Love Triangle


I’m a fourteen year old female and I’m having trouble talking to my mom about my 16 year old boyfriend. She totally disapproves. But it’s not like he’s someone she’s never met before. She grew up with his family and I did too. She thinks that he’s going to pressure me into doing something that I don’t want to but I already talked about that and my boyfriend said that a girl shouldn’t be pressured into doing something that she doesn’t feel right about. She just won’t talk with me about it. It’s either her way or no way. Can you give me some advice on what to do?

This Disclaimer applies to the Answer Below
  • ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
  • ‘Anne’ bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
  • Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
  • Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
  • No correspondence takes place.
  • No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by ‘Anne’ to people submitting questions.
  • ‘Anne’, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. ‘Anne’ and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
  • Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.

Fourteen is a difficult age – You are adult enough to have desires and child enough to need the limits and guidance that a good parent can provide. It would be a shame if your mother were unable to provide you with such guidance. My advice is to continue to try to talk with your mother about your relationship. It will be important for you to learn more specifically what it is about your being in a relationship that concerns her so. See if you can pacify her concerns by coming up with a responsible plan that you and she both agree will keep you safe. If all attempts to talk with mom fail, I hope you will consider following her wishes and toning it down with your boyfriend. At your age boyfriends will come and go. You will only have one mother in your life. If you can’t talk with her, and you won’t cool it down with your boyfriend, then at least make sure you educate yourself about sexuality, pregnancy and birth control, and how to prevent sexually transmitted disease. You can get yourself into a lot of trouble when you don’t take the right precautions. Good luck to you, – Anne

More "Ask Anne" View Columnists