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Miss Lonely

Question:

I’m a junior in high school and I’ve been suffering from Depression for about a year now. This has made things really difficult with my friends as I have isolated myself from some and clung to others, and none of my friends have really understood what was wrong with me. Now that I feel more like being a part of the group, nobody will accept me. Everyone says either that I ignored them completely or I clung to them and mimicked them constantly, and they have all given up on me after feeling hurt. Yet, I don’t feel that my actions were completely my fault considering I was suffering deeply from depression. Now all my friends hate me, and when I try to talk to them, they refuse to believe that I was doing any of this for anything other than attention. Everything has turned into a huge popularity contest, and I’m at the bottom of the heap. What do I do? I can hardly function from being so lonely, and I can’t help blaming and hating myself for all of this. Please help !

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Answer:

First of all – please don’t blame and hate yourself for being in your situation. Blaming and hating never helped anyone improve their situation. Instead, take your energy and try to see your situation through your friends’ eyes. From their perspective, you acted in ways that were hurtful and damaging and they are now holding you accountable for those actions. Whether or not you had a good excuse for doing so (and you did have a good excuse) isn’t the point; They only know they were hurt by your actions. Rather than getting angry at them back for rejecting you, express to them how truly sorry you are for having treating them poorly. Educate them on your depression if they’ll listen. Focus on the present and how you can treat them nicely now that you are feeling a little better. Although repairs may not be possible with all, they should be possible with some. Good luck!

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