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Is This Abuse And What Should I Do?

Question:

I am 23 years old and have an unusual problem. Ever since I was a child my younger brother, he’s a year younger than me, has problems with exposing himself. On a regular basis he would stick his penis out of his pants and often masturbate behind me while I was not looking. I would yell and throw things at him but he would run away and return just when I turned my back. Many times he would do this in public. This situation became increasingly worse in that he would stick out his penis out try to rub up against me when I wasn’t expecting it. For example, if I were standing next to my mother in the kitchen, he would do this.  A few years ago he attempted to drug me while no one was home. I had to lock myself in a room and wait for someone to come home.

This behavior has stopped several years ago. I had moved away to college but unfortunately had to move back. Yesterday while only my brother and I were home he seemed a bit odd and wanted to be in my company. He said he wanted to make food and I tried to help him when I noticed that his penis was sticking out of his pants. I feel like this entire situation is starting over again. I don’t feel comfortable doing anything in my house and refuse to be alone with him even for a second.

What should I do? Am I in danger? I have seen a therapist and she suggested that I stay away from my house. If I move out how do I explain these radical changes in my life (I planned on staying home for a year while I apply to medical school)? How can anyone understand, especially my boyfriend. This is a horrible situation I’m in. It doesn’t sound like abuse but what is it?

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Answer:

Indeed, you are in a horrible situation. It is amazing to me that your brother exposed himself in the kitchen when you mother was there. Evidently, she either did not see or did not want to see. I suspect that there is something wrong in the family system that has allowed your brother’s odd behavior to go on for so long.

In my opinion, your brother, now 22 years old, is mentally ill. I do not say that lightly. His actions are bizarre and his attempting to drug you completely dangerous. Evidently, he wanted to rape you.

The answer to your question is, “yes, this is abuse,” and its a type of sexual abuse called Incest.  This is something that you must bring to a halt immediately. I support the idea of you moving out into your own apartment or moving in with your boyfriend.

What is your explanation as to why you are moving out? The explanation is the truth. It is time that everyone in the family was made aware of your brother’s bizarre behavior and that he know that he is being confronted with it. Clearly, he cannot control himself and the only way you can protect yourself is for you to move out.

Are you in danger? In my opinion, yes, you are in danger. What is going to stop him from attempting raping you when no one is home except you and him?

My advice is to put a stop to his Now: Let your family know about this and get you own apartment. As for your brother, he needs psychiatric treatment.

Best of Luck

Best of Luck.

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Comments
  • aakanksha

    i am surprised your parents never reacted to what your younger brother does. ypu should either discuss it with your parents or ypur brother himself and make sure you are not alone if you talk to him. i can understand the kind of awkwardness you would be feeling around him. i suggest if things don't workout, the last resort will be to move out. remember, its your life, you cannot let anyone ruin it. you are big enough to make your own choices.

    take care!

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