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My Son's Problem

Question:

I have a problem with my son. He is 26 years old and doesn’t like to go out. He found 2 different jobs that fired him after few days. He is hopeless and disappointed. He says what is the purpose of life? He is tired of everything. He says he cannot read, study hard and do hard work, but he needs money. He always watches TV and sits in front of computer. At the same time, he doesn’t come to Dr. or GP for consultant. He says he has not any problem and they have problem that they don’t offer him a job. Please direct me how can I help him? Thanks,Maria

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Answer:

Dear Maria,

The pain and worry you experience with your son is very plain to see. I wish I could advise you about what to do but I am at a loss because he is refusing help.

Perhaps, if you urged him to see a Psychologist or Licensed Clinical Social Worker he would listen. What I mean is that you may need to be more energetic in urging him (I am not implying that you are not energetic) by telling him: "What do you mean you do not have problems? Of course you have problems, you sit in front of the television or the computer, and have lost two jobs." You can add that getting help will may make it easier for him to get and keep a job.

Also, it might help if you let him know how worried you are about him and that you wish he would seek help as a way of reducing your worry and anxiety. Sometimes a son or daughter will listen if they know they are helping someone else they love. You might even offer going with him for the first time.

Other than these things, I do not know what else I can offer in the way of advice. We cannot force someone to get help unless we know they are threatening suicide or homicide. Under those circumstances it is OK to call 911 for help. Other than that, no person can be forced to go and get help.

You are his mother and this is very painful. Again, try letting him know how worried you are.

Best of Luck

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