The Link Between Bipolar Disorder And Anger

  1. Mood Cycles and Seeking Treatment
  2. Treatment Options
  3. Take Care of Yourself!

Anger and Bipolar Disorder

A person's beliefs, use of alcohol and other drugs, or a combination of past emotional hurts may be at the root of anger. However, some people have anger that is based in imbalances in brain chemistry, instead of emotions or drugs introduced into the body.

Anger and Bipolar Disorder

Anger is always the symptom of a problem. For those who have anger stemming from bipolar disorder, it can range from mild to wild.

  • Often, there is no particular trigger that sets off anger. Rather, the person may simply wake up feeling angry.
  • In other instances, the person may be sensitive to particular actions that invoke anger for the majority of people.
  • There are some cases where a person will significantly over-react in a very angry manner to an event that the majority of people will only find as an irritation or inconvenience.

Mood Cycles and Seeking Treatment

A person with bipolar disorder has a condition that is linked to chemical imbalances in the brain. The symptoms are comprised of going through cycles of depression and mania (too much energy, poor decision making, and/or racing thoughts).Therapist

A significant portion of people with bipolar disorder also have moderate to high levels of anger. It is accepted that most people with bipolar disorder need medication to help correct chemical imbalances in the brain.

Therapy is often very helpful because thoughts, environment, and social/family support are all very
important factors in controlling bipolar symptoms.

Making an appointment with a psychiatrist, nurse practitioner, or primary care physician who has training in mental health is another avenue to pursue. In most cases, a person with bipolar disorder will have the most success when participating in therapy and taking medication.


Treatment Options

There are various types of therapy and medications that have been shown to reduce bipolar disorder symptoms. Keep in mind that each person will respond to therapy and medications in different ways. A prescription that helps one person with bipolar disorder does not necessarily help the next. This also holds true for therapy.

Anger management can be very beneficial for some. However, there is often the need for CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), which has a focus on changing negative or angry thoughts to positive thoughts, as well as changing behaviors that promote anger.

Therapy is also useful to help the client identify strengths and members of their support system. Focusing on these strengths and supports allows the client to have additional means of coping with anger and other symptoms of bipolar disorder.


Take Care of Yourself!

Remember that self-care needs to be a priority.

  • This means keeping all of your therapy and doctor appointments, taking all medications as prescribed, and also being an active participant in therapy sessions.
  • Outside of your doctor's and therapist's offices, it is important to make sure that you are getting out of the house and taking part in some kind of activity, whether it be interacting with family, going to social events, exercising, or participating in a hobby you enjoy.
  • There are great community resources in most areas, such as free support groups at Mental Health America.
Comments
  • Observer

    I recently spoke to an individual who had just hand an anger episode with spouse which was a shouting match. When I asked why do they react that way. One individual stated, when my buttons are pushed, I push the other person's buttons because I know it will make the person. How does the pushee diffuse the pushers efforts to evoke anger? Does anyone have a suggestion?

  • stuart lee

    a lot of psychologists are viewing bipolar as a gift not an illness.we have high intellects where in states of high passion can be misconstrued as anger.i had trouble with the lows but my mood stabilisers just leave me high all the time.the link between genius and madness has always been recognised but in our society people try to maintain the pokerface and the facade of calm and control whereas under the surface they could be just as angry as a bipolar person.

  • Anonymous-1

    I, too would appreciate any thoughts on this topic. My husband is bipolar, and when in an angry episode will resist any and all of my attempts to quell the situation by becoming angrier and resort to insults and derogatory comments. Then gets angry because I refuse to get engaged in such conversations.

  • JEANIE CUELLAR

    I LOVE MY HUSBAND VERY MUCH BUT HIS BIPOLAR ACTION AND ANGER IS HURTING ME I SUFFERING AS A LOVE ONE WHO CARES MUCH BUT I SEE HIM AND HIS COMMENTS GETTING WORSE FOR HIM GETTING HELP HE SEE ME AS THE ONE SICK ALL BLAME IS PUT ON ME IF ANYONE GO YHOUGH THIS PLEASE HELP I FEEL I NEED TO GIVE UP AND LEAVE THANK YOU

  • Anonymous-2

    Stuart- bipolar rage is not a "gift" or passion. It is dangerous to those around the person when they lash out and can't remember the episode. I have three family members who have it and what you are saying is typical of how someone who has this disease views it. We who are on the receiving end do not view it as simplistic and harmless as you put it. I have been hit, punched, things thrown at me etc. so start looking at it from the other side and see it for the ugly truth. Real healing can't start until the offender sees how they are hurting those around them.

  • Anonymous-3

    Those debilitating rages and then your spouse, child, friend claims they do not rememebr or remember everything differently can be addressed by video/cell phone playback. They really don't remember and their rage is incomprehensible as it seems to pop out of now where. try recording a session, with camera if possible but with a voice activated tape recorder.

