Question:
My husband, just like the case you wrote about on this website, has delusional jealousy. In the case you wrote about, the patient is taking medication. My husband does not even realize that he needs help. Everybody I speak to says that there is nothing I can do unless he himself contacts the doctor. But how can he contact the doctor if he does not know that he needs help? Full Circle!
I cannot just watch him lose his mind. My husband is asking for a divorce!
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- Dr. Schwartz responds to questions about psychotherapy and mental health problems, from the perspective of his training in clinical psychology.
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Answer:
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You state that your husband is losing his mind. However, the fact that your husband is jealous does not mean that he is losing his mind unless he shows signs of dementia. In cases of dementia and Alzheimers disease, people have what is called “diminished capacity.” This means that they are not able to make decisions because they are proven to not know the consequences of what they decide. Only a psychiatrist, after doing a “Mental Status Exam” as well as some other tests, can make such a determination about reduced capacity. On it’s own, delusional jealousy does not fall under the catergory of reduced capacity.
If your husband is older and is showing signs of dementia, then, you can speak to his medical doctor, ask for advice and bring him in for an examination. If the doctor agrees there is a problem, he can guide things towards the next step.
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If he is showing signs of a psychotic illness, and that means that he is hearing voices and showing other signs of psychosis, it still does not mean he cannot get a divorce. In and of itself, mental illness cannot stop someone from divorcing. As long as a person is not in danger of committing suicide or homicide, they can sue for divorce.
There are people who are jealous enough to want a divorce. The falsely accused wife or husband can encourage going to a marriage therapist to work out their differences. Only if the jealous spouse wants to go for joint counseling can it happen. There is nothing abnormal about wanting a divorce because of feeling distrustful and jealous.
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It is understandable that this is painful for you. It is never easy to face a divorce, especially when you are being accused of something you did not do. Nevertheless, unless he agrees to join you in marriage therapy there is nothing you can do.
Best of luck
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