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Is Something Wrong With Me? (sexual Question)

Question:

hey,I am a girl from Norway ( 25 years) and I have a problem! I don’t like oral and anal sex, but as you understand all the boys like it!!! So every time I had a boyfriend,we had big problems, because they wanted these things but not I.So they didn’t want to be with me any more and found new girlfriends….I am so sad…is something wrong with me because I don’t like these forms of sex??? I just want to find a boyfriend who really loves me and accepts me like I am, but I can’t …Cannot boys be satisfied with just normal sex ???….help!!!…thank you

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Answer:

There isn’t anything wrong with you at all. In fact, there is a lot right with you. You understand what you want and what you like, and you are defending those likes in the face of pretty substantial social pressure to conform to what other people want. This is hard to do, and sometimes you end up paying a price for it (your present sadness is such a price). But better that you feel sad becuase you stood up for yourself and your values then that you feel sad becuase you compromised your values and started doing things that you don’t want or desire just to please someone else. You are displaying healthy assertive behavior; what many therapists try to teach the people who come to see them who are sad becuase they did compromise themselves.

You are quite right to hold out for a boy who will love you for the person you are as well as the sexual relationship you can share. These boys who have rejected you have made it quite clear that their interest in you was as a sexual object, no more and no less. They could not see you as a person, and so it is the right thing for you to do to reject them (or stand up to their demands and let them reject you – it doesn’t make a difference really). Hold out for someone who is kind; who likes you as a person as well as a lover; someone you really enjoy being with. Such boys are out there, believe me, although they are not so aggressive as your other lovers seem to have been. You might even need to go searching for them, as some of them are quite shy. When you find a good one (and I think you will), you will be glad you stuck to your principles, and much happier than if you had compromised yourself.

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Comments
  • john

    Anne, Do you know how great it is to hear a young lady speak out about the truth on how strong that they are? You have strong Morals! Keep them intact, Don't let anyone make you do anything you do not want to do.Oral and anal sex is a perverse act that has been becoming socially accepted in many cultures today. How sad it is for anyone to turn a beautiful loving act of love making into such a inmoral sin. Keep your morals high, when you find (and you will) a young man that wants to treat you like the sweet woman that you are,then and only then will you become happy in the relationship.Keep your standards high and your wish will come true!I am a 55 year old male raising 2 grand children one 14 and one 16. We live in California they are not sexually actve yet and have the same exact morals as you do!They both are beautiful blonde blue eyed girls and trust me they get hit up all the time at school. the boys here are not afraid to right ouy ask them for these sex acts because they are virgins and not afraid to profess it.when they tell how sick some of theses boys are it saddens my heart that sex has gone so far away from the true meaning of love and more into a homo sexual act of sadistic pleasure for the man, not careing how the woman is being used injustly.Maybe those boys need to find another boy to do the acts with. Seems to me that they dont know what a womans body was made for. keep up you quest for a real man that wil Love you for who you are and accept you just the way you are.True Love comes from the heart not from an orface. Take care and be patient Mr Right is out there waiting for a smart moral woman just like you!

  • Anonymous-1

    That's is totally ok that u are not into those sort of sexual acts. Yes, guys (such as I) may like it, but its ur body so u much respect it and do what u feel is right.

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