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My Little Sister


my little sister is only 15. she has serious issues with anger and depression. though it may sound unreal, she has attacked me for just asking her to turn down her music because the baby is sleeping or because i have a headache. she has also once attacked my ex boyfriend/father of my baby for the same reason. i think it is because i got pregnant at only 16, but she won’t say why. my best friend has become very close to her and has tried finding out why she hates me so much. she won’t say anything, just that she doesn’t hate me, she’s just really upset… that’s all. my friend tells me that she has serious mental problems and she believe she needs to go to some kind of mental institute to get help. she says my little sister tells her when she has serious suicidal thaughts and she has cut herself before. i don’t understand why she hurts me so much, and i can’t lay one finger on her. maybe it’s because i love her too much and can’t hurt her not even to defend myself, even when she trys to choke me. while she’s sttacking me, i talk to her as gently as possible, just a little louder than a whisper, looking her straight in her eyes and ask again and again, ‘what’s wrong?’ and ‘why are you doing this?’. she just yells at me and tells me that i should know why and that i’ll just have to figure it out because she isn’t going to tell me. after the fight is over and we’re talking it over with my parents, she doesn’t seem to remmeber half the things she did like if she had zoned out or something. her eyes are always full of hate and anger. she curses ALL the time even when my parents tell her not to, she does it with more will to them. it’s like she’s full of anger and keeps all her emotions inside of her and takes all her anger out on hurting me. the wierd thing is that she says that the reason she has so many friends is "[she’s] only that way toward [her] family, never to any of [her] friends." my parents don’t think she needs help. they don’t see it. they just think it’s a phase she’s going through and she just needs to grow up. they say "she’s just a baby. she doesn’t know what she’s saying or what she’s doing" what can i do to help her? how can i get my parents to listen to me and understand that she really does need help and that her behavior is not normal?

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At age 15 your sister is not a baby and should be able to control her emotions. Controlling her emotions means that there is no excuse for physically attacking you. If she is choking you in one of her tirades then something is very seriously wrong. It is dangerous for her to be physically attacking you, your boy friend or anyone else. In point of fact, when she attacks you physically you should call 911 and have both the police and an ambulance come over. They will evaluate her and take her to the nearest hospital emergency room for a more complete assessment. Then, if the emergency room deems it necessary, they will move her to a psychiatric hospital for treatment. At the very least they can hold her in the psychiatric hospital for a 72 hour evaluation and treatment. On the other hand, when the police come to your house you could tell them that you will press charges and they will take her to jail. That will be your choice. Having her to the hospital emergency room is your best option because she does sound very disturbed.

What could be wrong with your sister? There are many possibilities. She could be suffering from and explosive rage disorder in which she is not able to control her behavior when she gets angry. Another possibility is that she is abusing drugs which cause her to lose control herself when there is any pressure. A third possibility is that she is suffering from an extreme agitated depression causing her to act out in ways that are outrageous. Finally, she could be suffering from a Bipolar disorder or some type of psychotic disorder.

The main point you need to understand and that you must communicate to your parents is that her behavior is not harmless. Instead, your sister’s behavior is out of control, dangerous and can get much worse. If you can convince your parents of the seriousness of the situation perhaps they will bring her to a psychiatrist for evaluation and treatment. My sense is that your sister will probably refuse to go for help voluntarily and will need to be forced which is where 911 emergency services come in. Remember, there is a baby in the house and I would not want to place bets that she would never harm the baby. When people lose control of themselves in this way, promises mean nothing.

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