My mum died about a year ago.
I’m a 16 year old girl and feeling awful. I’ve been having bad mood swings, one minute I’m happy, then something irritates me and I can become sad or even angry. I have had suicidal thoughts and have cut my arm to try and relieve the pain. I have felt that each day seems to drag and school has become boring. When I used to love School I now hate it.
My thoughts are mixed up and I don’t know what to think. I feel worthless and hopeless. I don’t know what to do anymore. My emotions take over me sometimes and sometimes recently I feel like I can’t control them.
I’m worried that I will hurt someone I love emotionally as I tend to snap when I am in these bad moods.
I tend to isolate myself a lot and I have stopped telling people how I feel so that I have no risk of being hurt. I fell so alone and no one seems to understand how I feel. I have been told it could be my hormones, but I’m not sure. I took a depression test online, although it may not be reliable, it said I could have severe depression.
I just cant stand it anymore and I want out. Do you know if any of this means depression or is it my hormones???
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In my opinion, you are feeling very depressed. Whether the basic cause is hormones or life, all that really matters is what you are feeling. The next step, and there needs to be a next step, is for you to be diagnosed and the proper treatment applied.
My guess is that, even if your emotional state is due mainly to hormones, you will need psychotherapy in addition to medical treatment. Losing a mother is always a severe trauma for anyone. The fact that you lost her at the tender age of fifteen or sixteen years old makes it even more traumatic than if you were much older. Rather than no longer complaining to the adults in your life, you need to let them know how bad things are with you. Included in letting them know, you must make it known that you want help and need help. From the sound of it you are even thinking about suicide. They need to know this too.
If the adults at home will not listen, then, speak to the counselors at school, let them know what you are feeling and that you need help. They can even intervene with your family by informing them how serious this is.
I want to let you know that what you are experiencing is very serious. It is essential that you advocate for your self by making it clear to your family and to the school counseling department how awful things are for you.
I am sorry to hear about your loss.
Please, demand help now.