  • Howard Roberts

    I have been married for 4 years and its like living with a time bomb. when she has these rage attacks its like its some other person. she doesnt want to talk about it she doesnt want a resolve its like she just wants to fight. Several times it has escalated to violence and it scares me how do i react and cope with someone in that state.Is this a typical Bi polar attack. Is there something i can do .I feel totally helpless every time this happens. Its like all rational goes out the window theres no communication just rage. Should i run away, should i stay and try to help. often times i get angry and i feel i shouldnt. Could someone whos dealt with bi polar ocd and ptsd in a loved one please give me some advice

  • SC woman

    I am 31. I had a verbally and physically abusive childhood. I'm married (4th one). I seem to hate everyone around me. I struggle at work. I struggle at home. I have a good heart and want to help people, but I get so angry at EVERYTHING. Little things, big things, whatever, they all piss me off. I can't find good in almost anything. I scream, I throw, I sometimes punch. I always keep under control enough to not hurt anyone seriously. I feel wired and I don't take meds. I feel like I'm always on "wide open." I can't relax, it seems like I notice very detail of things and examine it til I find a flaw. I hate always feeling so steamed up, angry, misplaced, isolated. No one wants to hang with me cause I'm do dang negative. Please, help. I just want to relax. I recently noticed that drinking a couple of wine coors at night relaxed me enough to get sleep. Please, someone help. My psychotherapist says I'm not bipolar, I just need to talk. But one hour a month is NOT cutting it. What do I do????????

  • Anonymous-4

    I'm bipolar and have rage attacks. I never hurt anyone ,but I destroy alot of things that belong to me. My anger is always pionted to me?

  • jen

    I've just recently concluded that my husband of 12+ years is bipolar! The more I read the more I am convinced! He is very angry and like the two other wives say always makes derrogatory comments and always blames me for everything. I've asked him to get help numerous times as I thought at first it was adhd and he won't. Its like a weight off of my shoulders at least to figure it out! He talks excessivley goes around singing songs. Out loud, its phycosis! He's been spending what money he has at strip clubs and hardly will work, he can't complete tasks. Does not have good judgement and drinks a lot! Its so sad especially for my son.. Go to www.utube.com and watch some bipolar videos. I'd like to hear more about yor husbands and their behavior.

  • Anonymous-5

    I'd really love to actually e-mail some of you. I too am going through the same thing. I think my boyfriend (of 5 years currently, but we dated 20 years ago) is bipolar. I need to talk with someone. Please tell me how to get you my e-mail address. Please help. I think I'm on the verge of losing him.

  • Anonymous-6

    I was diagnosed with bi-polar in march of 2008. I currently receive treatment and take meds. My best advice for those who feel like something is wrong or people are telling them to get help because its affecting them would be to GO GET HELP!!! I lost a great loving wife who was my world,a 5 year marriage to her, a beautiful home, and a part of myself along the way because i was angry with everybody else for how i was feeling. I have since remarried and have a 16 month son to a great wife who is my biggest support and every time i want lash out at anybody i put myself in their shoes. Dont use bi-polar as an excuse or crutch.Take the hand of the person trying to help you!

  • lori

    I have been married for almost 15 years to a bi polar man who when he is not raging is a great guy, but after 15 yrs of the emotional abuse that comes along with the rage I am barely holding on to my marriage. I cannot ckeep apologizing for things that he claims I do. I cannot handle how his anger is worse now and spirals out of control. I cannot keep living this way, nor can I keep putting our kids in its path. He does not see how close I am to leaving. He refuses to get help and yet I am the one suffering.

  • REC

    I have been with a bipolar woman for three years. She is amazing, but every 3 weeks it is like a bomb going off. Computers, glass, phones and jewelery go flying. Followed by get out, I am done this relationship is over. She says I am mean and controlling. I will get 900 text messages telling me how I am worthless. it may only be a question that sets her off, but you can't get her back down either. nothing you say or do ends this cycle. Every three weeks right before her period, my relationship ends. Does anyone have any advice?

  • Anonymous-7

    I'm bipolar. Spent my whole life up to 14 being a sweet, timid girl who never expressed or really even felt anger. At 14 I had a blow-up for a couple of years. Then calm again. At 22 had manic symptoms. Now 31 and sure I'm bipolar, I feel anger at least half of the time, pick fights with my husband over nothing, and taking makes it much worse every morning (but it helps with anxiety rest of the day).

    I want to re-assure friends/partners of bipolars that this rage is part of Bipolar, and is completely separate from their personalities. I am not an irritable/bitchy person at all, but the disease makes me feel that way so strongly that I cannot help but say nasty things.

    I'mcoping by learning to not talk to my husband or anyone when I feel this way. It's very hard to contain, and has taken me years to convince myself when angry that it's a symptom (the anger is so severe that your mind tells you that your reasons are legitimate when they are not). I have been very honest/open with him about it, let him know when I'm feeling that way so he stays away.

