I’m a 29 YO, currently living in jakarta, Indonesia. to be brief about this, i am now living my life with a lot of difficulty. I can’t control myself lately, I got so easily angry, I can’t sleep at night because if i kept my mind relax for a bit i would realize that i was alone and i hate being alone, i sometimes have this unwanted thoughts and voices. I got myself depressed so easily. Am i getting crazy? I saw some of my family member have the same thing (my dad and my aunty), they have ruined their life and i don’t want to be like that. Sincerely yours, Angela
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Well, it certainly does seem as though you are going through a difficult time. Many of the symptoms that you describe, such as difficulty sleeping, feeling angry and having unwanted thoughts fit into the diagnosis of depression. You also mention having unwanted voices along with the thoughts and this could point to a Bipolar Disorder in which you are experiencing mood swings from depression to mania. However, you may be experiencing only one pole if the disorder: Major Depression. The fact that your dad and aunty experienced the same types of symptoms does point to the fact that you have inherited one of these disorders.
I want to assure you that there is no reason why having a behavioral or psychiatric disorder should ruin your life. Depression, Major Depression and Bipolar Disorders are all very treatable. People are able to continue with their lives in productive ways as long as they enter psychotherapy, take the appropriate medication and learn to control stress in order to prevent relapses. Telling yourself that you are "getting crazy" will only result in your feeling frightened. Again, help is available and you need to find that help so that you can get on with your life without these symptoms interfering.
I have no idea what mental health resources are available in Jakarta but I have known people from Indonesia and I know they were able to obtain psychiatric services there. I suggest that you find out what is available in Jakarta in the way of medical and mental health services go and get help for your self as soon as possible.
Best of Luck