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SHOULD GRANDPARENTS INSIST ON SEEING A GRANDCHILD

Question:

MY 22 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER HAS HAD HER FIRST CHILD WITH A 19 YEAR OLD MALE THAT IS VERY CONTROLLING. I HAVE TAKEN HER TO MOST OF HER PRENATAL APPT UNTIL WE HAD A FAMILY DISAGREEMENT THAT INVOLVED HER SISTER TELLING HER THAT THIS 19 YEAR OLD MALE WAS SEEING OTHER GIRLS. OF COURSE THE 19 YEAR OLD MALE LIED HIS WAY OUT OF IT AND USED FORCE TO KEEP ME FROM SEEING MY DAUGHTER. AND NOW INORDER FOR ME TO SEE MY NEWBORN GRANDCHILD I AM SUPPOSED TO APOLOGIZE TO THE 19YEAR OLD MALE. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

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Answer:

I will give you my opinion but with the clear understanding that this is my opinion and you or others may disagree and that is OK with me.

In my opinion, these types of family arguments leave no winners and create lots of frustrations. For the sake of the new grandchild and for your daughter, I would apologize and when speaking to this young man make it clear, in a nice way, that family is more important than anything. Let him know that you and he and your daughter want what is best for the baby and that nothing else matters.

Sometimes, we must swallow our pride for bigger and more important reasons than being right. I urge you to put all of this aside and not get involved in the politics of whether or not he is seeing other girls. That is an argument you will never win but you could risk losing all of them in the hopeless effort to try to win.

If this young man is unfaithful, your daughter will never see it until she is ready.

Again, do not get involved in those issues because there is no benefit to anyone.

Good luck

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