    As for Seroquel, I want to go off it but waiting for a psychiatrist appt to do so. I need something to replace it.

    Smoking makes it a lot worse. The subtle mood swings caused by nicotine levels changing brings out the anger, anxiety, and psychotic thinking. Quitting is the best thing that you can do for your mental health, but you will go insane while doing so, worse than most people, so schedule a week off to get over the worst of it. Cold turkey is the best way to do it bipolar, otherwise the psychosis will just continue for longer since nicotine is still in your system.

    Exercise is really good for anger, but I know...so hard to do when you are ill. I enjoy playing DDR at home by myself. It's ligh-hearted, graded so you can get OCD about your performance, and the songs are super happy. Plus you don't have to go outside while agorophobic.

    -31yr old, ex psychology major (completed 4 yrs with very high grades), and 20yrs of dealing with my own mental illness.

  • Anonymous-8

    Whatever the reason for the rage, no one should have to endure the verbal/physicall abuse, intimidation, or threats of these temper tantrums. It's nothing short of a living hell to be on the recieving end of this. After trying to help a family member for years, I am physically and mentally drained and just ready to just give up. Medication, therapy and hospitalizatons have all be futile.

  • Anonymous-9

    I to am experiencing the same thing with a man that I love deeply. The last 2 yrs have been a roller coaster ride. The things that come out of his mouth is so hurtful. He even tells me I'm nothing to him I'm worthless. But I try my best not to argue with him because I don't want to anger him. He has been so hurt in the past that in his mind he feels like I hurt him. The reality is I would never hurt him and I love him unconditionally despite all the episodes he goes through. I pray every night that he will get the help he needs. He is a wonderful man and loving when he is not in his moods.. So please for everyone dealing with a bipolar loved one stay strong.

  • Anonymous-10

    I am bi-polar and look to my family as a support system to get me through the emotional rollercoater rides but often left to fend on my own to bring myself down. When I come off my high I usually spend time thinking how no one was there for me and that sends me back on my high. People we need help and reassurance in order to deal with our emotions. It's not easy and I often am sincere after the fact but couldn't help the outburst and rage sometimes often associated with my illness. My wife is totally unsupportive and finds any reason to tuck and run when I need her the most. Please remember to support the person and that most of what your hearing are just mere words in times of frustrations. The old cliche "Sticks and Stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me" it's just that simple....remember this person needs your to overlook the situation and be there for support.

  • Hldreddogii

    My husband of thirty-six years thinks he is inspired when on the manic energetic phase and justified when raging and depressed, but as the illness shifts to a more calm place, he feels guilty and thanks me from the bottom if his huge heart for all the unconditional support I have given him despite the toll it has taken on me. One really must be exceptionally strong to support a loved one with this illness. Remember that nothing of the usual logic will penetrate when the person is not acting out of the rational part of the brain. So stay calm and don't take the abuse to heart. Easier said than done. You need support yourself. Don't rely on just friends or you will wear them out too! Find a professional you can talk to.

  • James

    I dated a lady who I thought was the love of my life. Immediately the bi-polar behavior came up in her, tried to keep it together for 9 months.

    Deep down inside I knew she would not change, now I have changed. The worst 9 months of my life. I have only myself to blame. Finally said, let me go, she did, heartbroken.

  • Anonymous-11

    My Husband is By Polar with a Personality disorder and he is angry all the time and very verbally abussive. We have a son with Down Syndrome who is now 18 and has seen to much in his life. My Husband smokes like a chimney and drinks beer way to much but refuses to give it up. He is on all kinds of medication,morphine,anti depressents, pills for restless leg syndrone, and a couple of other things and his anger has got so bad I just can,t take it anymore but really scared to take my son and raise him on my own. I really need advice.

  • Let me help

    Your husband and I have much in common. I was addicted to oxycontin and I believe I am bipolar. His mood swings are caused by most likely both his medication and being bipolar. I feel very badly for him because that is a miserable state. Instead of feeling the happy highs most bipolar people feel, your husband gets angry. And his anger is most likely then followed by self loathing. But he is able to escape it through the opiates. They make you numb enough to drift through each day. But they do get so they don't work. I don't care what they have him on. Your brain adapts.

    So I'm sure he would be willing to to take heroin if need be. I had hit that point right when I quit. But i can assure you, he is a miserable man. You guys need to go to counseling together. He needs to stop the opiates (they make the pain worse not better). He will not believe that but it is 100% true. When I quit oxycontin after I got over being sick I felt far less pain than I had felt on the drug. Your brain will generate fake pain for more drugs. That is how powerful they are and insanely sneaky. He will still hurt. That is reality. But his quality of life and pain level will go down off the drugs. I know when people told me that I just blew them off right there. I have lived this. I live it now.

