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Independence

Question:

I have lived with my boyfriend for 12 years and now we don’t get along anymore. I just want out of this relation. I don’t need anything from him also because he doesn’t have much either. My problem is that I have no money, no job and no place to go. So could you, please, give me an idea of where can I go from here? Please try. I am becoming almost hopeless… Thank you for your consideration.

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  • ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
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Answer:

In order for you to get free you will have to develop independence skills such as learning how to get and hold a job. Without your acquiring such skills and getting a job, you will not become free, but rather will have to find another living situation, another boyfriend to be dependent upon. Your local community may have resources that can help you learn how to find a job, locate an apartment, etc. I would start by contacting the local shelter for battered women in your area. You may not have been battered, but you have needs that are similar to women who have been battered. If they can’t help you, then call around to different social services agencies and see if anyone can help you to hook up with a local program that helps people find work. These types of activities will be your best path towards independence. Good luck.

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