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Drinking And Blacking Out


Quite often when I drink any alcohol, I black out and act strange, and have little to no MEMORY OF what happened the next day. Now I am banned from my friend’s building for breaking the glass door in and if I come around again they’ll call the cops on me and have me charged. Yet I only had (at the MOST) 3 hard (8%) beers. Could I be allergic to alcohol or do some people just respond like this? I don’t always black out if I have the same amount of alcohol, and I rather like drinking. I know for sure that I never black out on only 2 strong beers alone. What’s up? Is this physical or psychological in origin, and do you know of any way to prevent it (so that I can still drink but not black out, i.e., : eat dinner beforehand or something)? Thank you. P.S. I do not consider myself an alcoholic. I don’t drink excessive amounts, lie about my drinking or anything like that. Just these black outs are starting to get more “outrageous” and are getting me in trouble! Help!

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You don’t want to hear this, but you’ve asked, so I’m gonna tell you. Blacking out while drinking is an absolutely CLASSIC sign of ALCOHOLISM, and not minor alcoholism either, but the big league stuff. You are almost certainly addicted to alcohol in terms of physiological dependence (the formal diagnosis is “Alcohol Dependence”, or “Alcohol Abuse” and yes it is physiological and not just in your head. People with drinking problems can be expected to minimize their use of alcohol when describing it so I take what you are saying with a grain of salt figuring it is an underestimate of what you actually consumed. Even going with your statement of “3 hard (8%) beers”, this is the equivalent of a six pack of American beers, or six drinks, which is enough to make even a large man who doesn’t drink on a regular basis drunk. That you consider this to be a minimal amount suggests that you have built up a fairly considerable tolerance to alcohol and that you need a lot of it to feel its effects. This is all consistent with the idea that you are alcohol dependent. You are also minimizing your potential for violence when drunk (denial being a classic sign as well). You must have busted up your friend’s place pretty good for them to want to ban you. All in all, it’s more likely that the next Pope will be a woman than than you not being accurately described as an alcoholic.


p> You may not know this, but the majority of alcoholics are not slobbering bums sleeping on the street with a paper-bag-clad bottle in hand. The vast majority of alcoholics are people like you. Decent working people from good enough homes. People with families. People you wouldn’t expect. You’re in good company whether you know it or not.


p> You may be saying to yourself, “I’m not an alcoholic. I can quit any time”. This is true for most real alcoholics. They can quit any time. They just can’t stay quit for any length of time, and they can’t (or won’t) consume in moderation (e.g., limiting themselves to one drink only each day).


p> Do the responsible thing if you can, which is to get help for yourself so that you are not a danger to yourself or others. Getting help means:



  • Seeking out a detox facility and getting yourself sober. Going cold turkey is not recommended when someone is addicted to alcohol. You put yourself at risk of severe seizures and possibly even death if you try to come off alcohol too fast.
  • Getting involved in Alcoholic’s Anonymous. Go to a meeting. Get yourself a sponsor. Some people are too proud to go to AA. Others are concerned about AA being a religion and avoid it for that reason. These are mistakes I think. It is true that not all meetings are good for all people, however. If your first meeting doesn’t work for you, try another one.
  • If you have the resources, find a therapist who works with substance abuse and go see him or her. It is important to have support if you are to beat your addiction.

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  • Comments
    • angie

      I dont agree, i believe the guys story. ive seen my sister go into blackout alot and with her it was true, she drank way to much. i never even knew such a thing could happen till it happend to me. and i drink about twice a yr. but last time i drank i had 2 long island iced teas and dont remember the rest of the night at all. i was so scared. i didnt do anything violent or anything, i was told i had fun but not remembering or even knowing it was happening was scary. i didnt even feel a buzz from it and then next thing i know i woke up the next day wondering what happend. i am no dr of any type, just a regular person, but i think a lot of it might be not drinking enough water and when u drink alcohol it dehydrates you.

    • Sue

      I totally agree with the doctor about it being a sign of alcoholism. Back when I was in my early twenties, I used to drink a lot and began to black out a lot. I stopped drinking hard liquor at that time, because i knew it was a bad sign and I could very easily become an alcoholic if I let myself. Be a strong enough person to recognize that it's becoming a problem and dont let it. Well, now I'm forty, and I still drink. I just don't drink to excess, or all the time. Im sure if i got carried away, I would probably black out again. But I refuse to be that out of control of my life. I enjoy having drinks with friends, but always make sure I'm also drinking my fair share of water and stopping when I feel that its pointless to drink any more. If you enjoy drinking. Then stop abusing it before its too late.

    • JR

      Dr D. is absolutely right about the significance of blacking out - this is, to put it mildly, a Very Bad Sign. Anybody who blacks out with any frequency is well on the road to alcoholic disintegration, whether the blackouts are small ("what did I do with that little bottle yesterday?") or large ("what did I do yesterday?").

      As regards treatment, yes, supervised detox is indicated, in particular, in cases where one has no experience of surviving detox unsupervised. Friends of mine have come close to death through seizures because they were physically incapable of gaining immediate release from the Evil Spirit without pharmaceutical support.

      As regards "get involved in AA and get a sponsor" - yes, go to AA and, as your mind clears, make a judgement as to whether it is likely to work for you, bearing in mind its obvious religious/non-rational basis. And, believe me, the latter qualification may only come into focus after a period of clarity in absence of the Evil Spirit. If the Fellowship is not for you - consider alternatives. They are Out There - group-based and otherwise. And Do Not Get a Sponsor until you have formed a reasonable stable preliminary view - many sponsors are well-meaning, but they are typiically inexpert and partial, and their necessarily biased views on, for example, the value of 12-Step Recovery (?have you come across the concept?) may not be helpful if exerted at a very early stage.

      Dismissing those who find AA unhelpful as excessively "proud", or dismissing religious/moral/ethical objections to AA as unworthy of consideration, from a position (admitted) of partial knoledge at best, still seems irresponsible to me ...

      Best regards,


    • Dr. Know it all

      Good lord, you don't even answer the question. He asks you, a doctor for help and your response is to ignore the request, chastise him, then tell him to go get help? You immediately brand the guy an alcoholic and a liar and tell him to get help elsewhere. How could anyone take that answer seriously? You discredit your own response from the start and then proceed to champion the case for treatment groups. Answers like this one are precisely the reason that people who do need help don't go get it.

      His question is about blackouts, not whether or not you think he drinks too much. What if he had asked this question:

      "I am a raging alcoholic. Constantly I am drunk but sometimes I black out. I realize I may be dangerous when I black out and want to know if there is a way I can continue to drink, yet prevent blackouts?"

      Is your response still to blast him for being a closet alcoholic? Just tell him if there is a way to help him keep from blacking out while drinking. If there is he will probably employ it thus making your precious community safer. If there is not, then he can continue to ask questions toward finding a solution rather than just giving up for being tired of getting yelled at by the likes of you.

    • JR

      Hard to know where exactly this response to a rather old query is coming from. The original querist stated, "Quite often when I drink any alcohol, I black out and act strange, and have little or no MEMORY of what happened the next day." Well, those are blackouts all right, and the querist him/herself states a coincidence between these occurrances and the consumption of alcohol, strongly suggesting that there is a causative link. Blackouts are, as Dr Dombeck states, a classic indicator of alcoholism.

      In the circumstances, it seems strange to suggest that the querist should be advised on how he can keep from blacking out while drinking. With respect, this seems completely unrealistic. I have some experience of this. Some years ago, I began to suffer blackouts, which increased in frequency over a fairly short period. Cause ? Drinking alcohol. No argument - coincidence of drinking and blacking out was 100 per cent. I no longer suffer blackouts. Why not ? No drink. Simple. I have gained many benefits from giving up the Evil Spirit, not the least of which is having reasonable assurance that I will not wake up on any given day with no memory of what I did on the previoius one, to be told of my frequently strange, deranged and frequently obnoxious or even dangerous conduct by my long-suffering wife.

      I seriously do not believe that it is possible to persist as a practicing alcoholic who is subject to blackouts without actually having them. And there is, of course, the point that such episodes may point towards the possibility of serious brain damage if the drinking continues unabated.

      By the way - it is no comfort that the querist "knows for sure that I never black out on only 2 strong beers". I knew for sure that I was unlikely to black out if I drank "only" a quarter of a standard bottle of cognac at a sitting. That was no help on those occasions (more often than not) when I failed to resist the temptation to help the quarter bottle on its way with another quarter, or even half bottle, and perhaps a few glasses of wine into the bargain. I wonder did the querist share my problem - did he often stop at "only 2 strong beers"? Anyway, it is not just the quantity of the stuff that you need to watch, but the effect it has on the individual.

      Alcoholics do a lot of lying connected with their addiction - not least to themselves. In order to recover, we (and I do mean "we") have to tell ourselves some unpalatable truths. One of these is that whether we are talking about liver damage, brain damage, blackouts, social disfunction, or any other proven consequence of uncontrolled alcohol consumption by an individual, the only way to avoid them (or at least avoid making them worse) is to stop drinking or, if it is really practicable, to adopt an effective program of moderate consumption. (The latter idea is of course controversial, but it may work for some - not, I think, for me.)

      It is not a case of "branding" a person as an alcoholic, or "chastising" them, or "blasting them for being a "closet alcoholic". If "people who do need help" are going to "get it", they need to be told the truth, and to find the strength within themselves to recognise it as such.

      Best regards,


    • Anonymous-1


    • Rick

      Been drinking for abour 22 years, since I was about 16 years old. In the begining, just a beer or 2. During college, a lot of binge drinking, and after college til recently, a lot of social drinking. I'd say about 6 beers, plus 6 gin tonics and a few shots or... 2 bottles of wine each session. Last week, went our with a few people, enjoyed the evening taking blueberry shots and for the first time in 22 years, I blacked out completely!!! Woke up the next day with receipts in my wallet from places I don't remember going to, placed rediculous bets of "HUGE" amounts on golf!!! When I talked to the people I went out with the next day, they told me, it was a great night and I seemed to be in control of myself the whole night!! Apparently not though..... I ended up losing lots of money..... $3000.00 to be exact. I need help!!!

    • Sandy

      This happens to me too, and like the last post, it doesnt take much and I dont drink that often, and the people around me when it happens say I dont even act that bad, not that drunk, and are very surprised when I tell them I dont remember the nite, yes maybe a little tipsy but not drunk....and I get mad cuz for the most part I end up having fun hanging out with friends or whatever and I dont remember a thing or sometimes just bits and pieces, it definately bothers me to think that I may be an alchoholic which I totally disagree. But I wonder if alchohol just effects some peoples bodies differently then others, I enjoy having a few once in a while and wish that part wouldnt happen. . .

    • Rick

      It bothers me soo much!! I've been on this computer for hours and hours trying to figure out what my problems are!!! I'm not in denial! I enjoy drinking (socially), I know I sometimes drink more than I should but is there anything I can do to avoid these blackouts? Sometimes, I only have 3 or 4 glasses of wine before I start blacking out. I told my wife about the blackout and she started accusing me of possibly cheating?? I opened my heart to her and I expected support but she turns and starts accusing?? I'm very lost and would like some advise....... HELP!!

