I need some help, I am at my wits end. My husband is a recovering addict of 3 years. We have been married for 9 years. I have 3 teenage daughter from a previous marriage. My problem is that I feel like there is no hope for my marriage or life I am sick of the fighting and getting blamed for everything that goes wrong in our marriage. I live in the country and can’t get to a meeting (alanon or nar-anon) I don’t know what to do with myself. I don’t have any friends to talk with about this or family. Talk about feeling alone! I have bad thoughts running thru my head and I feel as if I might just explode if there is another fight, over stupid things. Help with any advise would be greatly appreciated Thanks in advance.
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You badly need to find community. You need support and you need to take steps to find some of support. I think if it is possible, you should drive to the nearest alanon or nar-anon meeting, even if it is very far away and difficult to get to. You just need the support! A number to call for information on finding meetings of Alanon (within the USA and Canada) is 1-888-425-2666 (M-F; 8 – 6 ET). If this is not possible, please hook up with one of the various internet support communities that are out there. has a good one that can be accessed here. Another board is available at http://mentalhealth.about.com. You can find Alanon resources on the web at http://www.al-anon-alateen.org/ It sounds like you could also benefit from marriage counseling, or individual counseling to help you to cope and to work on preserving your marriage, or helping you to get out of it if that is in your best interest.If a real-world therapist won’t work for you (because of distance), you may find that internet therapy can be of help. I can’t vouch for how well online therapy works, but a number of online therapy clinics have opened recently and can be tried out. A good one to try (backed by prominant doctors) is http://here2listen.com. Please also contact your local domestic violence shelter/women’s center if you are being abused physically or verbally or emotionally. Your life is too precious to allow yourself to be continually harmed by an abusive man.