  • South68

    I have been in a relationship with man who seemed very stable, conservative, fun and shy at first. Fast forward five years: Yes, it has been, as most have described, a complete and total hell of a roller coaster. It has been quite devastating to many aspects of my life and very confusing, also. A couple of nights ago, his Mom told him he needed to get a handle on the Manic Depression he was diagnosed with as a teenager as it was ruining his adult life. We were both shocked! She apparently thought he had remembered this and so had not brought it up to him. He's 43!!!

    I fully understand now what I have been dealing with these years. I am hoping and praying he will now get help. He's blamed much of his behavior on me and it's caused many problems in my life. I am in a position now where I must give him an ultimatum to seek help or I will have to say goodbye to save my own sanity.

  • Scott Correll

    I was diagnosed about ten years ago. At first I refused my wife at the times request to talk to someone. I worked at that time as a mental health conselor for children and in my mind I could fix myself I was wrong or cost me my wife my home and set me into a downward spiral for many years. I was mad at the world blamed my ex wife for our divorce and the lose of everything I worked hard for. And yet still foot no help continued to counsel kids for ten more years till I totally melted down I had nothing left including my job I loved so much. About two years later I met my girlfriend and we went through some rough times I would flip out for no reason and then feel totaly embarrassed about my actions. She was the one that got me to see a Dr finally I have it for the most part undercontrol. However three weeks ago I had a blow up at work in which I was suspended for. I'm putting that last part in so people with and without this understand it's constant work that for the rest of your life you have to put in. This disease has cost me almost everything I loved in life and I made the choice with some good people to make a change. So for the ones with bipolar get help to stop the pain. To the ones who care for people with it go to help groups for families and friends that have someone in their life with this. My girlfriend has done this and it gave her a great understanding why I do things anyone who would like to talk or vent more then welcome to email me at Correll5092@gmail..com

  • het1226

    Hi everyone. After a night of no sleep thanks to my husband raging i found this site. We have been married for almost 7 years and have 4 children. There are not enough words to say just how tired and drained i am. Daily i live anxiety ridden due to my husbands cycles. Its making me crazy. I no longer have any desire to pursue anything that brings me happiness as his favorite way to lash out at me is thru public humilation. I feel like a shell of the person i used to be. Im never validated. He is never there for me as he can barely take care of his own issues. I feel isolated and alone. Ive become thst woman where i put up a front like i have the best husband in the world, yet i can see in other peoples eyes just how pathetic i am. I csn no longer fool anyone, as he is getting bolder and bolder during his fits of rage. After his violent outbursts he will then spend the next 24 to 48 hours bullying me, threatening me and trying to intimidate me. Then comes the tears, the cards, the flowers... and i just smile and pretend.... when inside im just bracing myself.... i feel living like this has taken a toll on my health and mental wellbeing.... did i mention im lonely? Even if i do share things with him, in hopes that he will take the position to hold me up, he insted uses those very moments to hurt me when he is angry. He gets so angry, but cant quite tell me why, but its all directed at me. Each time seems a little worse than the last... or maybe im just exusted. I dont know what to do. But im afraid this will be my life forever. It makes me weep just thinking thst it might be. I wish sometimes we could just seperate, civally. That he would get help and then come back. I despretely need a break. To make things worse, hes been on workmans comp since feb, so now i have to see him everyday, all day. I hate it. I wish hed go vack to work, but i dont dare tell him that. Someone please, please help me. I feel trapped :(

  • SB

    I'm dealing with an angry raging bipolar husband too. I've read these posts but where are the comments or replies to these people from the blogger or others who can help? I must be missing somethingThe dere are people crying out for help and seems no one is answering. Hello?

  • Allan N. Schwartz, PhD

    As the write of the blog states, Bipolar Disorder is managed with medication, particularly mood stabilizers that prevent the mood swings between deep depression all the way to frenzied manic episodes. One of the symptoms of this mood disorder is anger. Because there is a drug and alcohol abuse problem for many with Bipolar Disorder the symptoms only worsen, including anger. One of the readers of this blog also stated that one can have Bipolar and a Personality Disorder, as well.

    Unfortunately, medication cannot control personality disorders but psychotherapy can help a lot. Perhaps the best therapy for personality disorders is cognitive behavior therapy (CBT). CBT helps people to change the types of thinking that feed into personality disorders.

    In the end, there is no excuse for abusive behavior whether a person has a bipolar disorder or not. If someone is not able to control their anger and refuses help then there is no choice but to leave that person, whether married or living together.

    I hope this helps.

    Dr. Schwartz

  • Anonymous-12

    Hello everyone.

    I am a person who has a best friend whose bi-polar and I do need some assistance. For the last 6 years I've been his best friend and has helped him in all ways with this illness. I've taken more hits from him than anyone in his life and have helped and been there for him more than anyone has in HIS life. Its been a very long time yet it hasn't gotten any better. I do everything I can from talking to doing research on this myself to help him to taking all his anger, rage, frustration, sarcasm, and burst of viciousness. I've had plenty of opportunities to walk away from this and only now am I actually thinking about it.

