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Lack Of Interest

Question:

My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half. For the first few months of our relationship, he couldn’t seem to get enough of me, he was quite affectionate (though not publicly) and our sex life was great. After 3 months or so, he lost interest in me, and has ever since. Our relationship is an emotional one, and we love each other very much, but he doesn’t seem to understand the importance of sex in a relationship. To him, I think he finds it annoying and distracting. This is making me feel unimportant, and now he’s refusing to kiss me or hug me, turns away from me in bed. I’ve done everything I can think of, from quiet seduction to blatant invitations; and sometimes he’ll respond, but drops it half a minute later. He is friends with many females, and gives them more attention than me, though not sexual. Am I wasting my time by staying with him? I’ve tried to talk to him about it, and he say’s it’s his fault, but nothing ever gets done about it…

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Answer:

It doesn’t sound like your boyfriend’s lack of interest is due to anything you are doing wrong. But then again, it doesn’t sound like you have a good idea of what is in his mind on this matter either. I recommend you having a direct and frank conversation with him on this matter at your earliest convenience tell him that there is a real problem in the relationship that needs to be addressed. Tell him in honest terms just how important sex is to you and how distressing it is to you that he is not interested in sex with you. Talk about how you feel and how you have been affected by his withdrawal rather than attacking him for doing anything wrong. Then, ask him to respond by talking about how he understands the role of sex in the relationship. Your goal is to share how each of you feels about sex in general and about your specific desires (or lack thereof) to have sex with one another so that you both have a better idea of where the problem is coming from and how you might go about solving it. Good luck.

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