    • JR

      Hello, Rick,

      I have read both of your posts. Perhaps you might find my experience instructive. I started drinking alcohol at the grand old age of 22. I now recognise that, at the age of 25, I began drinking to excess, and continued to do so for over 20 years. The pattern varied over that time (I am pretty catholic in my tastes in drink). At the end, a typical day would involve half a bottle of cognac (often more) plus a half bottle of wine (sometimes more). For most of that period, I functioned ... adequately (though not really very well a lot of the time) in most respects. It was only in the last year of my drinking that I began to experience blackouts. My first and (to date) only instance of hallucinations occurred very shortly before I finally stopped drinking.

      Two points immediately arise. First, it may, or may not, take many years, and a lot of drinking, to establish a real pattern of blackouts. It is not the same as the odd event of drinking oneself unconscious in dorm back in college. Established susceptibility to blackouts is an individual thing. It may come early, or only after a lengthy career of drinking. Either way, it may point to a degree of damage, albeit perhaps temporary, to the functioning of your brain. The second point is that, while your drinking may be "social", the quantities you are consuming in fact appear to be considerable. Four glasses of wine constitutes a significant hit in itself. However, the quantities mentioned in your earlier post - 6 beers plus 6 spirit "chasers", plus "a few shots" at a sitting, or alternatively 2 bottles of wine, really is a lot. I was an experienced abusive drinker but, were I (restored to my full alcoholic tolerance) to put this much away over, say, 4 hours, I would not expect to be particularly sober at the end.

      Nor, in my last year, would I necessarily have remembered much about it the following day. At the end, drinking over time had simply caught up with me. Blackouts, and my instance of hallucinations, were among the signals that finally compelled me to accept that I had to stop.

      Blackouts are horrible. When we black out, we may continue to function to all appearances normally on a sort of autopilot but, even if we do, it is terrible - frightening - to have to find oneself posing sly questions to one's family, friends and colleagues the following day in order to establish what one had actually done and said, things of which one has no memory. Worse, one's normal-life autopilot may go off-line, and one may behave very badly indeed under the influence of alcohol. Trying to explain this to one's family and friends when one cannot actually remember any of it is a source of pain to all concerned. Trying to explain it to a judge (something which, thankfully, I never had to do) must be equally painful.

      But beyond the blackouts concerned - you really need to consider whether you have established an addictive pattern of drinking that is now causing significant damage to your health. It seems particularly worrying that it now seems possible for the relatively modest (though still considerable) quantity of 4 glasses of wine to trigger a blackout - this may mean that your tolerance of alcohol is actually reducing, something that can happen to established addictive drinkers.

      I do not know enough about your circumstances to know whether you are addicted to alcohol, or the extent to which drinking may be damaging your health in general. I would however urge you to consider whether you have these problems. In my case, I started on my "road back" by discussing the matter with my family doctor. If - as is distinctly possible - you do have an alcohol addiction problem, specific treatment options may need to be considered, in line with your particular needs.

      There are ways back - otherwise I might not be here to write this post. My final word would be - if it is concluded that you have a significant drink problem that is damaging your health (damage of which blackouts are a sign), the only way to deal with this may be to stop drinking altogether by whatever means prove effective for you or (more controversially) to adopt an effective program of strict moderation. This is not an easy answer, and does not suggest an easy way. But it may be the only way. And it really can be done. I am still here - and have not had a single blackout since I stopped !

      With my very best wishes to you, whatever course you decide to take,


    • Kristy

      I've been dubbed an alcoholic for about 8 years. I'm only 26. I had spent the last two months of my final year at school in hospital. It began with being admitted for attempted suicide because slowly, piece by piece I felt my perfect little world started crumbling away.

      I use to go out with my friends a lot on weekends, drinking with them, dancing with them. I was extremely popular. I then began getting into fights with other girls. In the bathrooms, outside, wherever. I considered myself a gentle person, but when I started drinking, I would be totally different. Then the blackouts.

      The first black out I remember waking up one morning, with no recollection of what happened the night before. I phoned my friend who could barely speak to me. I tried to coax her in telling me what happened and tried to explain that I had blacked out and thought someone had doctored my drink. She swore at me, called me a liar and said that I'm using it as an excuse. I was devastated...thus began a new direction in my life. A very confusing, hurtful period, where I truly believed I didn't have a problem and that because I wasn't able to see and know what I was doing, it wasn't a problem.

      The pain that it had caused each time afterwards was evident on everyone's face. My brother, my mother, my father and all my friends I had acquired at my time in that town. Each one, friends first, slowly dropped away from out of my life. But still I carried on....determined to beat the beast.

      It took about 6 months since the first true blackout for me to realise that my life was not how it had been and that there was something definitely wrong. Every-time, no matter how hard I tried to fight it, I would black out as soon as alcohol passed through my lips. To make matters worse, I would behave, according to eye witness, like a complete crazy person. I was banned from a club I use to frequent, my friends had disappeared inside and although the reason for my banishment was a lie laid on by another girl, it still never excused a lot of my other behaviour. I then, sober, realising that I didn't want to live with this problem and hurt, knowing deep down that a new course of action was going to happen in my life, knowing that I was too ashamed and too disappointed to accept this, decided to end it all, before it even began.

      I walk to the beach, stopping in at my previous employers establishment, grabbed a steak knife and a bottle of wine (for bravery). The result was that two boys on their way home found me with my shirt off (i didn't want to ruin my friends top that I had borrowed) and a steak knife in my chest. I remember each moment of it sliding in so clearly. Unfortunately at that stage for me I had missed what I was aiming for, my heart. I had failed to realise that if I wanted to do it right I would have pulled the knife out. It ended up working as a plug more than anything else.

      So after the hospital, I went home. At that stage, it wasn't clear exactly what was wrong, but something was definitely not right. My parents and brother, were extremely supportive, concerned, worried, scared...all of the mentioned and more...and finally became more attentative and more loving. Something new, but it seemed that it was not what was going to heal me.

      I'm 26 now, like mentioned in the beginning and it's been 8 years since that incident. I'm not healed still and never will be. I take medication for mild bi-polar and depression. I still can't drink without going crazy and blacking out and I can't go out with friends without feeling like an outsider. Everyone asks me all these dumb questions as to why I don't drink. Its pressure and I make up answers for each occasion, because when you tell them the truth it's something most people cant handle or understand that well. I've been to two rehabs. One I lasted the other was more like a German camp and had to get out of there. I have done things in this period that will have the hairs on a lions back stand up. Crazy stupid desperate for normality horrible things.

      I'm not sure how to feel about all of this still, but have accepted that unless I like company and people...I cant drink. This is not to say I don't feel huge anger and resentment issues to being made felt singled out with this problem. I guess I'm still hoping for a miracle. But know that none will happen. This is not a request to carry on drinking, but more a scream for help to the Gods that be, that I want to stop being reminded each and every single time that there is something terribly wrong with me. That there is a chemical imbalance in my brain taunting me that I will never be allowed to live life like everyone else. Only knowing that if I pretend to be a normal socialite like everyone else, it only causes heartache and destruction.

      I can only describe it as annoying because I don't have a control over the whole issue. I possibly will never be able to accept fully that I am an alcoholic. I don't like the name, the branding, the association, the stigma. It pisses me off.

      If anyone knows of a pill that allows a person to be able to have a sip of champagne on her wedding day or a glass of wine on a romantic picnic, without it being resulted in a nightmare waiting to unfold. Please let me know. Until then, I banish myself to a family farm in the middle of no where, with friends online and a pet chicken for company...because everything still hurts too much.

    • Anonymous-2

      I am 18 years old now and I blackout almost every single time i drink. This blacking-out almost everytime I drink has been going on since I was a 16, so its been two full years. The first time I ever blacked out was when I was 15 and the first time I started drinking was when I was 13. I have always been considered a girl who loves to go out and party and get wasted. I had that rep in high school and now in college. In September, October and November of last year I drank at least 4 times a week. I know that black outs are a huge sign of alcoholism but I don't know if I should try to find help. I am a freshman in college and I love going out and having fun. I do not want to have to stop drinking because it is a problem at the age of 18, I still have 3 more years of college ahead of me, but i will if I have to.

      I am a much friendlier and for the most part happier person when I am drunk. Even when I blackout, people usually tell me of how they had a ton of fun with me. I make a lot of friends and I usually can control myself, although this year I fell down a flight of stairs and got stitches in my chin and I don't remember any of it, not even the trip to the hospital at 3am. But the thing is I am usually not an angry out of control (in a bad way) drunk. People really do love to drink with me 98% of the time.

      Is this still a problem? Am I already an alcoholic? I just don't know what to do.

      Editor's Note: Blacking out while drinking alcohol is very suggestive of alcohol abuse or dependence which many people call alcoholism. It would be smart to drink less (so that you do not black out), at the very least, although many people have difficulty sticking to that sort of discipline. There is help for people who want to stop drinking - there is AA, of course, and then there are lots of alternatives to AA as well (since AA doesn't appeal to everyone).

    • JustMe

      I have been a drinker since 16. Initially very uneducated. One of the first times I drank, I chugged a whole bottle of Jack Daniels (750ml) in about 1 minute. I was going to sober up and drive home a few hours later.

      Needless to say, I'm lucky to be sitting here typing this. I had seizures, I hear. I think I flipped a switch in my head.

      I am now 28 and have experienced many blackouts. Some are relatively ok (I wake up in my bed without a stranger, I didn't drive, I have my wallet with money in it, keys, phone, etc.), but some are downright scary. I obviously am concerned about this. That is how I stumbled upon these posts.

      In my time, I have found that two things seem to trigger blackouts. The first is drinking on an empty stomach. The other is the speed at which we drink. I still black out. Any time I do, it is when I haven't eaten or when I start taking shots. I didn't even give it a thought for many years, but now understand that even one blackout is dangerous. I hate that my first was so extreme and due to a lack of alcohol education.

      It happened again two days ago on Mother's Day. I made a nasty scene in front of many coworkers. I hadn't eaten all day AND I took shots. I worry that I have changed the way many coworkers look at me. I also worry that I have sullied the name of my company. I am a bit of a key person at work so I can nearly get away with murder. I have this sneaky suspicion, however, that this might drop me to the end of my rope.

      Yesterday I called my Mom saying "I'm so sorry I didn't call you on Mother's Day."

      "You called me," she responded, "don't you remember?"

      I'm completely ready for this to end. I aim to attempt the controversial drink in moderation method keeping in mind what I know causes me to black out. When I do drink, I need to consciously prepare myself before I take that first drink.

      I know that I have excellent willpower (I was able to quit smoking cigarettes cold turkey about 6 months ago). I hope it's enough to counter the effects of alcohol. I realize now that if I experience another blackout, I need to get professional help.

      It starts now.

    • MH

      I definitely don't agree with the Dr.'s response that his blackouts happen because the guy is an alcoholic. That is definitely not true and I have seen people who rarely drink that would have blackout just because they drank too fast.

