Need help breaking free from addiction?
Call 24/7 for treatment options. Ad Info & Options

My Husband Won't Touch Me


Hi,I have a question. I have been with my husband for 6 years of marriage and 7 years together. At the begining things was great he was affectionate and lovable and he was the one that started everything. And now I am lucky if I get sexual relationship with him maybe every 2 weeks. He saids it is cause from all the jobs he has had. Could he be right on that? We talk about it but nothing seems to get corrected. He also says that he dose not remember how to be affectionate when he started it. I did ask him if he go see someone to help him out. He says he does not want to. He does think it would help him. I told him I am not ending our marriage over this cause I think it is stupid and 2 I now this can be fixed but how when I have talked to him about so many times about this. I asked him if I have done anything wrong to make him stop being affectionate. He saids no it is not my fault. All I want to know is where to go from here and is my husband right when work can cause the stress in him for not being so affectionate no more? Thank you for your time. I know you are busy.

This Disclaimer applies to the Answer Below
  • ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
  • ‘Anne’ bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
  • Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
  • Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
  • No correspondence takes place.
  • No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by ‘Anne’ to people submitting questions.
  • ‘Anne’, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. ‘Anne’ and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
  • Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.

If your husband is working multiple jobs at once (or even one job for many hours), he may very well be telling you the truth. Work stress does take a toll on people, and sexual desire is often one of the first things to go when life becomes stressful. Luckily this is a reversible problem if both of you are willing to compromise and to work on it to make it better. I, like you, think that seeing a counselor about this issue would be a good idea. Unlike you, I don’t think that your husband should go alone, but rather that the two of you should go together, as in marriage counseling. It’s not that there are necessarily serious problems in the marriage right now – but if left uncorrected, the low frequency of intimacy in your marriage might lead to more serious problems (like you being angry and furious at your husband all the time, feeling that he has rejected you). I would suggest you tell him that the lack of sexuality in the relationship is hard for you (as it is for many in your position), and that you hope he’ll agree to go with you for relationship counseling to ‘nip this problem in the bud’ while it is still small and solvable. Whether you ultimately go for therapy or not, a hopeful sign would be that he’ll recognize that your concerns are important and that he’ll take them seriously and want to address them so that you are happier again. This is not his problem alone; this is a problem in your shared relationship. Because it is a shared problem you will both have to cooperate to come to a mutually satisfactory solution.

More "Ask Anne" View Columnists

  • kathy

    My husband and I have been togeather 17 years, 5 of those years dating and 12 married. The first 3 years dating he always wanted sex and he would show affection. Then everything changed he will hardly kiss me goodbye or even huge me. I have talked to him many times about this he always has a answer like he is just to tired, or it's only me thinking this way making things up. I have tried to live with this but I feel the stress building each time I try to make him understand what this is doing to me and our marriage. I blame myself so much. Maybe it's my weight gain or maybe he just feel out of love with me somewhere down the road and I failed to see it. He tells me he loves me more each day, but I'm just not feeling that love. I need to have him show me not just tell me. So I know exactly what your feeling and then more..

  • Anonymous-1

    As a guy I'd like to point out that males communication style is different then females. Directly approaching an emotional issue is rarely a way to solve a problem and can often serve to escalate it. Guys communicate better with some form of distraction present that can ease the tension if the discussion becomes too high strung. This is why males bond over such activities as cookouts, working on a truck, fishing, and manual labor. You rarely see two males just sitting down to talk directly. Of course I only speak of what I know.

  • Been there

    My husband ceased interest in me once I was pregnant. I put up with the same rejection and lame excuses. It was always my fault. He was too tired, his back,neck, head, leg, shoulder hurt, he had an upset stomach, whatever or I was too demanding, the house was a mess (that was my favorite). I now know he wanted out of the marriage a long time ago and this was a passive/aggressive way to express that. He is a sexual anorexic who has been into pornography a long time and prefers that to a real woman. Could this be a problem of others as well? It's worth considering.

  • Anonymous-2

    I know how you feel.

    We have been married for almost 4 years, and have a 1 1/2 years old child.

    My husband is a good guy! He is a christian, and he loves God. Before I got married with him, I know that sex was not the number one thing in a relationship for him. He was virgin when we got married.

    At the beginning, may times I had the initiative but now I am tired of it. I want to feel that he loves me, and that he looks for me.

    It is hard, and difficult. I do not want to cheat on him or anything like that. But sometimes I feel like it.

