Need help breaking free from addiction?
Call 24/7 for treatment options. Who Answers?

Office Casanova


I have been married for 13 years. In the past six month I have had a man in my office pursuing me. I hesitated for a while but he kept telling me I was different from the other woman he was seeing in the office. He said she was only sex to him. I mean so much more to him, he didn’t know what love felt like until him and I started getting close. He has told me some day we would be together, but he has a small child and doesn’t want to get divorced from his wife because he want to stay close to his child. We never had sex just a lot of kissing was going on. Now he has started keeping his distance from me in the office but talks and cuts up with the other woman. He has told me he never intended to hurt me but he needs some time to sort all of this out. It hurts me because for the past two months he has been paying me all this attention and making me feel so good about myself that another man besides my husband finds me attractive and wanted me. Also calling me at work and talking to me telling me how much I mean to him, now it has all stopped. He still calls me at work but we just talk in general. My heart is so heavy It hurts to see him with her in the office and I know when he calls her because I sit next to her, and he doesn’t call me or pay me any attention. I know a man like this will keep doing this and I should have been smarter then to get involved. How do I go on from here? Please help me!

This Disclaimer applies to the Answer Below
  • ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
  • ‘Anne’ bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
  • Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
  • Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
  • No correspondence takes place.
  • No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by ‘Anne’ to people submitting questions.
  • ‘Anne’, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. ‘Anne’ and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
  • Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.

I don’t approve of extra marital affairs and don’t condone the one you’ve had with this male friend at work. It is pretty ridiculous for you to think that a man who is cheating on his wife and child with other women in your office is going to be true to you. A man who would act in this way is a bum. It’s a pretty good bet he lied to you when he said he loved only you. My money says that he only loves himself and that he is out to have as many women as he can get, without regard for who he hurts. You even say you know he will continue to act in this way. Go with what you know to be true and stay away from him. Your letter betrays a loneliness and desire for attention at any cost that is alarming. I’m wondering if you are feeling good about yourself, if you are respecting yourself properly. It seems to me that you might be feeling like you aren’t worth too much. Maybe you are even feeling depressed?? If I’m right about this, I wonder if you would consider making an appointment with a therapist to see if he or she could help you out. It is best to see a licensed therapist like a Psychologist, or Social Worker for such purposes. Good Luck!

More "Ask Anne" View Columnists


Call the Helpline Toll-FREE

To Get Treatment Options Now.

1-888-993-3112 Who Answers? 100% Confidential

Get Help For You or a Loved One Here...

Click Here for More Info.


Call The Toll-FREE Helpline 24/7 To Get Treatment Options Now.

100% Confidential
Get Treatment Options From Your Phone... Tap to Expand