Recently my husband of 4 years dropped a bomb on me. He told me he still had feelings for an old girlfriend he used to date. They had been in recent contact due to a “bad” relationship she had entered and when it turned sour, she looked to my husband for help, which he gave her. Then he tells me that our different religious beliefs are making him question whether or not he wants to be with our son and I any longer. I don’t know whether all of this is due to the feelings for the other woman or whether there is another underlying problem. Please, do you have any advice?
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Good question, and I’m not sure you alone can answer it. What it sounds like is that the two of you need couples counseling, and you need it quick! The counselor will help you and your husband sort out this mish-mash of feelings and see what the real problem is. Maybe it’s the old flame. Maybe it’s a general unhappiness with parts of the marriage. Pinpointing his discontent can help you both save the marriage and survive this crisis, but only if the two of you want to and pull together. All too often in situations like this, couples will let themselves drift apart, and divorce soon follows. Maybe it’s too late, maybe it’s not. Only by talking it out between the two of you will you be able to find out for sure. Hope that helps, – Anne