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No Desire For Sex 1

Question:

I am a normal person but when it comes to sex I do not want to have it with anyone. I am married to a normal red blooded American man who wants sex. I think it is my medication that I take (Prozac) that is cutting my need for sex. What am I to do? This man is also mentally abuses to me and the children. I want to leave but have not so far. I don’t know why I stay here, it is a hard life, but I feel trapped by my own self. Most of the time I am depressed and want to be alone. I have 3 small children, 14, 11, 9 and 1 grand 6 months that I will take with me no matter where I go. What am I to do? How can I get help to get out of here?

This Disclaimer applies to the Answer Below
  • ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
  • ‘Anne’ bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
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  • Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.
Answer:

I’m told that anti-depressant medications can often curb your sex drive. This being said, I wouldn’t want to be intimate with a man who mentally abuses my children and me either. Perhaps in part you aren’t wanting to be sexual with this man because doesn’t treat you well. If he treats you poorly enough that might cause a depression all by itself. It is hard to leave a man when you have children. Heck! it can be hard to leave a man when you don’t have children. Leaving a man opens up all sorts of questions like “how will I provide for myself and my children”, “where will I live?”. This is scary stuff. All I can say is that if you are really being abused it is worth looking into resources that can help you to have a plan of escape if things get really bad. Please consider finding the local domestic violence shelter in your town. Sometimes they are run by the YWCA. You should be able to look up their number in the phonebook. You may find use for their temporary housing services some night. In the meantime, they usually have education opportunities for women in your situation to learn about how to become more independent. Good Luck!

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Comments
  • Anonymous-1

    I have no desire for sex with my husband..altho I have had affairs and have had desire. My husband just doesn't make me want him in that way. It is very hard on him to live without sex. His idea of sex is mostly oral, not intercourse. He thinks I should want to make him happy when I get nothing out of it at all. Any response??

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