    Is is frustrating to live like that. I do not know how much I can handle the situation. I hope God will guide us in our relationship because it is not going anywhere.

  • Anonymous-3

    We have been married for 2 yrs. 5 months. We lived together now for 3 yr. and 2 months. We are both 62 yrs. old. At the beginning he would make love to me, undress me and even took baths with me a couple of times. He would walk by me and carress my breast. Suddenly it all stopped and he will not explain why and refuses to talk about it. It got to the point where we would only make love about once a month or every 2 months. Now it has been 7 months since he has even tried to be intimate. He tells me that he loves me so much and is always hugging me and kissing me but never goes any further. I know he has a lot of medical issues but he was able to make love before. It's like he decided that it's just not worth it. I do believe he really loves me but he does'nt seem to realize how it is destroying me, since he won't even discuss it. I am overweight and have a lot around my middle section but that is the way I was in the beginning and it did'nt seem to bother him than.

    The only thing he'll say is that it is not me and that it's him. I think he does why would he want to do that when he has a willing wife. I feel empty inside and don't know what to think. I am still a very affectionate woman and want to be touched and I feel it's wrong for him to deny me of this. There are so many ways to please a woman but is he feeling that if he does try that he may want more and he'll fail and just hurt me even more? My first husband would come right out and tell me that I turned him off. My husband now tells me I'm beautiful but yet won't touch me.

    I am hurting so much inside because I love this man so much.

  • jamie

    I am 29 years old my boyfriend is 39 years old.We have been together for 8 years. The last 5 years my partner is not interested in sex or anything could could have the possibility of turning into sex. I initiated sex for the past 5 years and felt it was always a chore to him when I did. I no longer make any passes at him. Its now been 3 months and he doesnt even think about sex. He is a very loving man and always hugs and kisses often, he will cuddle at night. However if he thinks it may go past first base,he quickly finds a way to end the ball game. I dont think he would be having a affair and he has had a physical his testosterone is fine. Last week we were watchin tv and a nude woman was on a commerical and he said that it didnt interest him at all and stated I dont know whats wrong with me I dont even feel like a man. I have lost hope in our sexual relationship. I feel my only option is living without an intimate relationship for the rest of my life. I dont want to end the relationship at this time. I am completly in love with him and I still find him as attrative as the first day I meet him. A few things that bother me are. We split up for a year 6 months ago. He did everything to get me back. He told me and all of our finds he would never take it for granted again and wanted to get married right away. He couldnt keep his hands off of me the entire time we were split and a month after I moved back in. I guess its like he only wants what he doesnt have. To any woman out there who are going through the same situation it is very devistating. I feel the hardest thing is not knowing why. I havnt gained weight my looks havent changed. I have looked into many web sites to find clues, I have wondered if he is gay,having a affair. I recently spoke with our best friends who are a married couple and the male states one thing the is for sure is he really loves you and he's not gay, but he for sure likes to be in control of every situation.Good luck to all of you who are in the same boat, it has been a long painful road for me.Many painful nights of crying have happened in my room and absolutly no sex.

  • RedWine

    After reading all these stories, made me realize how im not alone. A couple of days a week I find myself crying because of the lack of intimacy in my relationship. Even when we are intimate, I feel like he is only doing it so he doesn't have to hear me complain about anything. I feel heart broken by this really. It stresses me out and its hard to just let it go and I feel it is honestly tearing our relationship apart. I wish I had a magic answer, I have been reading tons of articles and trying to think up ideas. I just hate feeling im the only one wanting to fix the problem. Shouldn't he be trying to fix things as well? I just want to say your not alone, and this is an issue that appears to be affecting many woman. All I can say is to talk it out as much as possible. Let him know how you feel, I will say I will at times have my outburst and let him know how I have been feeling. Another thought is to read books to give you ideas on how to spark a relationship, this is something im trying to do now so I shall keep you updated. anyways good luck to you all. We need it!