      I'm suggesting these two sites that will give you better information. In my case, I realized that if I wanted to avoid blackouts I should eat well before drinking, don't drink too much too fast, and definitely drink lots of water in between drinking alcohol.



    • brian

      i just blacked out last night...i kept drinking beers. i would say i drank them too fast. i was in the middle of poker at a friends bbq for the 4th and we had so we drank through straws and for some reason i was drinking them way faster than i normally would and this morning i found out by looking at cameras and the girls telling me they were dancing in their panties that i had blacked out because i didn't remember half the pictures and what not. i honestly don't think i'm that big of a drinker but it's kinda crazy for that to happen. i read that it's from drinking too fast and somewhat genetic? my dad said he used to not remember his nights too when he was still in highschool.....

    • Ang

      Like the rest of the posts I have read. I too have a considerable problem with drinking and blackouts. I have been drinking since I was 13 years old.. Always socially and always with other people. I am now 33 years old and find now more than ever that the blackouts are worse, my behavior is worse and that even though I have all of the best intentions not to drink to the point of memory loss.. I just havent figured out when enough is enough. I don't drink everyday and can go for quite sometime without even wanting a drink. The problem lies with the parties or the social gatherings when the drinks just seem to flow and I am feeling great for most of the evening an then that one drink just puts me over the edge. I have had to ask my husband many times what has happened the night before and he is getting extremely fed up with all of it. I don't consider myself an alcoholic however I do acknowledge that the amount of alcohol I consume may be excessive at times. I am one of those people who feel the moment, hear some good music and just get excited.. there you go. If anyone out there can relate.. please let me know.

    • Private

      Im 19 years old and i have been drinking since i was about 15 years old. but i noticed that when i was younger i never blacked out and i was a happy drunk and never did anything sexual and things. now that im older i am having more black outs than ever and im waking up the next day with not a single clue of what happened the night before. I find out from friends what happened and i get so embarrased. I hear things like I got naked and i messed around with a complete stranger and its really starting to scare me. Like everyone has been saying I dont consider myself an alcoholic bc i do not drink every single day or even that much but when i do it gets out of hand and I start getting violent or just do things I shouldnt. but ill go a couple weeks with out any alcohol but i get urges to drink so maybe I am. My mom and dad are both alcoholics, my dad drinks every day and mom is sort of like me ( when she does drink, its bad). so I guess im just wondering If i should try and give it up or what?

    • JR

      To the two most recent posters,

      Not an alcoholic ? Well, maybe not. There is, in any case, a surprising amount of difference as to what this label should be taken to mean, or even as to whether it is appropriate in any case. That having been said - as they say in AA, "Denial is not just a river in Egypt". Blackouts can indicate a serious problem of compulsive, excessive alcohol consumption. The fact that this may occur only from time to time - at social gatherings, for example - does not mean that this problem is not present. In fact, a "binge drinking" element of this sort may suggest that things are worse, or getting there.

      Whatever about the occasional, isolated blackout, a pattern of them may indicate a level and/or pattern of drinking that is injurious to one's brain. This may have very serious consequences over time if not arrested. Also, less obvious physical damage to vital organs may be occurring - liver damage, for example. The fact that a pattern of blackouts may have developed only after a significant period of drinking time is not reassuring - this only suggests that what may not initially have been a problem has become one, or that the problem is getting worse.

      For these reasons, and because a person courting blackouts is likely to be placing themselves, and perhaps others, in serious immediate danger (apart altogher from the matter of fear and embarrassment), anybody who has developed a pattern of blackouts should seriously and honestly review the appropriateness of their drinking pattern, and seek help in controlling it if they judge this appropriate.

      I do not wish to offend anybody by saying this. I have been there, and know that there are ways out of this problem. However, it must be addressed with open eyes before serious damage is done.

      Best regards,


    • Anonymous-3

      I think blacking out is i think very unsafe, im 17 years old, and i've been drinkin since i was 14, i have blacked out so much i dnt remeber even being a freshman and sophmore in high school, but just recently when i met a new group of freinds, i started drinkin from january till july every weekend for 2 days str8 i must have blacked out every weekend. but last weekend i blacked out, and the next day my friends told me some crazy stuff that i did, it just wuznt me, and i even got with someone in the bathroom, who by the way was like my uglyiest friend. and i never had sex b4, so it was like rape, and i wana stop so bad but it so hard to not think about what i did, and i dnt even remember it, and i think im going into a state of depression or forming some kind of mental illness

    • Anonymous-4

      I am 42 yrs old and consider myself a very functional person. I am married and have two great kids. My drinking starting out at High School just to fit in and feel comfortable meeting people. It slowly esclated as I got older and when I started having martial and financial problems, I drank more to numb my feelings.

      In the past two years I have taken my drinking to a completely different level. Just about everytime I go out, I can only remember the evening up to a certain point. My husband is so embarrassed of me and gets afraid when I do drink. I have called people that I love and close friends horrible names and fight with my husband. I end up feeling so guilty the day after and usually end up calling up my friends apologizing for my behavior. I don't think they believe that I black out, they think I use this as an excuse. I wish that were the case.

      I am very concerned about the damage I have done to not only to my brain but my liver.

      I really need to get help. I am ruining all of my relationships.

    • JR

      I was also "a very functional person" for a long time while drinking to excess. Unfortunately, this period ended - and I had no alternative, at that point, but to seek help.

      Your situation sounds horribly familiar. I would urge you not to wait until things become impossible - because it certainly looks (speaking from experience) that it may be heading that way. My first way-station on the road away from this problem was to speak candidly about my drinking to my family doctor, who was a great help. Your doctor should be in a position to help you to take the "first step" in controlling your drinking or (as, sadly, may be the case) in ending it altogether in your own interests and that of your family and friends.

      More generally, I am with Dr Dombeck on this, both in his analysis and his recommendations. Yes, even as regards AA, at least as a possible initial resource towards recovery. As you will see from contributions in other threads on Readers' Comments, and in the Community, In Here, many people (including myself) have had problems committing to the AA program which is (whatever AA may say) religious in a specific way that may not sit easily with your convictions. There are other problems as well.

      There may be alternative sources of group, or other support available to you that might suit you better. If you do opt for AA, and find it helpful to you in any way, that is good. But, if you do give AA a try, do your best to make a detached assessment of the program as it presents to you (difficult, I know - it may take a while) and decide on that basis whether it is likely to suit you in the longer term. AA is a lifelong program - Recovery, "one day at a time". Only the individual problem drinker can (and should) decide for themselves whether this specific approach is for them, at least beyond the initial period of sobriety.

      May I wish you the very best in your efforts to overcome this problem.

      Best regards,


    • sarah

      Ive always had a problem drinking ever since i was 17 now im 30 and its the same story. i dont drink to socialize i drink to get completely drunk, which that is not my intention when i start drinking it just happens that way. I black out about 95% of the time which is completely embaressing.i never remember anything i do. i call people names and most of the time i dont even know them. I have ruined every realtionship ive ever been in. Men think im absolutely nuts. Any boyfriend i ever had was embaressed to go out with me. i have fought with my family members. I also use the excuse that "someone must have put something in my drink" but i find myself using that excuse at least 3 times a week, and thats pretty sad. People always tell me im a great person when i dont drink. im drinking at least 3-4 times a week, its completely out of control. i have a really good job in healthcare. im glad i read all these comments to see im not alone. I dont wanna be a "drunk". i want a normal life, but it seems empty without alcohol and i feel i dont have any fun if im not drinking. someday i hope i can overcome this battle.

    • Anonymous-5

      all i can say is drinking is a terrible thing, ive been drinking on and off for 20 years and blacking out often. I used to be a friendly drunk but now im mean and out of controll, mostly with family members. I was given chance after chance at home and my wife finally threw me out and wants a divorce. I usually argue and call her names and try to drink anything around ,spilling liquer down my body not even able to get it to my mouth right. I have scared my stepson to death , hes seen my fall and cut my head opend and i cant even remember what i hit it on. Ive kicked in the locked bedroom door and ruined the door and jam.I find food and things aray around the house that i cant even remember moving or eating the next day.Alcohol has ruined my life im planning to go to treatment.

    • Scared

      I was in the military and drank heavily and i may have blacked out a couple of times. Recently on 2 seperate occassions about 3 weeks apart i drank liquor and i usually don't. I stick to beer but i have been gaining weight and i was told "drink liquor and you won't gain as much weight". that was a big mistake, on both occassions i blacked out and was very mean to my wife and the people around her. I do not even know what i said or did. I am now afraid to even have beer. I don't drink on a daily basis (once a week or in the above case one saturday and 3 weeks later on another saturday) but i don't want to cause this pain to my wife and destroy my marriage. If i drink beer i can have a 12 pack of a light domestic beer and i feel it but i don't fall down or black out. Honestly i am scared to lose my wife and the people that love me. Any advise would be appreciated.

    • Roz

      I am thirty seven years old. I can only say after reading some of these admissions that I am sorry, but relieved to hear I am not alone. I was searching for answers, any answers to my dilemma, I suppose in the hope for some miracle cure. Since I was fifteen years old I have made excuses lied, blamed, anything, but never looked to myself, for my outrageous behaviour whilst under the influence of alcohol. Not because I am a bad person far from it, I have a family a job a husband. When I black out with alcohol I remember nothing, all I can do is peace the puzzle together over the next days, weeks, with what ever obscure clues I have left myself, Perhaps a black eye, or food removed from the freezer and scattered around the kitchen, lost keys, lost bag,lost clothes, lost dignity. I admire the people with out this problem and aspire to be like them, but I do not know how, for I do not remember when I am not like them. I wake after a session, and nothing has changed for me, for very fact I don't know what I did, I only remember the beginning and then what people tell me! If I met me in the street I would be insulted and threatened by me. I do not know who this part of me is and why she exists Any one got any answers or do I have to find them within. This is hell on earth. I am attending AA soon but can this be an alcohol problem, well obviously yes, but why do I as an individual respond to alcohol like this where as others do not? Any feed back is welcome, I am quite literally at the end.

    • alley

      hello i am a student who maybe drinks twice a month. you can say that when i drink i dont keep it at one drink, but as soon as the night's done with i go back to my regular life of working and attending college, lately, i've been really concerned because now, i almost blackout everytime i drink. the latest was after three shots in about two hours, and i eneded up loosing my mind beating my friend and not recalling any of

    • Anonymous-6

      I've been a considerable heavy drinker the last year because of various life changes. But I don't think I'm an alcoholic because I don't need a drink to function or never began drinking before I go to work or anything like that. But this past year I experienced 3 individual black outs. I've gone crazy in all three instances. It's like someone has a remote control to my body and it is programming me to do all these senseless things. I don't feel any pain, no one can talk any sense into me, and I don't feel any shame. The next mornings most of what happened I can't remember but I can recall bits and pieces, but I wake up in the morning feeling that I did something very bad. After every blackout, I try to figure out why it happened. And I figured it out (at least for myself) that it's as a result of anger. The first time I blackedout I was with a girl and I just knew it wasn't going to work out between us and at the time I was very tired of dating, and after hours of drinking, I lost control and flipped out. Punching walls, talking to myself out loud but not really saying any clear words, and screaming. The second time I was at a party, and few people pissed me off and said some rather lousy things about me, and I went crazy again. And the third just recently happened so I won't really talk about it. Two times the blackouts has come from beer, the first from vodka. I just think it's hidden anger. And when you do finally get to your drunken state, you kind of enter another state of mind which is much more dangerous, and sometimes that the way you want yourself to seem. It's like this part of you that wants to emerge, but obviously since you're very drunk, those emotions aren't released the correct way. So next time I am extremely angry, I'm going to stop drinking, don't talk to anyone on the phone or internet or in person, and go to bed.

