I have been in a relationship for about 3 years with someone who has a girlfriend and is married. I’m not sure if he is separated, but he is about 20 years my senior. I have been trying to get the nerve to end it, but for some reason I can’t. I lost my virginity to him. What do I do? He lies constantly and is a manipulator when I want to get the nerve to end it. But I never tell him. He is also a womanizer who never tells me the truth, but insists that we have a honest relationship.
- ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
- ‘Anne’ bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
- Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
- Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
- No correspondence takes place.
- No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by ‘Anne’ to people submitting questions.
- ‘Anne’, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. ‘Anne’ and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
- Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.
I have a feeling that you already know what you need to do: leave this relationship. I am concerned that you are having an intimate relationship with a man whom you don’t even know is separated or not from his wife — and is additionally seeing another woman. Although you lost your virginity to this man, you are not tied to him in any way no matter how romantic the notion may be. You know that he lies constantly and he has a serious character flaw of being a womanizer. You cannot possibly imagine having a meaningful, deeply intimate, and completely honest (including monogamous) relationship with this man, can you? I believe it is imperative that you get up the nerve to leave this man. There are many other men in this world that will treat you the right way. Best of luck to you, – Anne
More "Ask Anne" View Columnists