    I love him like a brother and he feels the same about me, but I my fears about this are starting to truly take shape. Not to mention HE is getting worse...the anger and rage are becoming more frequent and for reasons that don't make any sense anymore. I've done what I normally do - take it from him, calm him down, and help him get to a better place along with myself. But now, that doesn't seem to be enough.

    I could go on about everything else I do for him but that would be too much to read. Needless to say, I've made nothing but sacrifices for him over the years, and all my actions regarding him is strictly just to compromise, assist, support, and create a better friendship for us.

    But somewhere along the way, that stopped being enough. While he takes medication and is a agoraphobic, (Tried my best to help him with that too but its been the cause of plenty of his outburst, so I've sinced stopped.) I've still compromised for him more than anyone, and I've continues to talk talk talk and help him with his issues. But to no avail. And therapy is not an option for him because he's poor and doesn't have health insurance...and I don't have enough money either to help him with anything like that.

    Again its been 6 years, and now, its taken its toll over me. I have now become hesitant in doing what I normally do for him, and have been questioning myself at every turn if I'm making the right choices for myself as well as him. And worse, I've felt repeated hurt, embarrassed, knocked out and worn down by his rage, sadism, and viciousness.

    My loyalty and love for him is still there, but my resolve for all this is fading....fading fast, and everyone else in my life telling me that this is going to last for another decade and there's nothing I can do about it....I feel scared and concerned about how my own future will inevitably be effected by my best friend.

    I'm still doing research so if ANYONE knows of any books or strategies or any of the sort that can help me with this and him, giving me a better understanding and informing me of what to do from here, please email me at TheChanges23@yahoo.com.

    It will be greatly apppreciated. Thank You.

  • VICTORIA

    My husband is a Bipolar person and he refuses to see any doctors or psychologists !!!

    I was physically abused, mentally tortured and psychologically abused including emotional and verbal abuse !!!

    all roll into one !!!!!

    one day with no apparent reason at all..he pick up a fight with me.......drinking plenty of beer........it trigger in him into rages of anger and I became his victim of insults and name calling!!!! how many times this drama scene has been taking place day in and day out. week in and weeek out !! draining and sapping me of all energy and how miserable I was !!!!!

    He even forgotten that he had hold a kitchen knife pointing at my throat, with saliva foaming like a wild animal from his mouth and his eyes of demonic look..presses me down on the bed.....less than an hour ago, he came home feeling good and cheery !!

    IF HE KILLED ME..I WOULD HAD DIE FOR NOTHING !!!!!

    IS IT WORTH IT TO STAY.... NO MATTER HOW STRONG MY LOVE FOR HIM !!!!

    i QUESTION MYSELF EVERYDAY !!!!!

    MY PERSONAL SAFETY IS FAR MORE IMPORTANT THEN SAVING THIS ABUSIVE AND VIOLENT RELATIONSHIP AND MARRIAGE !!!

    My heart says STAY but my mind says....GO !!!!!!!!!!

    IF I DONT FOLLOW MY MIND......ONE DAY, i DONT EVEN HAVE A HEART TO LOVE AND TO LISTEN TO !!!

    because he is too controlling and too manipulative !!!! and I am slowly losing my own self worth as a good human being !!

    WHAT KIND OF LIFE IS THAT ?? IS THAT WHAT I WANT ???

    LOVE AND KINDNESS TO STAY IS ONE THING BUT TO LOSE YOUR OWN SELF IDENTITY AND SELF WORTHINESS IS FAR MORE IMPORTANT AND CRUCIAL !!!!!!!

    it is indeed very sad that even medication will not help in the long run....you cant fight what is genetic and encoded in that BIPOLAR person......it is a losing battle for the caregiver !!!!!

    unless the caregiver is willing to have a shattered life as a victim of circumstances, to continue to be abused, to be shove at.... to be beaten, and probably to be slain......

    LORD, GIVE US THE WISDOM TO KNOW WHAT CAN BE CHANGED AND WHAT CANNOT BE CHANGED.....!!!!

