many individuals who share this detachment with you traumatic childhoods that made them feel very threatened by interpersonal closeness. They would rather be alone than risk being hurt again by someone else.

Second, you say that you were betrayed by someone. While I have no way of knowing what happened, I have to assume that someone you trusted caused you emotional pain that made you angry and want to return to being detached.

Finally, you state that people try to take advantage of you, betray you and do not care about you. You also admit to sometimes feeling worthless and sad.

In psychotherapy, you can learn new ways of interacting with others. New social skills that you gain in therapy will enable you to form healthier and more trustworthy and secure relationships. Therapy can also help you to feel less sad, alone and help you raise your sense of self esteem.

Based on all of this, I am strongly urging you to enter psychotherapy and embark on the journey towards becoming warmly attached to people who will care about you.

Best of Luck

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