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Should A Depressed Person Marry?

Question:

dear sir, i got to recognize and accept my depression symptoms very recently…after suffering for many years…i don’t know what to do now..although i’m living my normal life till now(as others think)..but i’m having a lot of problems due to depression..usually i’m stuck into things..somehow i dare to come out but those things keep chasing me for sometime until i forgot them or stuck into other matters..this process is very tiredsome and sometime breaking..i keep evaluating myself most of the times and try to find faults in my work/ activities..then i try to recognize those faults and i’m stuck again..i’m not able to live in present..either i’m thinking about any past activity or for future problems..i’m living alone..spending most of the time at work..i’m very afraid of myself..i guess i don’t know/ feel myself..i don’t belive myself..also not easily to others..i’m not able to choose or decide things in my life..or reach to any conclusion..it’s a never ending discussion with myself with no result..i try to be as normal as possible in front of others..but some debate is always going in my mind..and i’m afraid to tell these things to other..or discuss with anybody..eventhough i’ve achieved some respectable things in life..but i guess it’s useless if i’m not able to enjoy them..most important question..should a depressed person marry?..pls do reply… thanks for your reply regards, xxxx

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  • Dr. Schwartz responds to questions about psychotherapy and mental health problems, from the perspective of his training in clinical psychology.
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Answer:

It is an important achievement that you are now able to recognize and accept your symptoms of depression. The next step is to seek psychotherapy and medication for its treatment so that you can fully enjoy your life. In terms of psychotherapy I want to urge you to see a therapist who specializes in doing Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy will help you to address and end the types of unhelpful thoughts that your are describing. Those types of thoughts are referred to as automatic thoughts and are distorted and at least partially unrealistic. This is why the thoughts lead you to feelings of depression. Learning how to recognize and correct your automatic thoughts will go a long way towards helping you feel better.

In addition to psychotherapy I want to strongly recommend that you begin a regimen of anti depressant medication. You have been experiencing depression for many years making it likely that psychotherapy by itself will not relieve your symptoms. The longer lasting a depression is the more resistant it can be to psychotherapy, at least in many cases. The correct type of anti depressant medicine will provide you with feelings of relief from your symptoms and will give you the energy and optimism to enable you to benefit from the therapy.

To these ends I want to urge you to use your insurance (assuming you have health insurance through work) to find a psychiatrist and therapist as quickly as possible so that you can move on with your life.

By the way, to answer your initial question, Yes, people with depression can marry, do marry and should marry if they wish to. There is nothing about depression that should stop a person from pursuing all of their hopes, dreams and aspirations.

Best of Luck

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