  • Just a dude

    Im 27 years old and my father has a past and somewhat preset alcohol problem. I'm not entirely sure if its symptoms of bipolar disorder or anything closely related but it sure seems possible. He will bottle up any emotions or frustrations, only cries when he sees something on tv or whatever that maybe triggers what hes feeling inside. We cannot talk or bond like father and son should be able to. This has been going on since i was a small child. He also phsyically and mentally abuses my mother, and now that im old enough to protect her and defend myself its gotten worse. I think its because he no longer has free reign to belittle and destroy her self worth. These things bring a type of bipolar to mind. He will point out our weak areas and use them as ammunition for senseless anger ridden arguments and fits of rage. They have been married for nearly 30 years and it has broken her down physically, mentally and emotionally. I feel afraid to go out on my own if they stay married due to what might happen if i'm not there to put myself as a mediator in whatever situation may arise. Because of this i am losing my quality of life and potential for a life on my own. Every blowout he will bring up the fact that im not responsible and that im just leeching off of them, but he does not take into consideration that i fear for my mothers health. She has alot of health issues and recently had somewhat of a minor stroke. He is a martyr and loves to be the bread winner. 2 years ago he was let go from the job he had for around 8 years, and is now recieving unemployment. This most likely made the underlining problems worse. Money is the root of 90 percent of peoples problems including our family. But having more income in the household won't change whats already started. He isn't an everyday drinker, more like a few times every week or so, but eventually uses it as an crutch to lower inhibitions and then insult and become violent. He was adopted as a child because his mother could not have children. Not knowing your biological parents must take its toll on a person in ways i cant even understand. I'm confident that this issue is one of the main forces in causing depression and anger but he will not admit so. He is meticulous and acts as if hes near perfect and has no problems, and recognizing problems is the first step to solving them. This may not be the right place to vent my feelings but it feels appropriate given the circumstances. Things will be baseline, normal and then bam every few months theres a huge blowout that plays out the exact same way everytime. We both went to jail over a year ago because he knocked my mom to the floor and i punched him in the face and proceeded to fight until the cops were called. I am not a mean or violent person, i just stand up for whoever is being treated unfairly, i do not take sides contrary to his belief. To anyone that is in a similar situation, i feel your frustration and hurt. Life is a fragile thing and some people dont realize this, disorders or not. Im at a loss of what to do about this and we both cannot endure much more. Divorce may be an option but i dont know how well they would do on their own due to expenses and debt. Marriage is a serious thing and so is creating a family, do not pursue it unless you can deal with what comes with it. I wish from the bottom of my heart that i could have a better relationship with my father but i dont see it happening, some people just refuse to change. I hope anyone in a similar situation the best of luck with lots of love to find a better road to travel, this is not what life is meant to be.

    Peace, Love & Light

  • Anonymous-13

    Leave him. As a victim of an abusive relationship all I can say is go, and now. You wont regret it. It doesnt matter what they have medically or mentally they have no right. Leave and thank yourself later

  • Anonymous-14

    Married to bipolar & schitzoaffective man for 30 years. Hoping love, patience and medicine will someday produce a healthy relationship. This has been the most painful relationship but also joyful during times of improved mental health.

  • kim

    do we always ha to be their dorrmats? is it worth ourselves?

  • Ann

    I married my husband 9 long years ago. From almost day one of the marriage he was two people. A freindly guy who is helpful and funny and the scary guy who is insulting, bullies me, sarcastic, breaks things, blames me, belittles me and the list goes on. Today was my birthday. I thought he would not repeat last year by forgetting it and on top of that being mean, no but this year he was meaner than ever and never aknowledged it at all. His comments are horrible like do you want a parade, shut up I am watching tv who cares if it is your birthday. No present, no smiles not even a card, nothing just a angry mean spirited man full of darkness and terror. I pray Oh God help me, don't let him break things today, help me Lord. I sometimes pray to die. I cannot live with such a horror. 9 years of putting up with this man and I have no job, no car, no money and I am 57 laid off in 2009. So I have no place to go.

  • Laur

    Looks like I'm experiencing all the same things with my husband of 9 years. We've been together 17 years and I've always noticed the anger but these past 7 years have been a living hell. These past 9 months have been absolutely miserable. I, like everyone else, get belittled, called worthless, a fata*s, amongst many other names. I'm also lazy apparently, even though we work the same amount but I take care of the two kids 99% of the time but it's not enough. And then when I do more than ever expected from any wife it's just not good enough. Everything is wrong. he has a problem with porn and will look at it for hours at a time when he's alone. Now, he takes video and pictures of women who don't even know! I think that's illegal, right?!? He accuses me of cheating on him all the time bc he's "probably" been doinf the same. But I've only ever caught him texting never anything else but I'm not stupid. I'll admit, after our fallout on Christmas Day I did wind up seeking another sexual partner and had a blast for two months. I was treated like a woman should be treated and I felt wonderful. It even helped me ignore my husbands rage therefore causing the house to be more peaceful. But then the guilt set in so I stopped and wanted to make him better again. Bad idea. It's gotten so bad that I'm now looking for another house. I want out. He won't leave me and the kids bc on top of the bipolar and anger he's a stubborn SOB. so I have to uproot our lives to get away from him. My 4 year old and 7 year old know he is mental as well. We talk about it. We discuss that if they ever feel this way to tell me immediately so I can get them the help they need before it's too late. husbands parents blamed it on genetics (the anger) and always laughed it off. They're idiots. Now they blame me. Again, morons.

