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(Wo)man In The Middle

Question:

I am married with 3 kids and one on the way in a couple months and my question is how can I help my parents and my sister to resolve everything? My sister hasn’t talked to my parents in over 5 years and I just recently got in contact with her again. Now my parents are asking me all kinds of questions about what we talk about and they keep asking me why she is mad at them but i keep telling them that it is up to my sister to tell them what is bothering her when she is ready. See I know why shes mad at them and it is totally understandable because I went through the same thing as she did but I let it go because I want my kids to have a relationship with their grandparents. My sister is not married and has no kids. I hate being in the middle of all of this. I want to help everyone but the stress from them all is starting to weigh on me and my pregnancy. Any advice on this would be appreciated.

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Answer:

Your first duty is to your own health and the health of your pregnancy. Since the badgering from your parents (understandable as it is) is stressful to you, you are well within your rights to sidestep it and simply state to them that you will not talk about your sister with them. You’ve made your peace with your family; the continuing issue is between your sister and your parents. For the issue to be resolved, your sister will have to give in a little and allow communication between herself and your parents. Until that happens there isn’t much you could do to help the situation, save refuse in no uncertain terms to participate in any indirect communication attempts.

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