  • Anonymous-4

    I have been having the same issue with my boyfriend of 7 years. This issue has been going on for 2 years now and I feel as if I am almost at my breaking point. We have talked about this a few times and its always the same outcome...nothing changes! 2 years ago he was not working for 1 1/2 years and claimed that it was depression, now he has been working for the past year and the excuse is he's tired, wants to watch TV and relax, has too much on his mind etc. He never initiates sex and I am constantly rejected. He will even say "not now, in the morning" then in the morning...nothing! He claims its not me and that it's him and he is not sure why, that he is just weird...I really am not buying this at all! Besides that he hasen't slept in the bed with me in the past 2 years either. And too make matters worse, he says that the TV in the bedroom is too do you think that made me feel when he said it? Basically that the TV is more important than me and/or our relationship and being close to me. I have approached this issue in so many ways because I am tired of crying about this everyday and I don't like to internalize these feelings that will only make matters worse. I know he loves me and I have said this to him..."I feel like I have a roomate and not a boyfriend", then his response is that he does not look at me like a roomate at all and doesn't want me to think that...well that's difficult when he acts like a roomate, don't you think? I have come to realize that it sucks to be lonely, but it really sucks to be lonely in a relationship. I don't know what to do anymore and I have noticed that, unintentionally, I have been acting out and have been bitchy for no reason...but there is a reason I am lonely in a relationship. I love this man with all my heart and hope everything works out for us and all of you out their going through the same thing.

  • Janet

    I am 47 years old. My husband is 52 years old. We have been married for 20 years. We had a fantastic courtship. So much romancing! We used to make love at least ones every night! He would always fall asleep holding me. Then all this slowly started changing. By the time we had our first baby I could already see the change in him.

    He lost all interest in having sexual intercourse with me. He wouldnot let me touch him. He said I was too agressive. He said I should wait for him to initiate and not the other way round. But when I let him initiate he would do nothing. I asked him if he was seeing someone else. He said no and I believe him. There is no body contact in bed! He curls up on his side of the bed and goes to sleep very quickly. He says he is repulsed by my touch. We have discussed this many times over the years. There are moments when we have sex once a week and other moments when its once a month. For now it is three months since we made love and he seems very happy. I am very unhappy and cry myself to sleep at night. I am now considering looking for a job in another town so that I can move away. I think it should be more bearable if I do not have to share a bedroom or house with him. I am heartbroken.

  • Also hurting!

    Dear Ladies,

    I know how you feel! I wont bother you with the details as we all have details that will only make us sad :( and I want my comment to give us hope! All I can say is that I've come to accept that love and sex are not the same thing - after all you love your other family (parents, kids, siblings, friends etc) and there's no sex involved in those relationships. So, love is one thing. Then there is sex - I think it's a basic physical need. We all feel the need - husbands and wifes alike and I agree and wish I could figure out why the hubby wants to have sex sometimes and why he doesn't sometimes. Because I don't get enough, I feel like I want it all the time (and trust me I'm no nympho) and I think that's sad, like most of your other stories. I wish there was a way to know before marriage that a relationship could turn into this. Yes, I suppose counseling is an option - but really, who wants to go to a person so then can tell you how to turn the heat on? We all know how to turn the heat on - we've experienced it! The question is how to keep the heat going and I think the lady with the comment that sometimes the man wants what he can't have has the answer - after she seperated, he wanted her. So, there it is ladies - we need to VALUE ourselves and remind ourselves that our husbands are not the only ones out there that want to have sex with us! There are plenty of people who want to have sex with you - you are beautiful and sexy! Now, I'm not recommending that you cross the line and find yourselves over your heads with some kind of crazy thing like an affair, but if you remind yourself that the clerk at the bank may want you, that the driver in that car may want you, that the guy at the gym who smiles at you when you go there (like once a year, LOL!), then, we feel soooo much better. I know I do! When I do this little mental exerices, I feel so much better only because it reminds me that even if my husband doesn't want to have sex with me like I need him to, well there are plenty of people that would LOVE to and that someone gets the edge off for me. Hey, sometimes it doesn't even hurt to re-connect with an old past boyfriend, :-), even if it is in your thoughts. Once I do this, I feel like I'm back in the game and want and feel sexy and wanted - which I think that's what sex is all about - wanting to feel desired! But remember, don't cross that line! Wishing you all the best and hoping I brought some hope to some! :)

  • Anonymous-5

    I have been married for almost 3 years. In the beginning, it was hot and heavy and so very often which completely satisfied me. Now, nothing for 2 1/2 months!!!!! He refuses to talk about it. denies he is getting it elsewhere..

    I was a widow before we met and I feel like a widow now. I go to bed before him and there is nothing, no cuddling on the couch unless I ask him if i could sit with him...he roles his eyes and says, really feeling wanted there.

    He refuses to even let me touch him sexually. I love my husband but i hate this loneliness in my marriage.


  • Suzy

    Wow, all you women are living with the same rejection, and sexless lives as me! I am happy to have found this site, but also sad because other women are feeling this kind of pain too.