    • Anonymous-7

      Help, I started drinking when I was 14, and I am now 23. I keep blacking out when I am drunk and have been doing so for years now. I have fallen out with countless numbers of friends and associates over my drinking, I always make excuses and blame other people for somehow provoking or upsetting me. And then I meet new people to go out drinking with, and I feel like as long as I have someone to go out with on a friday that is what keeps me happy. I know that I am ruining my reputation and all of my friends tell me that I am a really nice person when sober. I also keep flirting outragously when I am out drinking. I think it upsets other women and they cant believe how I am acting, so often I have ended up in dangerous situations where groups of girls have tried to assault me because they think I am a slut. Its at the point now where I think the men think I am crazy and the women think I'm easy. I am at my wits end now after having yet another group of girls turn on me this weekend. The men seem to be okay, but the girls get raged with jealousy over my flirting.

    • sarah

      hi there,

      well I googled this site as on the week-end I finally came to the conclusion that this was the last straw. I am middle aged and have always been the party girl. I blacked out again and can't remember argueing with a friend and blacking out. I remember bits of the evening like getting a cab to a bar and getting cut off by the bar tender because I was too drunk. I have many a time got myself into bad situations by blacking out and most of the damage like physical damage have always been drink related. I need to stop the cycle....I have had to take time off work which I can't afford...I deeply regret anything I ever do in these circumstances as I start remembering bits and pieces of the evening. I am hard working and a caring loving person....this is just disgusting behaviour. I am still hurt and angry about certain things from the past but this self sabotage is not good and I am so mad at myself for days after. If this does not stop I will probably end up dead!?!?!!?I am so scared. I have been to AA a couple of times but just ended up getting hit on by awful men. I just think it is time to NOT have the drink in the first place as my anxiety takes over me. But I am mad as I feel I can't fit into society.

      Thanks for taking the time to read this.

    • Moe

      Being that this is my first time researching this phenomena, I came to find a discrepancy in this. I am not an alcoholic by any means if drinking on holidays and maybe two or three times a year! What I mean to say is that now I blackout everytime I drink even if it's twice or three times a year. I thought it was the mixing of the drinks but from what I've read, it seems that it's the speed of the drinking. So now that I'm not technically an "alcoholic", why does this happen?

    • Allan N. Schwartz, PhD


      Rather than worry about whether or not you are dealing with "alcoholism," I suggest and advise that you seek medical attention. Blacking out is a symptom of something. It is always better to be on the safe side with these things.

      Dr. Schwartz

    • Anonymous-8

      It seems there is a bit of a minunderstanding over what it means to be an alcoholic or even alcoholism in general. I am under the impression that anyone can be an alcoholic so long as they get an urge to drink, ever (once a day, once a week, once a year, etc...). Combine that urge with a sure tell sign of blacking out and you don't need to be a doctor to say "you should get help somewhere because you're an alcoholic".

      I think what I and most people want to know is (and maybe no real answer has been found yet) what is the middle ground for people in this situation? And if you are an "alcoholic" who drinks once a year or once a month but finds a way to control blacking out, which many people made some interesting suggestions on how to do, then is there really even any problem? It seems to me that it would be more constructive to give lessons on self control than to just tell people they need to give up alcohol forever and go find help to do it.

      I, for example, am 23 and have blacked out a few times this last year which obviously concerns me (I know I know I'm an alcoholic too!). However, nearly all of my friends drink and it is possible that if I didn't go out drinking with them I would rarely see them. It seems to me then that the cause of my "alcoholism" is not a physical urge but more of a result from social/peer pressure. Of course the typical answer to this is to find help and quit drinking and if you don't see these people anymore afterwards, they were never real friends and you'll be better off without them. This may be true (at least to some extent) but for a 23 year old who loves the time spent with friends, that kind of answer isn't going to cut it and will frankly just be ignored. I have been working on my own self control just because I didn't want to quit. It isn't easy becasue I constantly have to make the effort to stop myself, but I do it which lets me enjoy the time spent with friends and avoid the infamous black out.

      Now I don't mean to imply that there aren't obviously cases where people need to stop drinking completely and need to seek help because they are a danger to themselves and others. However, what I and many others are concerned about is reaching that middle ground between excessive drinking and quitting altogether. Compromise is the key to making any difficult situation work, but if the only advice that is going to be given to people is give up alcohol and everything associated with it altogether, well then that's just not going to help anyone.

      I think some doctors need to remember that they're dealing with people, not just a problem in a text book with a black and white answer. Here's some advice for the doctors, if you really want to give constructive answers/criticisms and help people, take these issues on a case by case basis before you start labeling people and using their questions as a stage to preach the evils of drinking.

    • Anonymous-9

      I am 37 years old and have struggled with alcohol related issues for most of my life. About 6 years ago I really pulled it together and felt as though my drinking and addiction problems were finally behind me. It would seem to everyone now that I have it very together. A beautiful 3 year old son, a successful career...It seems however that over the course of the past year, my demons have come back to haunt me. I have blacked out at least a dozen times in the past year. Most recently these occurrences have been happening in the presence of colleagues. I fear I am about to lose it all. I have woken up in bed with a stranger, brought a strange man back to my apartment, lost my wallet (had my identity stolen as a result), blacked out at a company dinner and walked out leaving everyone to wonder what had happened to me, slept with colleagues.. As I write this I realize how awful and out of control my life seems, however it does not appear that way on the surface. It has helped me to write this and I hope will help another who is struggling. Its time to get help.

    • Anonymous-10

      ok... people throw out the alcoholic stereotype way to easily. ive seen my fair share of alcoholism. I was raised by an alcoholic, i was a heavy drinker for quite some time, and im a bartender in a college town... so you do the math. there are so many factors that can make you black out you can just say "youre an alcoholic and you should quit." i dont go out to get hammered, i go out to socialize, but out of the 4 or 5 times a month i drink i black out once. ive went from... "ok, no more drinking shots" to "ok, no more drinking liquor in general" and now switched to beer. i just blacked out again drinking only beer. what ive come to find is its my own fault for not paying attention. its not because im a drunk. i have a couple drinks... then i start having fun... well i can have a couple more... then a friend walks in to the bar... well i wanna have a couple beers with them... now ive drank 7-8 beers. well after ive drank those first 2-3 in 2 hours... the next 5 or 6 are gone in 1 1/2 hours...i get too busy socializing to monitor my pace... my suggestion... look for youre cues... changes in traits/emotions, then grab a soda and let youre body catch up to what youve already drank... you may find you actually didnt want/need another drink... if youre drinking to get as wasted as possibly can or to bury youre problems though, then you might want to look for some sort of help...

    • abomb

      I recently had a monumental black out where I said things that made no sense and thought i was somewhere i was terrible....and because of it i may lose my future wife...i think the only option is to stop all together...socializing is ok...but i've gone out and had just as much fun guzzling diet a therapist and quit...thats what i'm doing

    • Sammy

      The fact that blacking out is a sign of alcoholism is simply not true. There is, of course, the corrolation, but only to the extent that alcoholics tend to drink enough to black out, not the other way around. There is an answer to the man's question, that being that some people are more susceptible to alcohol and their hippocampus simply cannot form long term memories which leads them to forget or "black out." The answer to the man's question is that he is simply more sensitive to alcohol than other people, and nothing in his statement indicated whether or not he was an alcoholic. I hope he looked for a real answer before attending his first AA meeting.

      Thank you.

    • Eoin

      i am drinking like a mad thing.

      i live in ireland so im very sure nobody i know would read this.

      I am 22 and have been drinkin since i was 16, i used to do crazy things when i was on the booze so i stopped when i was 19 for a few months, then when i was 20 i started drinkin again, I have blackouts, i ruined my friends wedding because i went lunatic at a load of kids threatening to cut their heads off, this is only one thing i have done. there are plenty of other incidents, i start fights, end up with criminal convictions, but when im sober i am a good person and am ashamed at what i do, its hard to give up the drink because in irish culture its the thing to do at the weekend, my parents constantly remind me of all the bad things i have done which annoys me because they know i am 100% ashamed of my actions. This has strained our relationship because even though i have taken the blame, they refuse to forget about it and will throw it in my face even if we are arguing over somethin completely unrelated. This just makes it worse, as i dont see them as support, i see them as enemies, and right now i want i drink and then a confrontation, i feel like an ejit, dont know what to do, where to start and where it will end.

    • will

      it's so nice to read all this and see how others have similar problems.

      I'm 29, and started drinking in my late high school years. For a while I would drink almost everyday, I have cut down on frequency lately, but I still black out most of the time I drink. I often lose my temper and turn violent and antagonistic when I drink, and that seems to have gotten worse lately. I blacked out a few weeks ago and punched my fiance's friend's date in the face, just last night I trashed a car in our parking lot because he was in the spot I like.

      I've never thought of myself as having a problem. I guess by having friends that drink the same way, we always forgave each other and understood it's alcohol. But as I recently moved to a new city and am meeting new people, people are really upset by my behavior.

      It's only after reading everyone's posts I'm starting to realize I have a problem. I'm not sure how to fix it. I don't think I can avoid alcohol altogether, but knowing how to stop is something I need to learn. I also wonder if there are pent up issues that explode when I'm drunk, and I should work to isolate and resolve those issues.

      I really don't know why I think it's ok. I have always shamelessly shrugged off my drunk idiotic moments in the past, I seem to be more proud of them than anything - carrying these stories like trophies around my neck. But recently, I've started being ashamed of these outbursts. Every since I moved out of the city and stopped hanging around my old friends. I want to stop. Thanks for helping me realize my problem.

    • anon

      My boyfriend is a binge drinker whose personality changes completely when he drinks that extra drink. he becomes bitter, very angry, depressed, and lately, abusive. he is also having blackouts. it is impossible for both of us to predict what will happen when we go out on a normal weeked night out. it all starts normally and it is all fun, untill suddenly his mood changes, his whole gait and speech changes and he becomes a Mr Hyde.

