I currently live with my fiance’s parents. I have been feeling myself get so jealous of their closeness and the fact that I live so far away from my family. I currently pay rent and I feel myself growing resentful to his parents (who are very well to do). My fiance’s 29 year-old brother and 28 year-old sister live with his parents as well. I resent that I am not making as much money; I still have to fork over money since my fiance and I became engagement. The money issue didn’t bother me until after the engagement. I find myself lashing out at my fiance. Am I trying to push him away from the closeness he has with his family? I want to know how I can control my rage so that I don’t push him away. This isn’t the first relationship that I’ve had where I have been jealous over family-bonding. I put my fiance first and I want him to do the same with me. I look forward to your input.
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It’s tough to see a family so close when you do not have that with your family. Try talking to your fiance. Tell him that this is bothering you, and add that you wished you had this with your family, but cannot because of the distance. Let him know there is a reason for your anger. If that doesn’t work, then maybe there are other alternatives that you could try such as moving out. Maybe the two of you should think about spending more time with each other since you will be getting married. This doesn’t mean that he can’t see his family when ever he wants, it just gives everyone a little more space. Sincerely, – Anne