    I have been with my husband for just over 3 years, I have mostly been the initiator for intimacy. My husband just never seemed interested, he had some health problems which I thought was probably causing him to have a low libido. I supported him through all his health problems and he is a healthy guy. I asked him several times to go the dr about his low libido, he just ignored me, I asked if he could pleasure me if he didn't feel in the mood himself, he just ignored me again. I have been feeling rejected, unattractive and undesirable for three years, then lo and behold one day I caught him on the computer on a porn site! He had so much porn on his computer I couldn't believe it! I checked the dates, and he has been into the porn since the beginning of our relationship. It appears he ifeels more connected to his fantasy world than me. I am in a lot of emotional pain right now. I am going from being an easy-going loving person to being angry, resentful and cranky with him (not other people). It doesn't feel good to be me right now. I am feeling quite depressed about this whole situation. I honestly cannot see myself continuing living like this, if I did I would have to take on a lover or two, heck why stop there? Just a bit of joking to lighten the mood here! At the very least get a vibrator ladies, I have two now, I call one Charlie and the other Fred. They have recently come into my life, and I love them both, all as I have to do is not run out of batteries! I wish all of us ladies could go out on a girl's night on the town, maybe a couple of male strippers, just have fun and be crazy. Big hugs to everyone out there, take care you are not alone! Keep talking and writing, it will help keep us all connected!

  • Anonymous-6

    As a man i might be able to provide some insight into how we work. As human males, just like males of any other animal species, I believe we are naturally wired to have as many sexual partners as we can in order to spread our "seed" and give our genetic material a greater chance of survival in the gene pool. To facilitate that, our natural inclination is to hotly pursue a mate, but we lose interest rather quickly after that objective has been obtained. This is natures way of ensuring a healty gene pool.

    As a higher evolved species we have established social laws that are in direct contrast to our natural instincts. we have been conditioned to behave in a way that fits within society's norms (monogamy). While we have the best intentions and are truly in love with a person. After a number of years of having sex with the same person, it just becomes boring. And while many of us become fat slothy pigs ourselves, you can't blame a guy for not wanting you anymore if you get a mom haircut and gain 40 pounds.

    The best way I've found to not get bored with my wife is to flirt alot so that I feel like I'm still in the "game" without ever acting on it, and by watching porn/masturbating so I can imagine that I have some variety. This has managed to keep me very interested in my wife after almost 8 years. We are still fairly active (2-3 times a week).

    The key is for him to have an active sex life in his fantasy world so that he doesn't feel trapped and locked down in his real life.

  • terri

    well me and my boyfriend have been together now for 3 years..well he is now wanting me to move out and says we will still be as a couple just not living in same household...

    he never touches me as he once did way before i moved in here with him...

    what do we women do when the men we love no longer feels attracted to us and he uses every excuse in the book not to have sex with you but will make arrangements to try and meet with another whether it be male or female behind your back

    i think cheating is cheating no matter if its male or female

  • Anonymous-7

    I agree with the person who said that the men are into pornography. My husband has not touch me in 4 years and I know he is on the porn sight. I can't handle it I need to feel a man's touch I need to be held,kissed and just loved. Vibrators will not replace a hand,lips or touch I need a real man for that. So if we get a man to do what our husband will not do I feel this is not wrong why should it be wrong we was driven into the arms of someone else.I will like to tell every women if your husband will not make love to you find someone who will. Go back into your past get a friend do not stress yourself out over it but do not get what you need because your husband is getting his rocks off on the computer. And I bet you the women that he is looking at on the porn site reminds him of his wifr LOL.

  • Carol

    HI Ladys....yes its painful.....I asked my hubby of 4 years why he never gives me a hug or touch me for that matter....his reply was " I AM AFRAID IT WILL GO TO YOUR HEAD ".....on another occasion he says " HE CANT BE PRODUCTIVE WHEN HE GIVES ME AFFECTION ETC "......made me feel really loved lol

  • Anonymous-8

    As a male I would like to point out that we often don't know what is going on. We love the person that we are with but are not interested in the sex. And then there is the guilt of causing the one we love the pain of rejection. I'm not saying that the male is going through more than the female - I doubt that. I'm saying there is an awareness/despair over what is happening from the male side that is the counterpart of the awareness/anger/despair from the female side. I don't know how to resolve this. I am hurting the person that I love in much the same ways that have been outlined above (I thought that it was some deviancy/insufficiency in me - and maybe it is - only more widespread). I would love to return to how things were in the beginning but I don't know how. And then her feelings are hurt and the anger comes forth (completely justified) and I don't know what to say. THere is no other woman. Pornography is gone. Now there is only this gulf between us and I don't know how to cross it. And I could go on for pages so I'll stop there. Both my wife and I would be grateful for any insight on how to interrupt the cycle...