    Glad im not alone. Good luck everyone. I'm the most positive wife, mother, woman in the world but I can't be anymore bc of him. He's ruined me. Time to move on.

  • Jane

    Currently he is in a mental hospital for threatening my life and his daughter's. He has also threatened suicide. He has had a lot of health issues the past few years along with depression, but a few months ago he started hitting a high manic state of mind. He has driven us into debt, cursed at family and friends, is delusional, and his behavior is not him at all. He thinks he has all this money coming in, but not so. He goes from anger to crying. Many days I have to worry and wonder where he is because he just rides around stopping and talking to everyone he meets or buying something else. He still thinks he has bought things he really hasn't....like a new house. Of all the illnesses he has had, this is the most frustrating, anquishing and sadest of them all. It's been hard on all the family, not just me. He even looks like a different person his eyes are glazed over and he has lost weight. I pray the Depakote the doctors have him on will help level out his mind! He does not take illegal drugs or alcohol but sometimes his speech is slurred. For several months he does not want to sleep, and gets maybe 2 hours per night. I thought our older years would be happy, quite, and peaceful, but this desease has robbed us both of that. Reading all these comments, I see that I am not alone.

  • Amanda mclay

    I have been ill most of my life but suffered every trauma other than parental sexual abuse. Doctors have fobbed me of with antidepressants and although it has been a constant struggle to get out of bed in the morning a get through the day i have backed my husband in his business and done all the admin and accounts , i have raised two wonderful kids to adulthood ( miscarried another two) i went to college five years ago and did my HNC in early education and childcare for which i attained an A and i did this with very severe anemia as i menstruated almost all the time. I had ablations , coils you name it but nothing worked so i got a hysterectomy two days after my 50 th birthday. I had been ill for all the special occasions in my life so in April 2013 i went out with the mind to celebrate all the occasions i never got to do. I went out at 3.30 pm on a Saturday and by 4.30 i was asked to leave the establishment we were in because i was being to loud i am totally unaware of this by memory i only know because my sister told me later . We left there and as i stepped of the kerb i fell and one of my freinds fell on top of me. I don't remember this either but i do remember the minute i felt the pain my shoulder was in agony long story short went to a& e and they said just bruised and sent me home the weeks and months that followed were not right my emotions and my well being was very badly affected i was in constant pain so put on gabapentine and amatriptaline but after five months and many visits to go and doctor it was confirmed that actually my shoulder was broken in the May i also buried a good friend after he battled with a brain rumor for ten years.

    Then the blow hit i began to cry one day at the end of August and couldn't stop. I did not know why i was crying but couldn't stop for days i was put on medication which numbed my feelings and on the 4th of October my father in law died suddenly, on the same day my-mother in law was in hospital suffering with a urine infection on top of dementia and we had to visit and be normal because we couldn't tell her about dad. I managed fine and as we were leaving hospital i noticed that my foot was sore and it was a reoccurrence of a condition called sudecks atrophy which meant the tablets were causing a problem so had to be taken of them and given diazepam in the interim while the referal to psychiatric services was through i went to the appointment about three weeks later i had not hot out of bed since my father in law. I was in such a bad state of depression they couldnt even measure me. After weeks of seeing my nurse regularly and psychiatrist and gradually upping the dose of medication fortnightly i could have a bit of peace at times. I was sent for and assessment and was told that all my depression , stress and anxiety were extremely severe and of the scale.

    14 years prior to this episode i had suffered hypermotor activity which had me walking non stop for weeks i could not stop moving adrenilin was flooding my body i was on thirteen tablets a day and nothing worked so my doctor made a referal to the local psychiatric hospital for me to be admitted for initially a week. I fell apart and begged him not to because my children needed me and i couldn't let my mum look after them because she was abusive to me all my life and she had started to play my children of against each other so he said i had one more chance , he gave me a pill called motival and with in about 20 minutes of taking it i began to still and gradually i was calm so i took this pill for about two years then was weened of it and put on an ante depressant to maintain my mental health.

    Anyway after assessment the consultant psychiatrist asked to see me and he said

  • Marie

    My son is bipolar and he always directs his anger at me and not his dad. I have him talk to his dad when ever he asks me anything about money. I dont know how to deal with him. I do love him so much. After he yells at me and says mean things i just tell him i know you don't really mean what you said and nothing will ever make me stop loving you. I feel so sad inside for him. He is taking medicine but im not sure if he is talking to someone.

  • Exhausted

    Well that seals it... now I KNOW my boyfriend of 20 years is Bipolar for sure as he is all the posts here rolled into one. Good to hear that these horrible behaviors are typical of this disorder, not an isolated event I am dealing with when I feel it's time to call an Excorcist!

  • John

    I have loved a bipolar woman for 2 years now. I have been on an emotional roller coaster from very high to very low with poilce and hospitals involved. I am drained. I love her so much but I have no idea if I am strong enough to continue this relationship. Sometimes when God sloes a door on you, the question is do you continue to knock on the door to try to get back in or do you choose to walk away. I honestly dont know.

