My husband becomes angry to the point of screaming and cursing when I or the kids leave a dirty dish in the family room, papers left in my car, anything that isn’t in the proper place. Etc. I am a excellent housekeeper, and resent his behavior over these minor things.. Is this a mental problem? I can’t believe anyone in there right mind would make such a fuss over such trivial stuff. There is mental illness in his family. I have begged him to see a dr. but he denies there is anything wrong with him. There is no in between, he is either easy going or angry enough to break up our home. I am constantly walking on egg shells to keep from setting him off. Can you give me any insight into what his problem could be? I am at my wits end. Appreciate any advice you may have.
- ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
- ‘Anne’ bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
- Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
- Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
- No correspondence takes place.
- No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by ‘Anne’ to people submitting questions.
- ‘Anne’, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. ‘Anne’ and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
- Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.
The behavior you describe is rigid and upsetting, but whether or not it is a mental illness I will leave to mental health experts. Walking on eggshells is a horrible way to live. Hopefully there is no physical violence. Verbal violence is bad enough. Have you two considered marital therapy before? It would seem right up your alley. You’ve got complaints that your husband won’t take seriously. You are probably both angry with each other, or at least you are angry with him. You need a place where you can talk to one another with a traffic cop in the room to keep you both from going off inappropriately. A good marital therapist will perform this function for you, and maybe can also get you both moving towards a better place. If your husband isn’t willing to do anything to take care of the relationship, then the next question is one for you: “Is it worth it to stay with him?”.
More "Ask Anne" View Columnists