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Possessive Ex-Girlfriend


My girlfriend of 2 years and i recently broke up yet maintain a prosperous friendship. Promptly upon breaking up she became physically involved with a ‘friend’ from work. This i have no problem with, however, she is very loathe to even bear the thought of me becoming physical with another woman to the point where she cant deal with me interacting with out mutual female friends. She demands things like ‘It’s her or me’ and i don’t even have romantic let alone sexual feelings for any of these people. It’s like in a way she acts as if we are still dating. How does one confront this situation considering she is a highly emotional and irrational person?

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Okay, so your ex-girlfriend is holding you to a double standard and she’s willing to get hysterical if you step out of line. I agree she shouldn’t be doing this, but I don’t think this is her problem, so much as I think it is yours. She is free to act any way she choses towards you so long as she doesn’t break any laws. In so doing she will need to face the consequences of her behavior. The consequences of her behavior will have to come from you, however. What I’m saying is that it is you who is letting her hold you hostage over your romantic life. You can ‘confront’ this situation assertively by doing what you need to do with regards to new relationships, and continuing to be loving towards your friend, and not taking it on when she does her emotional dance to try and make you feel guilty. If you’ve acted ethically towards her (and I hope you have), then she may be hurt, but she has no legitimate claim over you and what you choose to do. Can you accept that she will be hurt? That will be the price of your freedom. Read up on Assertiveness Training. I think that will help.

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