      When I met my boyfriend 3 ago, he was the kind of man who wouldn't drink more than a can or two of light beer. most of the time he would stick to a soda. he admitted he was an alcoholic in his twenties and had been clean for 6 yrs. during our first year, he passed through some serious personal problems and his alcohol problem started again. he would change from a man whom i can have a decent chat with, to a man with staggering gait, slurred speech and bitter depressive talking. Many a time i had to walk away from him bcause his words and behaviour got too much to handle. the next day he wouldnt recall doing it and i thought he was denying any memory as it made him feel less guilty and ashamed. he promised he wouldn't drink excessively and in fact, he stopped drinking wine and spirits. for a while we thought the problem had gone and things were better.

      this last year, his probem got worse. he only drank beer, no spirits or wine. he attacked me three times over the last year, strangling me.

      the last one happened on our holiday abroad. i was scared and felt very vulnerable as i couldnt fight him off. it was like i was dealing with a completely different man, an evil man whom i didnt know. when he looked at me while hurting me, his eyes were blank and that terrified me. yet a part of his brain was still functioning because i remember him telling me that he will claim insanity if he hurt me badly. it was like living in a nightmare.

      the next day he woke up and he had no recollection at all of what had happened the previous night. when i told him, he was very sad and ashamed. at first he thought i was blowing it up but i showed him my bruises and he started believing me. We had a good talk over the last week since we returned from the holiday and i made it clear to him that this problem is getting out of hand and im leaving him if he doesnt seek serious help. it takes a man to admit he needs help from professionals. he said he will go to AA. then the following day he changed his mind again and said he will do it on his own because he does not perceive himself as an alcoholic since he drinks once a week. but the bingeing is the problem. his problem is that he doesnt know when to stop and he's been having many blackouts lately. Also, both his parents were alcoholics. his father died of liver disease!

      his support helped me get over my drug addiction three years ago. i want to help him too, even if this means that i wont be drinking alcohol in his company when we go out. alcohol is everywhere around us and it is so hard to refrain from drinking when you see everyone doing it normally and happily! How can I help? Should I just leave and put the past behind me?

    • Anonymous-11

      Although many alcoholics 'black out,' you are not automatically an alcoholic just because you black out. In fact, many social drinkers experience that unfortunate side effect of drinking. That's not an opinion that's a fact. Blacking out is often used as a 'good indication of alcoholism' simply because a lot of alcoholics black out. But the doc's response was exaggerated to say the least. Study up, doc. However, what I will say is the fact that you are prone to blacking out clearly means you should curb your does the fact that you clearly do dumb things when you get drunk. So just smarten up and stay away from the booze. It doesn't mean that you need to check into AA and be careful to avoid seizures. Come on, doc - that's ridiculous. You can't come up with that diagnosis based on someone simply blacking out.

    • Not a doctor but stayed at holiday inn express

      The truth of all these stories lies in the middle. There may be other causes to blackouts other than alcohol abuse. I have blacked out 3 times in my life.

      The first time, I was 21. I had two beers. Thats it. HOWEVER, the beginning of that same morning, I had just finished taking my last pain pill. I believe that the drug was still in my system and caused me to blackout. I dont remember much about that night. I apparently went swimming. went to a party. hooked up with my girlfriend. Everyone around me had no idea.

      Second time. I had a seizure. No drinking involved. Grand Mal Seizure. I count this is one of those times I blacked out. (Of course this could explain possible other episodes as well)

      Third time. This was most certainly related to alcohol. Drank too much wine. I wont lie. Excessive. Though I dont remember drinking anything more than 3 glasses of wine over 3 hours. (I ended up drinking a bottle and half). This time, no medication.

      Why am I giving the history. People can blackout for different reasons. Do you take medications? Do you have history of seizures or other health issues? I mean the doctor probably has a point in that alcoholics will lie about their consumption and minimize the damage they are doing. However, painting this person with that broad brush is obviously the wrong approach. Would the good doctor say the same thing to a patient? Or most likely, probably asked more probing questions before coming to a conclusion.

    • Emma

      My name is Emma, I am 18 and have been drinking at least twice a week since the age of 15. When I drink I have fun, I don't drink socially I just drink to get drunk but I rarely black-out. Got alcohol poisoning once. It was a wake-up call. WOOOOOTTTT PARTAYYY

    • Anonymous-12

      Hello everyone. I have read every one of your stories and I know the pain each of you feel. Like many of you I come from a great family background and very religious. I also am successful school wise I graduated as a doctor this past May, I know I am a good person. However, I also have experienced blackouts in my life, 40 to be exact. I know exactly how many because each has been a scar in my life. I never drank purposely to become drunk. I was just like everyone else drinking socially but at times would blackout and never know the reason why. It would always just happen some weekends and events I can drink more some days than other days and it would always be a surprise to me when I would blackout and wake up the next morning not knowing what happened. I would hear stories about myself that I would never expect myself to do. I finally hit rock bottom this past winter and ended up with many bad things happening to me one night effecting my health, and social life. I have so much anxiety from the past and what people know about me that I don't even know about myself. I have been praying to God for healing of my mind and body but really haven't gotten an answer yet. I guess thats where faith comes to play I will let you guys know if things get better. Trust me I know how all you guys feel it sucks because I know a lot of people that drink just as much as me get drunk however don't blackout or get into trouble. It sucks because it really has ruined my life.

    • Hindsight

      Hello all,

      As I read these post's I can relate to most. I started drinking when I was around 12, both of my parents were blue collar working people that liked to party a couple times a month. I have gone back and forth all my adult life, the military was a good place to hone in the drinking skill and college afterwards made me a medalist. I have a few personalities that come out when I drink one is very fun, the life of the party and extremely charismatic, the next is very deep and smart, has a knowledge of history that when I'm sober I couldn't dream of a working lexicon that would impress a scholar and knows things that I don't, and lastly the monster, this guy is a mixture of the other two and yet really mean, loves to fight verbally or physically, loves to chase women and has no conscience while working. I have blacked out during all of these personalities. Sometimes it only takes a couple drinks and I switch sometimes I can consume bottles of alcohol and not ever black out. I am a binge drinker as I will go months without a drink then all of a sudden start drinking and have the ability to drink days on end. More alcohol than should be humanly possible. I have done aweful things that I am ashamed of but its different than If i was there to witness it. I like the country/city guy also wear some things like badges. I think I am an alcoholic but then when I finally come to that decision I just dont drink not for months sometimes years.. Then something happens, a new girlfriend or an old friend, starts with lets just go shoot some pool or its a bbq I will watch ya don't stress, and maybe that time I dont do anything wrong or maybe that time I beat up the home owner and sleep with his wife. I have an added trait of noone knows I am drunk, if my cheeks didn't turn red I would have no tells, No loss of mechanics no slurred speech and never tired. I went to a few AA meetings and thought what a bunch of losers grow up where is your will-power? I hated the stories and thought less of the people, I could not think of standing up and telling them my story. I am Irish and French we drink thats the way of it. But as I'm getting older and older I'm starting to wonder will I ever grow out of this? I am in public safety, I go to school, I have a lady friend, I have a real life, then I have a seperate life, and the second life is going to ultimately cost me the first I think.

      I heard there is a pill you can take that makes you sick whenever you drink, I am seriously considering taking it.

      Either way there is my rant sorry for the longevity and good luck to all others in my situation.




    • Dr. Albert Juarez

      You must understand that if you are asking a question on a mental help website you are going to get cautious answers from the physicians. Their job is to be cautious.

      If you blackout when you drink, you are normal. Some people black out more often than others but everyone who drinks socially will black out when they have 1 drink too many. There are too many factors to determine if you are an alcoholic.

      If you think you have a problem you probably do. If others are telling you have one you probably do.

    • Anonymous-13

      Recently after a night out with coworkers and a heavy night of drinking I experienced a blackout. Not a total blackout but the night is incredibly spotty after a certain point. I don't drink very often and I know that it happened because I drank too much too fast. Not to mention mixing wine and hard alcohol. I know that I didn't do or say anything over the line but I still feel remorse and regret over the incident. In the future I will not mix and will slow down the speed in which I drink it. I'm am very happy that things did not go sideways on me and I made it back to my hotel room safely and without incident.

    • ashley

      I as well black out, generally only when i drink vodka. some nites are spotty and others i cant remember a single thing. people joke and call me an alcoholic and i get offended cuz i know im not. i get wasted like 2-3 times a week sometimes only once/wk. i work full time and still take care of my 2 kids as a single mother. i think people should mind their biz!

    • Danielle

      I wish there was a doctor who would just have a cure for all of us who have this problem. I don't understand why some people can drink more then others. Some say that if you black out you have hurt cells in your brain that make you constantly black out after drinking because of the chemicals. There needs to be an accurate diagnosis to not just say "stop drinking because you have alcoholism" no. That does not help us because we love to drink but no matter what we do, we drink and we black out. I am 19 years old and have had so many troubles in my life already from blacking out but no one understands why it happens. I wish I could explain why it happens or stop myself from doing it but I can't. There is no college experience when you black out and while not remembering you sleep with guys, hook up with guys girlfriends, or just say harsh grueling things. I have a angle/devil night/day reaction to alcohol. I want to stop blacking out but I wish I could still drink without reaching that point. A cure needs to be found.

    • Anonymous-14

      I read as much as i could before i started skimming and skipping posts but i cant find my answer.

      I am 18 and have been drinking for about for years now. i used to never black out until the first time last year when i mixed with an anxiety pill called xanex. i then blacked out everytime i mixed and immidietly stopped mixing xanex with drinking. The black outs stopped. Then i began messing around with painkillers and understood that those also caused me to black out. I know drinking and pills are bad but everytime i mixed it was while i was already drunk when i made the decision to do so. Now i do not mix ever i only mix liquors (wine with beer or liquor or all together) and the blackouts are becoming a more often thing for me. I act completely sloppy and say and do things that are very embarrasing and completely change the way people look at me. When i wake up in the morning i won't even know that i blacked out and i wouldn't know if it wasnt for someone telling me the events that happened the night before. I never get violent in my black outs and rarely argue with people i just become EXTREMELY sloppy, strange, and an extreme case of "word vomet".

      Also every single time i drink now, i am always very sick to my stomach the next day. I will throw up stomach acid all the time even if i have something to eat right before i fall asleep. Sometimes i see reddish spots or bloches that i think are blood. I will be sick all day no matter what i drink the night before.

      My last black out which was 2 days ago, i had a full dinner and only had 6 regular beers.

      I am always sure to eat good before i start to drink and some nights i pace me drinks very well. I do Binge drink atleast once a week. Lately i have only been drinking once a week just because of how sick i get or how embarrasing the black out was i dont even want to show my face. I do enjoy drinking when i don't black out because i can actually somewhat control myself.

