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Shy Rural Student


I’m a 16 year old Australian high school student, but unlike most guys my age i have real trouble talking to people unless i know them really well, and it makes me lonely and depressed. I started thinking – maybe i can be cured of this, and after taking some Internet quizzes i got these results:



  • Paranoid: Very High
  • Schizoid: Medium
  • Schizotypal: Very High
  • Antisocial: High
  • Borderline: High
  • Histrionic: High
  • Narcissistic: Low
  • Avoidant: Very High
  • Dependent: High
  • Obsessive-Compulsive: Medium


p> There is no chance of me seeing a psychiatrist where i live (its like 650km), so i was wondering are there things i can do to help myself, because i can’t be like this for my entire life.

This Disclaimer applies to the Answer Below
  • Dr. Dombeck responds to questions about psychotherapy and mental health problems, from the perspective of his training in clinical psychology.
  • Dr. Dombeck intends his responses to provide general educational information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
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  • Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.

It’s hard to know what to make of your test results because we don’t know what tests you have taken, how well those tests were designed, what they actually measure, etc. However, we do know that you are unhappy, and in some distress, and that is good enough.


p> You have two major options as a rural, isolated individual: 1) self-help, and 2) online counseling. Self-help is basically a process where you try to understand the nature of your problems and then do something constructive about them. Usually, you would use books to guide you in this process. For example, you are describing yourself as shy, lonely and depressed. So you could search for books that address these subjects. Your library may have some, or you can purchase some online through Amazon and similar outlets. Look for titles that emphasize terms like “Workbook”, as these will be most likely to have exercises you can work through. Try tying terms like “shyness workbook” into Amazon and you’ll see a page of relevant results come back to you. There are also free, high-quality alternatives to consider too, such as Clay Tucker-Ladd’s Psychological Self Help available through Mental Help Net


p> If you want professional help (and it is often worth paying for), there are many therapists today who will work with you via the internet (usually by way of email) to help you address problems and concerns. Though this is not as good as a face-to-face contact (mostly because contact is in written form and not spontaneous, and because there is no body language for the therapist to pay attention to), it is often a whole lot better than self-help. A list of online therapists is provided at

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