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Is There Help Out There? Lonely Mother Of Three

Question:

I am a mother of three young girls, and I know that I am making their lives miserable. I am constantly yelling at them, I don’t want to go anywhere let alone do anything around home. I just recently quit my job because of the guilt that I feel not being at home. I cant work up the energy to do anything. When I was at work, I hated it. I was forced to do things because I could not talk my self out of doing it. I feel as though I can’t be the mom, wife, daughter, sister and aunt that I am supposed to be. I feel as though I have been nothing but a failure in every aspect of my life. There is nothing to look forward to in life for me. Is there help out there!

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Answer:

Yes, there is most certainly help available to you. First, you need to understand that you are experiencing depression. Of course, I do not mean to say that your pressures and stressor are not real. They are very real. However, these stresses and your individual constitution are combining to cause you to feel depression.

The symptoms you describe are classic depression:
1. Anger and yelling
2. Feeling hopeless
3. Believing you are a failure
4. Feeling that you are disappointing others
5. Feeling exhausted

You need to make an appointment with a clinical psychologist or licensed clinical social worker. I would urge you to seek professional who are expert in using Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) and/or Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). It is possible that they will have you evaluated for anti depressant medication to be used with the psychotherapy.

In addition to these, I urge you to learn about meditation as a way to find inner peace and inner calm.

Exercise is extremely important and I think you will find it very relieving.

Nutrition is very important. It is said that "we are what we eat," and this is true. A balanced diet, including fish, green vegetables and whole grain foods, among others, is very important.

We also have an Online Support community here at Mental Help Net and I suggest you give it a try by just clicking on this page.

Act quickly to get help. You deserve to feel better and you have many things in your life that are important.

Best of Luck

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Comments
  • Emma

    As a possibly similarly depressed single parent I'd like to make a couple of observations on the self help advice.

    Medidtation is a no-no with a toddler, I did it right until the birth and miss it horribly. I'm always too tired in the evening to do any useful meditation after kid's bed time. As for excersise, yoga/fitness dvd, try doing it with 10+kg person leaping all over you.

    Some days just putting something on the table is better than nothing at all, because I'm in such a mess there aren't any clean dishes left. And there's a screaming toddler hanging from me every time I go near the sink...

    Reality is people were not designed to live in isolation, even less raise children in isolation. Its bound to cause problems.

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