    • lt

      hi, my first major blackout was after i returned from a 2 wk holiday 8 yrs ago and had a bottle of wine on a night out with my friend, we changed bars then had a vodka and an absynthe, i remember chatting to some guys near the bar then they shared a taxi with us to another bar, i remember nothing from this point onward, i got a lift back home by the police who dropped me at the end of my street i had no money and no phone i called at my friends house to see if she had made it home and she hadnt, her parents got my parents round and they rang my friend she was in a club and had met some other friends. her dad picked her up and my parents were questioning me but all i knew was some important people dropped me off, my dad rang the police and were told i was found wandering in the city centre, when my friend got in she had my money and phone and told me i couldnt sit down in the taxi as i was wobbling everywhere, we got out and i slapped her (not hard) apparantly, i had a vauge recolection that i was sitting in a room with concrete walls (possibly a police station and possibly trying to remember my address) i had never heard of blackouts from alcohol before and thought maybe my drink had been spiked. i was so embarrassed to go to the city centre incase anyone saw me and remembered me, i wish i'd have asked the police what had happened, they never charged me. i have had many more blackouts not as bad but the next day i always have the feeling i have done something silly even if i have been ok. i think alcohol effects me more if i'm excited for a night out or havent eaten. i only drink maybe twice a month and sometimes i can be fine i dont drink in the house either. i find my behaiviour depends on who i'm out with and find with one couple in particular i always end up crying. i am due to go to a halloween party next week and instead of letting myself get too excited i am going to mentally prepre myself and drink small vodka to large coke measures and have a glass of water every hour! i am also going to eat plenty. i find if i dont prepare myself the excitement makes me forget my head and i just think ooh lets play a drinking game and lets do shots!

      my friends drink the same as me and dont have memory loss!

    • Celeste

      im seventeen years old. thats it. 17. i used to smoke a lot of weed and not drink but recently (about two months ago) i stopped smoking and have been drinking more than i had previously. ive never liked to drink, its always made me feel so sick and i always get soooooo drunk off of maybe one or two shots. i always attributed it to my size (im only 110 lbs.) and just thought that i was a really big lightweight. Every time ive drank, ive blacked out. and ive only been drinking for a little less than a year. I want to make one thing clear to all of you. I am not an alcoholic. you may say that blacking out is a sign of alcoholism, and i agree, but its because if you are an alcoholic you drink until you black out. i also wouldnt lie to you about how much or how often i drink because i dont know any of you and i wouldnt care AT ALL what any of you thought. i literally probably drink only twice a month and, like i said, i only take from two to five shots (maximum) over a period of hours and hours. Recently ive been very violent when i black out and i have absolutely no recollection of it. last night i was at a halloween party and my boyfriend was djing. i had a total of five shots over a period of four hours and all of a sudden i reach a point in my memory where i just dont remember what happened. apparently i was hitting him, telling him i hated him and trying to drive away from my house in his car. i was talking to my mom about it this morning and she thinks it could be an allergy to alcohol because my grandmother used to have the same symptoms that i am experiencing now. also, i dont know if this has any real relevance, but i have Native American blood in me and ive read things that said a lot of Native Americans have allergies to alcohol. Does anyone know this to be true? some help would be great.

    • Gdubbs

      I thought i was the only one that did this. I have been drinking since i was around 13 or 14.. I weigh 185 pounds and am 6'2". Around half of the times i drink i end up blacking out. i cant tell you how many bars i have been kicked out of. Like some other of the comments i seem to have worn the stories almost like trophies. but that is such a bad idea. i would say that im pretty sure these "black outs" are the cause of my ex fieance / baby momma breaking up with me. for some reason when i black out i always do the things i would NEVER do when im sober. i yell at the people i love most. i call them names i would never call them if i was sober. and i all around act like a total douche bag. i have been doing it for around 8 years. and it has gotten to the point that all my ex's friends think i am a total prick that treats her like shit. when the truth is totally opposite. it got to the point that my ex would lie to me about what she was doing so i woulnt come out with her and embarras her. I dont drink that often...(maybe 4 or 5 times a month at best) and i just dont know how to fix the problem. i dont want to stop drinking all together. it has ruined my life.

    • Unknown

      i can't count the amount of times i've blacked out most recently i blacked out in a bar and walked around like i was queen of it, acting like i was better then everyone, started a fight with a random, got my sister punched in the face by the person i was yelling at and ended up trying to fight the entire bar including my friends on top of that almost got banned from every bar in town and charged and then on my way home tried yelling at some police that were in the car beside me.... Lord knows what else these are just the horrible stories i had to wake up and hear. Alcohol has been a problem for me for a long time getting in the way of relationships and friendships. I want it to end! For everyone who likes to have a drink with friends, wine with your significant other and special drinks for special occasions, if you have the same problems as me i think we have to look and see if it's really worth it to keep drinking. I regret every time everything that's happened when i black out it is the complete opposite of how i would ever act sober and i wonder..... Why would i act that way drunk???????

    • Anonymous-15

      I have blacked out so many times and have ruined so many relationships over this. Its like I become this person who thinks is untouchable and I think I am better then others and I guess I say hurtful things, pick a fight and sometimes I even want to hit people and I am not like this sober- this angry person. I went out with a guy sat that I liked and I blacked out and he will not return my calls to tell me what I did or said . I can't begin to tell you how this destoys my life and I only drink maybe twice a month.

    • Otherwise responsible

      I am 27 years old. I have a pretty serious and stressful job in public safety. I'm married and I just don't understand how she stays with me.... In high school, I drank, but I was big into drugs. I did cocaine, lots of ketamine, acid, mushrooms, ecstacy. When I met my wife in college, she discovered my addictions and simply told me that she was "disappointed" in me. No one had ever said anything like that to me. I come from a long line of "functioning" blue collar alcoholics and addicts. I didn't want to be like them and I didn't want the woman, who is now my wife, to be disappointed. I stopped drugs, with an occasional relapse for a day... and I have been drug free for about 6 years now. I started drinking in college, I lived in an off campus frat house and I learned to drink. I drank alot.... My wife isn't much of a drinker... So as college ended and my career began to take off... my drinking dwindled... but on my nights off, I'd drink. A six pack is what I'd call an opener. When I'd meet up with friends socially, they'd talk about how I'm an animal. I was so fun... so crazy so whacky so charismatic. I minimized to drinking socially because my wife didn't like coming home to me drunk on my days off. I don't need to drink every day. But when I do drink.... I always think "Oh yeah I only had 3 beers....a 6 shots... oh and a mojito... oh and a scorpion bowl..." The first time I blacked out was a little over a year ago. I felt so guilty and sad afterwards... I can still remember the sounds of attempting to walk home and how cold it was... but visuallly, nothing... My wife told me that she stripped me down naked and forced me into the shower... I then crawled around the house naked and kept trying to crawl outside but couldn't figure out how to use a door knob, laughing and screaming. I woke up naked on my couch with no idea what happened. I only know what she told me. I blacked out again a month later at our joint birthday party. And since then... numerous times.... Sometimes hearing that I got sad and emotional and sometimes hearing that I was an asshole and mean and angry and violent. No recollection whatsoever. I remember thinking that people were lying when they couldn't remember what they did the night before.... now I know that it is the truth and one of the scariest and most unsettling things ever. I've blacked out numerous times and most recently, have lost one of my best friends because of it. Again, this person told me that she was disappointed.... My marriage is on the rocks... and no one knew or wanted to say anything.... My wife has finally told me the horrible things that I say to her when it happens... things that I would NEVER EVER SAY sober. All of this is overwhelming... and I'm realizing... that you don't have to drink every day to be an alcoholic. If you drink and you black out and you hurt people who care about you... there is a problem. I have my first AA meeting tomorrow when I get off duty. I'm nervous and unsure of what to expect... a friend of mine who's been dealing with this for awhile is bringing me along and I'm hopeful to get my life back together... I don't know that I am able to give up drinking all together... yet. But I do need to learn when to stop and how to control myself before I blackout again... I think eventually I will need to go cold turkey but I'm hoping that AA's foundation with Smart Recovery can help me out. It's reassuring to know that I'm not alone in this.

    • sarah

      I have been a heighyweight since I first started drinking. I use to be about to have 8 to 10 shots and remember everything. I do not think that was smart on my part but what is done is done. I chose to decrease my intake to 5-7 shots. Lately after only 5 shots I blackout. Not always, but quite frequently. I have been recently diagnosed with fibromyalgia, which is flaring up. (the flaring up is the really I seeked help and got diagnosed about a month ago- but the symptoms have been there for a few years now) I can't say the transition from me being a heighyweight to a lightweight is due to this, but they did start around the same time. And I don't want to here it's me being an alcoholic because I have read so many other articles that have states that a major symptom of being an alcoholic is gaining a tolerance to alcohol. So, loosing your tolerance means you an alcohol to Dr?? How does that make any sense?? Is it my body growing intolerant because my immune system is fighting it an allergy? or is it related to my fibromyalgia.. I just want a straight forward answer. every site says something different! ??????????????

    • Allan N. Schwartz, PhD


      I have answered this question under the section called "Reader Questions." I hope the explanation will be helpful. Briefly, here, blackouts are a warning sign that you are drinking too much and that you could be on the way to causing you to harm yourself. You really need to stop drinking and get help now.

      Dr. Schwartz

    • robyn

      i dont know if anyone else does this but ive been addicted to xanax for 7 years i just recently started mixing it with alcohol i love blacking out i sleep great i know im an addict i figured it out this past may well my friend enlightened me. i steal money beer and other things to support my habit i dont want to quit so wtf should i do and how is this affecting my health? i get the shakes and i go through some bad withdrawls.. im at a crossroad in my life... and im talking a lot of nonsense.. lol bye! im drunk now lmao.

    • Brandie

      I hate that anyone with problems concerning what happens to them while drinking is automatically labeled and alcoholic or 'in denial'. This poster asked legitamete questions and it seems they were entirely skipped over, and he's just an alcoholic.

      I've never been much of a drinker, I drink 2 maybe 3 times a YEAR. I'm 33, 5'5" and am 140 lbs and yet no matter what or how little I drink I blackout. I don't mix liquors, if I drink beer I stay with beer. I drink slow and never have more than 2 or 3 drinks the entire night. I can't see how I could possibly be an alcoholic, some may say a low tolerance is too blame, but seriously I don't see how a person could blackout EVERY single time after only 3 beers,without something else going on inside their brain or body.

    • normal person

      I have had several blackouts. Some when only drinking 2 mix drinks, or just 2 shots or times I have had a lot to drink. I never know when they will happen and I usually dont remeber a thing. Occassionally I will remember bits and pieces. But from what I remember it's like I was not thinking for myself or in control. It's like you were not even there. I am a 32 year old 5'0 and 100 pounds.. mother,wife and noraml everday person who does not do drugs or act crazy. This starting happening about 9 years ago. I was about 24. I've only had the blackouts several times. It really bothers me when people say, you know what you were doing and you're controlling your actions! I would never act or talk the way I do when the backout happen! I've been kicked out of places for trying to fight random people, guys, girls whoever. I started fights had my nose busted and dont remeber a thing except coming back to reality and be bleeding. I've cussed and threw things at my closet friends that I would never do normally. I would never even think about cussing them or hurting them. It is really scarey. My last episode I jumped out of the car threw huge rocks at my own car and ran 2 miles and dont remember. It seems no matter what I do when I get that way I find something or someone to turn my rage on. My friends and family like to drink and none of them have these psycho episodes. I wish I knew why! I'm not glad to see others have been through this but it is a relief to know I'm not the only one. Because everyone around me thinks I'm crazy!

