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Michelle Writes:

Question:

I have been amicably separated for 3 years; we aren’t legally separated, but have been living apart for almost 3 years. We have gotten along well in this time and have a 10 year old daughter who seems to be doing fine. He has now moved in with a woman. I found out about the move in by calling his number and finding it disconnected. He never bothered to tell me about it or to call and give me a new address, etc. I find myself furious about everything now – about him, his being able to have the time to find someone (I’ve never even dated a single person). I feel so angry at him & I don’t know exactly why I’m so mad after all of this time? How do I protect my daughter’s happiness, get on with my life, and deal with him all at the same time?

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  • ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
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Answer:

Could it be that you mistook your friendship for something more than it actually was? You have lives of your own now. It sounds as though he has decided to move on with his. You can talk to him and make him aware of your feelings. Let him know that, as a friend, he was inconsiderate of your feelings. Remind him that the two of you share a major responsibility together. You’ll have to work together if you want to preserve your daughter’s happiness. There are more ways than one to move on with your life. Finding a significant other is not always the right answer. Find the person you were before the two of you met. What activities were you involved in? Did you have any hobbies before your relationship that you discontinued? Did you develop any new interests during your relationship that you have yet to pursue? This time is yours. You don’t have to be concerned about anyone else except yourself! Good luck with everything. – Anne

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