I started a business two years ago, I make great money at what i do but I can never get ahead. I find myself putting off jobs, lying to my husband about going out to work when I haven’t and I have actually been losing customers because of my unreliability. I should be working right now but I am so tired I just don’t want to because the thought is simply dreadful to me. On top of all this, we must move. My Husband is on my butt every minute that he’s at home. I mean, this feeling of not wanting to do anything has even started to affect me and my children. They have school plays and functions this month and all I can think about is how to get out of having to go. I know that is terrible but I can’t help it. It’s just the way i feel.
Do you have any ideas of what in the world is going on with me? Why do I have this feeling of dread about having to to do anything that involves work?
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Hi Mom and Business Woman,
It seems to me that it is very possible that you are experiencing a combination of depression, anxiety and stress. Of course, only a mental health professional can give you a reliable diagnosis when they meet with you. That professional could be a Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Licensed Clinical Social Worker or a Psychiatrist (MD).
It is challenging for most people to run and operate a business. However, the combination of running a business, raising children, operating a household and being a wife, is absolutely over whelming for most people. In my opinion, something has to “give” somewhere and what is “giving” or wearing out, is you! Mom, you need a break and that is my guess.
What do I mean by a break?
By a break I mean that you need to do things for yourself.
First on the list of things for yourself is to see a mental health specialist as I mentioned above. This would include psychotherapy so that you could discuss the things that are bothering you and motivating you to behave in ways that obvious trouble you, like not telling your husband the truth.
Second is to give yourself time for you to do things that are relaxing liesurely, refreshing and life enhancing. What are some of these things?
1. I do not know your financial situation but, it is possible that, at this point in your life, running a business is not a good idea. If it is possible to close the business and be just a mom and wife, perhaps that is enough. This is something you really should discuss with your husband and then with your mental health professional.
2. Its a good idea to start an exercise program. Exercise relieves symptoms of stress and depression. Do not start such a program until you see your medical doctor.
Note: You really should have a physical exam to rule out any disease or physical problem that could be depleting your energy and ambition. Also, get clearance from your MD that you are healthy enough to exercise.
3. If you can live without working then you would have time and energy to go to the activities you children are engaged in at school. This is an important time in their lives and I am sure that they want you to attend. But, when exhausted from work and depression, there is not ambition remaining to motivate you to do these things.
4. Along with exercise and psychotherapy there are important things like yoga, meditation and time with friends to help you “unwind and feel better.”
Please understand that I don’t know for sure that your problem is work. However, it seems very possible that you might be experiencing depression and that is why you should see your Physician. Also, your husband needs to be made aware of what you are going through so that he can be helped to understand and be supportive.
If he cannot be supportive then something could be wrong in your marriage, maybe.
Best of Luck