    • Anonymous-16

      i am 21 i am bipolar and have a bad anxiety disorder. i had my first drink at 11 years old but didnt start drinking alot and regularly till i was 14 and i started doing drugs. i can admit now i used to have a severe alcohol problem as i went to a mental health rehab for 4 months recently and i was hospitalised for a week and a half with a damaged liver, tummy lining and gastric tubes. i still drank and did drugs slyly then but no where near as much. however ive come out of rehab and i think its starting to get bad again. everyones noticed it for a while but im only starting to but i refuse to admit (like i used to years ago)..its hurting everyone around me, im hiding bottles and cans, i feel ashamed and guilty that i feel i have to do these things and how its affecting everyone else but it takes away my inner pain (self medicating).. eventho i am on medication - lithium and pregabalin. i drink every day in the afternoon. i used to drink as soon as i woke up. but i am writing today cus im already thinking of having a bottle of wine this afternoon before going out tonight drinking with my boyfriend and his family. everything i do revolves around drink and drugs. and i feel like if im intoxicated that i can feel normal like everyone else and be more interesting and fun and not have my mood swings and panic attacks..sometimes it works, othertimes it gets ALOT worse. even the guy at the till at my nearest shop mentions about me gettin alcohol sometimes. sigh.. im battling myself constantly and it wears me out and tears me apart. if it wasnt for everyone else i wouldnt even see a problem with the way i am..alcoholism and drug addiction runs in my dads side of the family.. literally everyone! i also have hospital next week because i have a respitory disease and some people have said that alcohol can cause problems in your lungs. ive also been in trouble alot with my police and kicked out of nightclubs because of violent drunk behaviour or sexual drunk behaviour. i nearly smashed a bottle of my boyfriends head not long ago but lukily my dad was round to pick me up and stop me. even when i know i have alcohol in the fridge it makes me smile and i feel happy cause i know its escaping reality and my emotions (most the time).. i really dont want to get paraletic tonight but im anxious about it and ill just freeze and panic and probably run off somewhere and get lost unless i get drunk.. but once i start i cant stop. i want to maintain the feeling as long as possible or even get it better and better and more intense without being a mess!

    • bob

      I'm 41 years old & have been drinking since the age of 15. Socially.. & sporadically but when I do drink, I drink. I worked in nightclubs & bars fror over a decade & have NEVER had any issues with drinking & blacking out until now. Except for one time when I took a Rohypnol & drank. That was 20 years ago & never did it again. Now at the age of 41, twice in the past month I have completely blacked out & found myself in trouble both times. The first time I was in New Orleans & wandered out of the club my friends & I were at. Don't remember leaving but came to about 3 miles and a few hours away in a very bad neighborhood.. just wandering no idea where I was or what I had been doing. Made it back to my truck in one piece with a busted cell phone & busted up knee. Friends were worried as hell because I just disappeared.

      2nd time I was not so lucky. I was at a nightclub, again with friends.. & again was perfectly fine one min, the next.. it was 3 hours later & I was sitting on a bridge with my truck totaled & another jepp flipped over on it's side. Luckily I walked away without a scratch (although with a 1st DUI) & the other people were unhurt as well. I didn't hit them but they had to swerve to avoid me. No memory whatsoever about paying my tab, leaving the bar, getting into my truck & driving. None. Again my friends were just like.. one min you were sitting right next to us.. then *poof*

      Both of these times I was drinking moderaterly but no where near my usual & past thresh hold. I have drank 2-3 times more than this often & have never blacked out ever. I don't drink all the time & sometimes go a month or more without drinking. I don't "need" to drink but I like to have fu when I do. Blacking out is not fun to me. So, until I find out a reason why I will not drink anymore. It's scary.

    • Alcohol positive

      hello i m 27 and today , i woke up feeling weird of how the hell i came home and how did i end up naked in my bed ... the day before started by i having lunch in a restaurent while they had an open bar and i drank like two bottles of wine (one white and other red )and i was with my mother and brothers there and i was completly kinda sober ( i mean not drunk yet ) , when we left the place we went by to visit my grandfather and i dicided to drink a glass of whiskey with him and watch a movie, i recall playing that dvd and from that moment on i don t remember anything at all... i asked my mother about it and there it was guilt ,i don t remember a thing i cursed everyone there showed little violence and said many bad stuff to my family, i ate a pizza, i fell so many times i texted some friend and wanted to go for a vacation ... this fact shocked me because this happened so fast that i didn t feel it coming i mean i didn t have a booz yet and suddenly i went from completely sober to black out ... i add also that i thought i drank only one glass of whiskey but the truth is that i drank half a bottle unconsiously... they told that i spoked funny and that my body was shaking and i couldn t move... i hope i will never have this experience again and that left me wondering of how should someone control his drinking , cause it s hard to be aliving zombie walking around while your true mind is shut off , this made me question the very existence of a soul because without your brain you are nobody not even an animal !!!!

      you know i should decrease my drinking habit and count every drink i drink hopefully this won t happen again ... but it will be hard cause there s always that line you need to know when not to cross cause little booz brings more booz , more booz you will end up passing out or worse blacked out ....

      i think also drinking fast and on an empty stomach would make you black out fast ...

    • Anonymous-17

      I am 23 years old and have been drinking since I was 16. This weekend my parents drove 11 hours to come see my new home and I was very excited you might say a little to excited. As the night progressed from beer to shots of jager it was fun... untill I blacked out and we just so happened to be at my fiances place of employment. I ended up trying to fight one of his co workers and was yelling out a bunch of racists stuff.. the more and more people that yried to calm me down.. I just turned more mad. Cursing out my family that Ihhaven't seen in almost a year cussing out my fiance and his managers. things were bad I fell countless times walking home. Ruining my knees and legs they were full of blood and the cops were almost called. I almost feel like committing suicide thats how ashamed and embarrassed I feel, but instead im going to stand tall just like you all should.. our blood just like Native Americans blood simply cant take the alchol and its not something to be ashamed of but rather learn from this. You might want alcohol but you dont need it.. I bet we'll find we are a lot happier without it.. I love to drink who doesn't but if it makes you become someone you hate DONT DO IT. I know easier than said. trust me I know exactly how you all feel but just remember stand tall your not the only one#

    • Stephanie Nadine Kjaerbaek

      For my ex-boyfriend and every British man I ever met, fifty beers would be warming up before the late-night heavy drinking really began. The bar with its mixed double drinks was an appetizer, the beer was the chaser with the main course of vodka, whiskey, amaretto, and Sourpuss, and dessert was Bailey's or amaretto, by the 40 oz. bottle, of course, and this was three nights a week plus weekends. The schedule was predetermined, no drinking on Mondays or Fridays, (beginning of work week and end of work week-Al had to sleep sometime).

    • Simon

      I would like to also add my story. I am 30 years old, have a young family and well paid job yet I find the need to drink heavily at the weekends. Most times it ends well apart from a huge hangover but on occassion and including last Friday it doesn't. I was invite buy some friends to try a new bar with long happy hour so we could in effect 'party'. Playing pool and sinking pint after pint the night was all in good humour and everyone enjoyed themsleves, that's where I blackout with my next recolation being in the middle of a fight with blood pouring down my nose. Having spoke to my friends afterwards it was like a switch in my head had turned and I was out to spit victrial in everyones faces ending up with my being, quite rightly, hit.

      Coming home to my loving family this is a complete embarrassment and I have promised to stop it but I love drinking with my pals and this would really impact my life....what else can I do?

    • Anonymous-18

      I am almost 55 years old. I started drinking a little when I was 12 and progressed from there. My tolerance built up and I could usually really put it away. On one evening, a couple years ago, for example, I drank 42 rum and coke in one sitting. The bartender was amazed that I did not even seem to be affected. The only clue of what was to come happened a few years before that.

      I was taking diet medication, (Adipex). On this one evening, in particular, I was invited out to see friends that I had not seen in years. When I got to the bar, the bar owner was not there and a "friend" was helping his girlfriend tend bar. He kept making my drinks a little stronger, each time. To stay awake, I took another Adipex and did that two more times, that evening. There was an individual that had been aggravating me for months and he was there. He was, again, demonsrtating this behavior that irritated the hell out of me. I remember thinking how much I would like to throw this guy through the front window.

      The next thing I knew, I was finishing what I could only call a roar and my ex and this friend were holding me back, saying that I did not want to do this. Do what? I looked around and everyone had given me a wide berth. At the other end of the open area was a heavy chrome steel bar stool, lying on its side. Apparently, without warning, I had reached over and, with one arm, lifted the stool (and its 160 lb occupant) off of the ground, shook the rider of the stool off and threw the stool across the bar. Thank God that I did not hurt anyone!

      Things had been quiet, in that regard, since... until lately. I am not sure if what is going on is exacerbated by Adderall, for ADD, or by testorone injections for low T. But, if I am already in an anxious or irritable mood, it only takes a couple of drinks before I go into a rant. At first, I would remember most of it. This last time, I remember trying to convince my spouse that we needed to go to this biker bar to "kick ass". She delayed things as she could and I got frustrated and angry. She hid from me. That is what she told me. I don't remember. I also don't remember how I broke a few things, and almost my knuckles, and how kitchen knives got thrown around the house. I have some deep scratches on a forearm and a thigh. A broken chair apparently yielded a wooden wedge that could have been the tool that did that.

      I had to ask myself, what next? I am going to seriously hurt myself or someone else and wake the next day to find someone or myself dead? I cannot risk that. I have to admit, for whatever reason this is happening, that I can no longer drink. I seem to be okay with an occasional glass of wine or champ, for special occasions, and when I am really watching myself. But, aside from those rare occasions, the days of beer and hard alcohol are gone. I realize, by the very definition, I am one of those functioning alcoholics that were described in the opening post.

    • Anonymous-19

      I have been blacking out loads lately and drinking the same amount i always have its scary i have started to take anti-depessants and it is getting really bad the doctor told me I could drink in moderation. I have had a fight with my best friend and went for my sister in law this isnt like me. It has scared the s**t out of me. It is like someone has taken over my body. I enjoy a drink have a stable professional job but I am horrifed at my recent action!!!!!!

    • shay

      I am in my 30's. I started drinking to fit in when I was 14. I like to party and have always been a sort of party animal and when the mood hits me there is no turning back. I have never tried to not have a drink when I go out with friends and I dont think I could feel comfortable in a social situation with alcohol around while not having a drink. None of this has never been a problem for me until I started having black outs thanks to my friend jagermeister.

      I realized after a built up tolerance that jager was the only shot that would give me a good quick buzz because lets face it, I might not want to get s:(* faced drunk but I'm not just drinking empty calories for nothing.

      I have blacked out in the past, found myself in the city of Atlanta with a big black eye laying in the grass, had people tell me I have said and done crazy things.....mostly I have chalked it up to being a party animal. I have worried about what it is that I dont remember but I get over it.

      Im hard working and a good person, with a good heart. Its hard being a single mom and when I unwind I go back to my roots and party like there is no tomorrow.

      The other day I drove the golf cart at a golf tournament and I had another black out episode. I dont feel like I am crazy or an alcoholic but because my fiance who I love with all my heart was the target of my black out fury, it scares me.

      Aparently I started saying all kinds of mean and hurtful things and tried to fight him. I jumped out of his truck in the rain while he was driving and got up and started walking away. I have no clue visually or within my memory about anything that happened. It scares me a little bit now because I don't want this to hurt my relationship or soon to be marriage.

