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my boyfriend is 32 I’m 24. He is a EMT and works a lot. The sex is good. He is good. We have it maybe once a week. It is good. He is always working. He tries his best to please me. The other day I masturbated for the first time. I liked it and did 3 times since. I feel guilty because I think maybe I’m not enjoying my boyfriend. What should I do?

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There is no need to worry here. All that has happened is that you have discovered masturbation. For the most part, masturbation is okay and normal and very safe (much safer than just about any other form of sexual activity because you don’t have to worry about getting pregnant or getting a disease). Many women find that masturbation complements sexual activity with a boyfriend (or girlfriend!). It is not either/or as you seem to think (where your enjoyment of masturbating would subtract from your enjoyment of being with your boyfriend. Rather, you can enjoy masturbating AND enjoy being with your boyfriend. For example, many women find that they are unable to have an orgasm during regular sexual intercourse. For some of these women, masturbation (either alone or with a partner) is a way to make sex and relationships better.

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