  • Pat

    My husband of 40+ years told me years ago to not touch him. He hates being touched, also he stated he doesn't want sex, intimacy or love from me. He just wants to be friends. I thought he was kidding and things would get better. I should have dumped him then, but no I was young, and was I stupid! Here we are in our mid 60s and its been maybe close to 26 or 27 years since we last had sex. I've had sex only a few times in my life. I wanted kids and my husband didn't want kids! As soon as I mentioned kids he went out and had himself fixed. I found out he hated kids he thought they were dirty little beings who grew up to be dopers, and bleed the parents of all there money. I've wasted my life with this low life person and we are now on a fixed income and leaving is almost out of the question. I don't have family or friends to help me out and not educated enough to find a full time job. Maybe I'll die real soon.

  • stephany

    my husband and I have been together for five years. He was always emotionally detached as many men are..but less and less he touches me, kisses me, and there is always a reason for not having sex. He is in the Army and although he works long days, im afraid his XBOX sees more action than I have in weeks. i can't sleep and I haven't felt a peacefulness in years. I know sex isnt the only thing in the world or in a happy relationship but I am 21 years old. I cant just sit on the couch anymore and let the best years of my life go while I make dinner, work two jobs, clean the house, and try to be a loving wife to a distant stranger. I love him more than anything but shouldn't I love myself too?

    Thank you for your words:) They all help me to see i'm not alone

  • Anonymous-9

    I truly feel sad, but connected to your stories. I have been in a relationship with my husband for 13 years and married for only one year. My husband started rejecting me the day we said I do. We had no physical contact until three months after we got married. And if I don't say or ask for sex we want have it, and it always felt as if he did it just to shut me up. He tells me all the time how much he loves me and we have date nights, we'll watch movies together, have meaningful conversations and laugh about stupid stuff, but know it's like hanging out with a friend (with out benefits) I have even started sleeping in the other room, to see if he would notice but he could care less.

    I could really use some good advice


    trying to be more than just friends

  • shirley

    I know how all of you feel ladies, I am in a sexless relationship, and I am seriously considering getting out. My partner is impotent due to diabetes, and I have been more than patient and understanding for a long time, but he is very selfish, and won't even try to satisfy any of my needs sexually. He is a good person, and treats me well in other ways, says he loves me and wants to stay together, we even went to counselling for awhile. I am attractive, and never had this problem with other men. We have been together for 12 years, and I am heartbroken that we cannot seem to work this out. He is a workaholic, and does not communicate well, gets defensive a lot. I resent him more and more. We have tried viagra, but he didn't give it much of a chance, we only tried it twice, and he gave up, now he totally avoids sex and intimacy. He seems to think I should just give up sex and live this way. He told me if I cheat he will leave, and said I could have a vibrator, but he doesn't like the idea. I am on the verge of giving up. Good to talk to other women who know how I feel though. My self esteem is very worn down right now.

  • Ann

    My husband and I have been married 40 plus years, and the last 30 years or so we hadn't had sex, or any kind of intimacy. He won't touch me and every time I come in the house I touch his back side. And he really hates that! I have no idea why all this started ! I feel so un used, unloved, and totally unwanted. I bet we maybe we had sex 2 dozen times in our entire married life. I've been without for so long that I've forgotten what love and intimacy is like.

  • Carrie

    Like many of you, I am in a sexless marriage. Married 14 years and we haven't had sex in almost two years now. I can count on one hand how many times we had sex in the few years leading up to the last two and I'm not exaggerating. My husband has zero interest in sex and I'm lucky to get a peck of a kiss on the lips. My husband and I get along well, but it's like we're platonic friends. We have two small children and I refuse to break up our family. I started having an affair about 3 years ago with a former love interest from my past. he's in a similiar situation as myself. The affair helps me cope, but creates problems of it's own. It's just nice to be touched once in a while and have someone tell me how beautiful I am and appreciate me. For people to judge and say, "just get a divorce!" They must not have children. I know I am breaking vows of marriage, but so has my husband.

