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Walking Home

Question:

The last few times when I have been out having a few drinks with my partner we have gotten drunk. On our walk home I start a row with him or stop talking to him. I dont know why I do this, it doesnt make sense? We have been together for five years and get on so well, we never fight. This has happened the last three times we have been out. Its really upsetting me as i dont want to hurt my partner and am scared. I dont want to drink if this it what it does? Please help….

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Answer:

Actually, you are describing a very common problem. The problem is alcohol because it can and does interfere in relationships. Here are the reasons why:

There are people who seem to have the ability to tolerate large amounts of alcohol without getting angry. For the rest of us, alcohol serves as an irritant to our mood. In other words, we become irritable and angry while under the influence. The Ancient Romans said “In vino veritas,” or “In wine there is  truth.” That is not accurate. Many people say and do things while under the influence that they would never do when sober. For these people all the inhibitions are loosened and that leads to arguments.

There is very strong evidence that incidents of domestic violence increase according to the amount of alcohol consumed by one or more people in a household. There is very new evidence that those who tend to be depressed are more likely to attempt suicide while intoxicated. We all know about the high incidence of traffic accidents and fatalities as a result of drivers being intoxicated.

What concerns me very much about your question is that you very honestly and frankly use the word “drink” to describe you and your boyfriend when you are out together. That is a very descriptive word that means “too much alcohol.”

My advice to you is that the two of you go out and, at least you, refrain from drinking.

However, here is a “tricky or difficult suggestion,” why don’t you have one drink, slowly sip it through the evening and, when you are done, order ginger ale or pop or cola on ice. See if that helps. If you find that you cannot have “just one drink” then you could have a problem and need to give up drinking.

If any of your close relatives have or had a drinking problem then it is a good sign that you need to keep away from alcohol or drink as little as possible.

Best of Luck

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