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The Grass Is Always Greener...

Question:

I am in a relationship with a very good man. We have two daughters together. About nine years ago my true love was taken away from me due to certain situations. Now he is back and he wants me back in his life. We have kept in contact over the last nine years and I still love him. I don’t know if I should leave the guy I am with right now. Please help.

This Disclaimer applies to the Answer Below
  • ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
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Answer:

It is sad that you were not able to hook up with your first ‘true’ love when you were younger. But in his absence you chose to get into a relationship and have a family with someone you describe as a “very good man”. I assume you made this choice of your own free will. Now you are unsatisfied and you wonder if your life would be more fulfilling if you left for a new life. Fantasies of how marvelous your life will become once you are united with your true love are just that – fantasies. You don’t really know what life would be like with him. You might leave your family – harming them in the process – only to find that life with your true love was not so wonderful after all. Unless your life with your family is completely unbearable, my advice to you is to stay put with the father of your children. Put your energy into making your relationship with him a better one. Seek out a marital therapist if you don’t know how to do this yourself. Let go of the seductive dreams of the past. Hoping this will help, – Anne

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