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Rob Writes:

Question:

I was wondering how to kick the habit of codependency–living with a drunk and not caring for yourself. Why is it so difficult to seek help? Please help!

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  • ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
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Answer:

Codependency is a continuous cycle that cannot be terminated without identifying the source; which, in your case, is alcoholism. The codependent often times enables the alcoholic to continue his/her destructive behavior. Codependents have a constant need for others’ approval in order to feel good about themselves. The only thing in this situation that you really have control over is your own behavior. By addressing your problem with codependency, you can put a stop to your role as the enabler. It is crucial for you to understand that you cannot be responsible for your partner’s behavior. You must remember that you are an individual, and that you have needs.The ability to identify and express your feelings and needs can be a positive source of self-empowerment. Your goal should be to concentrate on your own codependent behavior before taking on your partner’s problem. Good luck to you, – Anne

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