Mandy has been working in the mental health field for more than eight years and has worked with a diverse group of clients. These range
1) Successful People Take risks
Successful people don’t sit on the side lines day dreaming. They DO what they think about. They aren’t afraid to get stuck in and take risks. Many ventures in life will never be 100% safe or guaranteed. Don’t let risk stop you. Get out there and see what happens. What have you got to lose? More people look back over their lives and regret what they didn’t do rather than what they did do.
2) Successful People Possess Unwavering Self Belief
Successful people do sometimes suffer from self doubt but they are good at talking themselves out of it or not taking their thoughts too seriously. Instead of overanalysing all that could go wrong, they concentrate on their strengths. These strengths serve as the basic foundation from which they leap out into the wide world to show off their skills. Self belief accounts for a large part of success. I have seen many people with lacklustre talent achieve great things due to their self belief. I have also seen super talented people waste their potential completely due to their lack of self belief. Self belief is the ‘springboard’, talent influences how high you can go. Without self belief – all talent is wasted.
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3) They Don’t Care What Others Think
Successful people care very much about their own opinions. Not in an arrogant, self important way but in a faith-based way. They know what they are capable of and they have strong belief systems. The difference with their belief systems though compared to the ‘average Joe’ is that their belief systems work very much in their favour. They like themselves and they like what they stand for. They have strong ideals/values and live a life that is true to what is important to them. It’s easy to be ‘wishy washy’ when you don’t have clear values about life.
4) They Think Outside the Box
Successful people don’t tend to just accept life as “the way it is”. They constantly askwhy and they constantly look for ways to improve the “way it is”. They are leaders, not followers and aren’t afraid to go against the grain. The more people tell them something can’t be done, the more determined they become to give it a go.
5) They’re Optimistic at Heart
At the thought of a new project, successful people are looking at possibilities instead of looking at all the possible problems. They allow the delicate creative process to develop before adding in rational and realistic forecasts. Nothing would ever be invented or achieved if we all started a project by looking at what could go wrong with it instead of focusing on what is possible. They look for the good in situations and this attitude creates a strong mental buffer that protects optimists against the ravages of the negative aspects in life.
6) They’re Resilient/Not Afraid of Failure
Failure is seen as a clue to the puzzle. Instead of internalising failure, successful people see it as a necessary part of life. They do not see themselves as failures, rather they look at the task as not working out. There is a clear mental separation between the person and the action. Failure is only a big deal if you make it one.
7) Successful People Possess a “Can Do” Attitude
Enthusiastic and always ready for a challenge, successful people look at finding solutions. They are fixers in life. They’re not obsessed about fixing things that can’t be fixed though and know when to back off and let something go. People with low self esteem tend to be the ones that find it hard to let go as they associate themselves and the task as one and see themselves as failures if they are unable to fix the issue. Successful people can maintain perspective and not get carried away with their enthusiasm. They recognise when effort outweighs the benefits.
8) They Take responsibility For Their Own Lives
This is a biggie. Successful people know that they are in their current position in life due to their own choices. People that don’t take responsibility for their choices in life tend to repeat the same old lines:
“It’s my parent’s fault that I am the way I am”. Parents do indeed influence us to a point but instead of blame, successful people accept their misfortune and almost use their rough start in life to fuel them further. They want to achieve despite what happened to them.
“I hit you because you provoke me. You make me do it.” Really? I don’t buy it. Unless there is a gun to your head, you still choose how to react. You can’t control others and their wayward thoughts but you most certainly choose what you do about it.
“I had an affair because you don’t pay me enough attention.” Another ‘cop out’. Have an affair if you need to (who am I to judge) but don’t blame someone else. That’s just ridiculous and shows denial at its best. Even if a relationship is awful, you are stillchoosing to stay in it and therefore cannot blame your partner for the misery you feel. They definitely contribute to your misery but it’s not all their fault. Personal responsibility would lead to happier lives for many people playing the ‘victim game’.
9) They Are Self Aware – Know Their Strengths/Weaknesses
Successful people have a healthy respect for themselves and they know what they’re good at. They also know what they aren’t that good at. They have no issues in admitting to their weaknesses either but they are good at capitalising on their good bits. Successful people may sound super human but they aren’t at all. They just use their thinking to the nest of their abilities and choose the thoughts that work for them.
10) They Give Back
Truly successful people aren’t completely out for themselves. They see the bigger picture and they give back to others. They have a set of healthy beliefs about others – that people are generally good and not “out to get them”. People from unhappy and unsettled childhoods tend to grow up seeing the world as a mean, unkind place and they are more likely to incorporate negative beliefs about the world. As an adult, it is important to question these negative beliefs and find out that they don’t apply anymore in many respects. As adults we have more choice in life and it’s up to us to make the most of our lives. With a more balanced view of the world, we are far more likely to want to give back. If we are angry and feel hard-done-by, we are far less likely to want to contribute positively to the world around us. We believe that we are owed something..and victim mode sets in again ( see Number 8).
We can’t change what has happened in the past. It’s always very sad for me to witness people stuck in the past. They have negative memories and play them in their heads regularly as if they happened yesterday. All this does though is reinforce the negative emotions. Being mindful means telling yourself, “I am okay, right here, right now”. Living in the past gives those that wronged you power over you again and again. make a choice, right now, to stop allowing them the power to upset you. If you do not feel mentally strong enough to do this – get the help of a counsellor. It is possible. Being successful is far easier when we feel empowered and believe it or not, we are all capable of feeling empowered without help from anyone else.
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