  • Anonymous-15

    My husband hasn't been diagnosed, after reading this site and everyone's comments I'm 100% positive he's bipolar. I started to see some crazy rages when we were engaged but I thought he had a reason to be angry. Now I see anger daily. I can't do anything right. He's always anxious, paranoid, then angry, next depressed and lastly apologetic. We go through this cycle daily. It is driving me crazy. I try to remain calm but his comments make me react. He says the meanest things. I get tired of being blamed for things he's missing. He always blames others for how he's reacting. It's embarrassing to be in public when he overacts to everything. He thinks there are unwritten rules that people around us at any given moment aren't following. I just plan to seek a support group.

  • SCAMP

    I'm searching the net for answers - what to do?? My husband is easily frustrated if he forgets to turn off the light, or other small things or an inanamate objects. He lashes out at me. I've been going in and out, up and down the rollar coaster for 12 years. Today, he moved over to his brother's (again). Don't know if it's too late to get treatment this late in life. Will that correct the damage?

  • Michele

    Been with someone for three years. My girlfriend tells everyone I'm the calm one. I've always felt as though this one person is two people. I have even named the side that get so angry and violent. One minute my girlfriend is loving, content, humorous, and loves to cook. Then in the same breathe a trigger happens and she becomes irritable, angry, loud, and can resort to breaking stuff. It's always my fault and blame. Then she becomes apologetic. I do not believe she takes her medicine. It's a new year and she became hostile because I told her I was going out..i gave her a week in advance. Since then she hasn't spoken to.me only via text. Pure insults, threaten to throw my keys in the trash and said I don't have to worry about ever seeing her again..my mind is blown away and I'm intensely sad and angry....just before this she was asking what I wanted for dinner when I came over. I do not even know if I'm still in a relationship...maybe it is really time to walk away. I'm lost, hurt, sad and angry. This is a deadly disorder for loved ones...tears falling..

  • blue

    I agree that they have a superior ability to sense behavior and my ex boyfriend was amazing. in fact, I still can move on and really 'break up' becuase I realy love him still. He is a genius. he is extra perceptive and extremely sensitive, catered to me even though I did not expect that type of treatment. He really took such good care of me. He is a beautiful person and I want to re-enter back into his life but he wont talk to me at all.

    One day everything was great, then out of the blue the next day, he went silent. I dont know what or why but totally shut down and was quiet. then got really angry because I wanted to help and know what was happening...he never has said he has an illness but I suspected he was bipolar and based on all these posts, I notice he acts just like this. 5 months of bliss, then abruptly angry, gets angrier by the second. then he just snapped and said that is it, im done, were broken up ...alllll by text. I let a week pass and got in touch and he said he will bring my things to my apt and I shoul not come over EVER. So I was abandoned and stripped of everything. It is the most painful thing I have ever experienced in my life. Im still suffering and it has been 3 months.my heart and brain are burning. I can move forward. I feel that if I let this winter sadness pass and contact him just to "see how things are going" perhaps he will be back to his other self? When he switched into the angry mood, his body language changed too, he even appeared to have a facial change, expression went blank. then he said he had no feelings for me and just wantsto move on. this was after he was overwhelmingly loving and overextending himself.

    Oh I am in so much pain and misery, and at the same time I want to know how to help and reach out and stand by him but he wont let me do anything....when I talked to him on the phone he started accusing me of things that never happened before. he got delusional. he woul not return my stuff and wanted to hang on to my things indefninately. I asked for it and said I would get it and he said no he wants to deliver to me later and he will bring later in the future. Do you think he is having an episode and knows when he is well, he will have the energy to want me back? whats with wanting to keep my stuff??

  • Brenda Rodriguez

    I have been labelled Bo-polar and not onlydo I get angry I have to make the person or Persons that caused my walls of defence to be activated to feel my anger. Its usually family. I attack who and what they are. I trigger the anger to beat them down with their imperfections and thier failures. I want to make them feel guilt and hiw worthless they are. I want to see and feel what I have done to them. They need to know anger is just not a Bi-Polar issue its also a revenge issue. That's the reality of your article not what you say it is.

  • stacy

    Living with someone that is mad all the time isn't what I wanted in my life , at first he was amazing now not so much we don't get along at all hrs living in our past he needs help

  • Blue

    I found out that this bipolar boyfriend is actually prowling around on PUA Forums. He goes around and games for sex now. what an angry, insecure, sorry man. wpmen realy need to resist going home with these guys. when women go home and fall for sweet talking games pick up artists play it just makes these mysogynistic guys think they win. what a dark, pathetic world.

    Anyway, he freaked out on ME - made me feel horrible and imperfect so he broke up with me via text. He is actually in a bad shape - a lowlife. It doesnt matter how NICE he is to people - this is just gross.