      We can all be in control of ourselves.

      I dont think im an alcoholic, I just need to get a grip when I start to party like there is no tomorrow and realize that three shots in an hour need to set in for quite a while instead of continuing to drink like my guy friends who are all close to a foot taller than me or over a foot taller than me and weigh 80 to who knows how many pounds more than me.

      Its good to know I'm not alone

      I'm not crazy and those who know me love me, I just black out sometimes.

    • Anonymous-20

      i dont drink all the time but when i do i go HARD!!!to a point that i blackout often and wake up the following day to learn i was a huge jerk to my wife and anyone that is around... and after reading this page i cant believe i have alcoholism at 30....

    • Phil

      I never considered myself to have a problem with alcohol, getting "f-d up" sure but not an alcoholic.

      A few days ago, i attacked the one true love I've ever had, properly attacked her, after a night of excessive drinking, even while having cracked ribs and a broken wrist from a previous drinking session.

      I am NOT someone who does this, but when I do drink, I can't stop, I can go for more than a few weeks without a drink, but when I do, I drink till I fall. Blackouts are a common theme, and often cause massive problems in the aftermath.

      I hurt the love of my life, her family despise me now, where once I was welcomed as a part of them, and I am in the proccess of proving that I will fix all this, I'm going to make this right, if it's the last thing I do.

      I will never touch another drop, and if I'm lucky enough to get her back, I will treat her with as much love and devotion as I'm capable of and do whenever I haven't had a drink.

      I'm 27 and my life as I lnow it has been turned upside down by my actions, here's to a better life, and a happier cosmic partner!


    • Billy Jimbo

      Hi, I'm 17 and I think that this is also not completely true. I have found that I would blackout quite easily only sometimes when I drink. a year ago I would drink LARGE amounts in the summer nights and weekends, but one night I blacked out after only drinking one flask of vodka. later this year i started taking vyvanse for ADD and Zoloft for depression, and after testing out in moderation, I realized I could drink while on it. One day, I drank all through the night, and to rid of my hangover the next morning, drank when I woke up and through the rest of that day, not blacking out either of those two days. However, many weeks after that, (not drinking as heavily or consistently as in the past, maybe 3x or less a week) I easily blacked out after drinking maybe 5 shots or more of rum. So do I have an (abuse) problem? yes, and I'm aware of this and am being treated (but not for being an alcoholic, for depression) but am I an alcoholic? I do not think so, I haven't drank in over 2 weeks and haven't had any problem about it.

    • Brad

      For almost 5 years now I have been in an amazing relationship with the love of my life. I have known her since we were in junior high and have always wanted to be with her. there are times however that I drink and go over the top and treat her awfully. It doesn't happen all the time but it happens. I just recently did it again Saturday for the first time in a while but it was so bad her sister yelled at me for the way I was acting. I just recently asked her father for her hand in marriage because I felt that this was past me. she has put up with so much in the past that I thought I was done and over this mess, but the fact of the matter is doing it once in a long whole or all the time it's still a problem that I've finally come to realize. I'm vowing to never get to that point again in my life and I want to use this as motivation along with the fact I want to marry my childhood friend. good luck to everyone on here

    • Claudio

      I quit smoking a couple of years ago and I've been blacking out whenever I would drink,Although its not every time its usually when I go out.I was at a charity auction this saturday and purposely stayed away from Hard liquor and only white wine,My fiance told me the next morning that I fell a sleep closer to mid night and I have no recolection of us going up to a restaurant and ordering food and Me buying a bottle of wine for the table.

      This really scares me because I have cut down on my intake of alcohol.I was big on scotch,whisky and vodka but I dont drink hard alcahol anymore.Light beer is my go to now and I love wine.I know that this maybe a result of drinking all the years prior to now but I cant understand why this started to hapen right after I quit smoking.I used to tolerate 5 times more than what I drink now and would never throw up or black out.

    • Anonymous-21

      I went for a job interview in San Francisco, I hadn’t drank for 3 weeks. I drank t much got into a fight I don’t even remember but I got bruised up and my whole body hurts. I spent all my money and don’t remember half the day. Thank god my phone service was disconnected that day otherwise I would have made calls to family members and made an a*s out of myself. I remember punking some guys everywhere I Went. I just remember a dude with a barstole coming at me. I hope I didn’t hurt him, I am blessed he didn’t hurt me. I guess its no more drinking for me cause ever every time. I drink its progressively getting worse and I can’t remember anything except I loose my money jewelry watches and patience. I wake up the next day feeling like sh*t. I am done

    • Anonymous-22

      I have known my best mate for twenty five years, he is an alcoholic and he admits it he drinks a litre a day and the most I have seen him drink is three litres in one day. He wakes up drunk!! I am so worried about him lately he was admitted to the hospital because he has to much sodium in his blood because of the vodka he walked out because he needed a drink its ruining his life he doesn't clean or shower himself he has no job he can't work because he drinks all day and he uses the stupid excuse that if he stopped he will die anyway. Yesterday. It breaks my heart I don't drink at all I hate the stuff I am loosing my best friend alcohol ruins lives !!!

    • reasoning

      I can totally agree with evrything u guys r saying.the fites blacking out getting up broke breaking stuff.

    • Joe D

      Hi there, im 23 years old and for the past 6 months iv been having weird feelings and worrying blackouts when I drink. I'v been drinkin since iv been 15 and drink every friday night with friends in our local pub or have an odd house party afterwards. One night in the pub i had 6 cans of harp (irish beer) and about 5 jagerbombs and a bloodymary which iv no idea where got, but near the end of the night i remember talking to a chick and i was talking absolute rubbish or talking about something completly of the subject where we started. My m8 beside me actually said 'joe wtf are you talking about' and i kinda snapped out of it and the girl looked at me as if to say 'dude you need help'. It was like i was took over by something for 10 minutes or like i was sleep talking with my eye's open and only 50% functioning. The next morning my hangover was really bad i was paranoid of what I did or didn't do that night and not being able to seperate my dreams from the reality of that night, I get a feeling of doom and dread which last maybe 2 days and b4 I know it its friday again and it starts again, but to be fair this isn't every week it happens maybe once A month, has any1 felt like this or am i losing my marbbles..

    • Anonymous-23

      Hi hope you all well blackouts happen every now and then. I like to drink but the problem is its takes control there is nights I go out great night come home sleep fine . Then there's the night where I remember bits and pieces. Usually crap that I have done that I wouldn't dream of sober hate myself for doing it :-) getting so angry or either very sexual with men. I am a nice joyful person and want to be happy and yes I could give up the drink but is there anyway in finding out wether it's something else.


    • Anonymous-24

      I drank so much one night that i peed on the stairs and my neighbours saw me. I didnt remember anything the next day, but they told me. I am a 27 year old girl.

    • Anonymous-25


    • Zarcho

      Male, 23yro / drinking since 16yro / One week ago of tonight, I had 1 bourbon drink and two high percentage beers, felt not quite satisfactory and so decided to head to the neighborhood bar for a cider, got there, cider too different after a palate of hoppy beers and knob creek. So left to another bar, proceeded to have another whiskey neat with a yuengling to wash. Talk to an older woman next to me about the dangers of cocaine and for a while slowly sipped. Then she left I run into an acquaintance and have one more (realized only after looking at my bank account the next day) bourbon. I do not remember leaving or bicycling home, and remember bits and pieces of yelling at the top of. Y lungs and thrwing furniture around my wart net and recollection of snorting the last bit of book had in an old drawer (which In conversation with that woman earlier, had decided to throw away) and eventually coming out of my rage and realizing I destroyed the place. I woke up the next day and ended up two hours late for work. I felt like sh*t in the morning , walked into my bathroom and step on glass holy sh*t my medicine cab mirror is shattered all of the place, there's a small hole in the wall and towel holder is ripped out. I proceed to my living room/kitchen area and there's sh*t everywhere, I took basically hate er I could lift and threw it around the area, the lampshades ripped up, tables all flipped and dented, chairs the same, dirt from a potted plant flung all over the kitchen and up against a wall in the living room with dish soap poured all ovr it, turning into a goop. I later noticed a big hole in the kitchen wall, punched thru. The linoleum in the floor in a couple spots is chipped out and there's also sticky beer poured over the floors. M collar bone extremely sore, my forearm, left shin, right foot , all sore as sh*t. At work even my manager seemed genuinely concerned more than angry with me. I've told my parents and close friends and they are helping me out immensely and giving comfort and support. I have drank since that night. I don't black out everytime I drink, but have had a few these past couple of years that were very bad (the recent one explained, and last new years I got whiskey crazy drunk at my friends parents party and ended up groping a lady after hitting on her and got choked out by her husband. Completely humiliated . Now I wreck my apartment, I'm just feeling lucky to be alive. The world is a tricky place and I'm learning my way thru the difficulties and learning what I can and can't do in order to live a fulfilleling, creative, productive, and loving life.

    • tammie

      Ihave always had fun at parties. A couple of drinks and I'm social and the life of they party. Lately, scan forward 20 years, I only drank occasionaly but used to smole some marijuana. I got frustrated with my husband since he and his pasl drink and drank at my domiclie but I refrained. I decided that I would drink like them and being a women that's bad. I have had blackouts in the last two years and since I work 14 hour days I enjoy a alcohol buzz just to assuage the awful feelins of nor being able to be there for my kids. I hate the blackouts since it's a story of me that I'm not a part of. But I have been attacking my husband - verbally and now it's gotten physical. I was in my own backyard and I literally jumped over the small smoker to kick his ass. I remember really wanting him to feel as bad as I do. I've made all the money in my family and was fed us with him not financially pulling his weight. But I feel bad that I treated him that way but I realize that if I've had too much to drink I take it out on the ones that disappointed me and not the ones I am responsible for. Until on Thanksgiving I threw cards at my son for winning the card game we were playing. I have apologized profusely to him but I wouldn't know I did that until my husband said I did. I hate alcohold for blurring my vision but I'm still super mad at my husband for not being a full part of my and my kids life. I have become an alcholic and I realize it's becuase my husband doesn't support my/our family. I'm quitting and have 1 week left but have had a ruinous night with my husband family and feel bad for being so short even though my brother-in-law is an extreme grump and control freak. Wish me luck because the thought of dealing with my apathatic husband and yuppie in laws I have a huge road a head and no more alcohol to ease the burden.

    • Hurting bad

      Ok I'm 21 and I have always gotten drunk with friends And it's had a good time and not had any major problems, but a few nights ago I got so drunk I blacked out I don't hardly remember anything just bits and pieces. So I called my best friend to ask her what happened so told me I tried to have sex with her like make out with her and everything!!! And I had no idea any of that happened and I'm not gay at all I have a boyfriend but I don't understand why I did any of that! Like it makes me throw up when I think of what she said because I'm so humiliated with my self. I don't think I can ever see her again or anyone else that was there with us. every since that night I have been nothing but depressed out of my mind just wanting to absolutely die because I can not take back what has happened and it's ruined everything. please give me a good opinion I can't take feeling like this anymore.


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