  • Annie

    My husband and i got marriedabout 5 years ago. When we moved into together he stopped having sex with me completely. he always came up with an excuse. He was too tired. Didn't lke having sex during the day, anything. We have fought about sex constantly. He always promises he will change. He wants our marriage to work. he wants to woo me back. Year after year it is the same comments and no action. We now have a baby (One of the times i can count on one hand) However, i am getting older and i feel that i am wasting my life. It has been 5 years of no sex, of any excuse. Tonight i was joking around touching him. he kept telling me don't touch me. I put my hands down his pants and he got angry and yanked my hand out hand. We argued and i said he must be gay. He said he didn't like me saying he has an extra part. Anyway really it is any excuse. I am used to the excuses and tired of them. I want to feel loved and wanted. I feel ugly and unattractive. I really feel it was the worst mistake marrying him. My daughter is the only good thing that has come out of my marriage. It is sad i used to be confident about my looks and now i feel terrible about myself.

  • Anonymous-10


    I am on the opposite side of the coin. I am a married man of 25 years to a wife that has never once initiated intimacy and to this day has a hard time kissing, hugging, or even holding hands unless it is initiated by me. I have asked many times what the problem is and am met with silence. We have 3 children and I have thought about leaving many times but think it is unfair to my children so I have stayed. For many years we only had sex once a year. She flat out denies that ever happened but if I don't initiate anything it never happens and she never thinks twice about it. I confronted her about a year ago about her staying up until 1 or 2 A.M. before she came to bed and she said it was to avoid me, that hopefully I was asleep and that I wouldn't get mad when she rejected my advances if I was awake when she did come to bed. She has since got a job and now uses this as an excuse to only have sex on Saturday night and if I miss this window(which happens often) then it won't happen until the next weekend if she isn't sick, tired, or that time of the month. I have given back and foot massages to put her in the mood and even long foreplay with no return from her, she refuses to touch me and I believe she is disgusted by touching me. We have had nights when I was giving her foreplay (and she has orgasmed)and she has said I need to hurry up before one of my kids wake up(instant turn off). I am not bad to look at, a few extra pounds but I do attract other women and am to the point I am thinking about finding someone else to continue the rest of my life with. I want to feel my partner wants to please me as much as I want to please them. Is this too much to ask for?

  • Anonymous-11

    Ladies have the good grace to walk away .I have been in your position I walked from a 20 yr relationship because of it although I still loved the person,knowing I would be redundant with a mortgage outstanding .

    In the relationship I felt the same as you all do ,it was hard but I gained my self respect found another job paid off all my debts ,and all because I finally found RESPECT for MYSELF .

    good luck to you all find happiness within yourself again and THEN move on .

  • Anonymous-12

    I've only read a few comments but I just want to say that it helps me to see other women are going through the same thing. My husband of 7 years has health issues and has been impotent for 3-4 years and we've barely made love at all for 2 years now. The last time was 15 months ago. The only thing that makes that time frame better is he was away on business for 11 months of that time. I wish he would perform oral on me,or use his hand on me to satisfy me. But it seems as long as he's not able to get off then he doesn't care. He's a great guy and husband otherwise. He truly loves me,tells me so every day,brings me flowers etc. The lack of sex is the main issue plus the fact it's making my low self esteem worse. Hopefully reading posts will give me some ideas.

  • Anonymous-12

    I already posted one comment re: that my husband of 9 years has been impotent for the past 3-4 years due to health issues& now its been 15 months since we last made love. I wish more than anything he would perform oral on me,or something because even though I also have health issues I still desire sex and him VERY much. I am hoping through this website & others I will get some idea of how to handle this&what I can do about it for I don't have anyone to talk to.

    II've already seen comments and posts on here that I can relate to and feel comforted knowing that I am not the only one with this issue. But there was one comment on this page that slightly upset me. The one that said you should walk away/leave your marriage. I'm pretty sure you all can figure out which comment I'm referring to. The writer may have had some good things to say but I don't agree in leaving a marriage if you are still in love. I have been divorced previously and I am not anti divorce under the right circumstances. But even with my other marriage( to a man I didn't love) I felt guilty for years after the divorce because I do still believe marriage should be forever. The only exceptions I am comfortable with are if leaving an abusive relationship or if you are no longer or never were in love.

    I just had to add this comment to my previous one because bothered me that the other comment advised people to leave their marriage over a lack of sex. I don't agree with that.


Call the Helpline Toll-FREE

To Get Treatment Options Now.

1-888-993-3112 100% Confidential

Get Help For You or a Loved One Here...

Click Here for More Info.


Call The Toll-FREE Helpline 24/7 To Get Treatment Options Now.

100% Confidential
Get Treatment Options From Your Phone... Tap to Expand