Memories: Who Is Correct?

Allan Schwartz, LCSW, Ph.D. was in private practice for more than thirty years. He is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in the states ...Read More

When it comes to memory, particularly of our childhoods, all that matters is what we remember and how we feel about, accurate or not. A huge proportion of our identity consists of how we remember our past. Our individual version forms our story, as we know it, as we remember it.

One of the driving forces of human life has to do with the fact that we have varying perceptions and points of view. This is partly why there are wars. For example, in the Middle East, Palestinian Arabs feel displaced by the Israelis and demand their land back. The Israelis view Palestine as their land based on the fact that it is their biblical home and based on the fact that Jews have always had a presence there. Who is correct and who is mistaken? That all depends on your point of view.

The same happens when adult children attempt to argue with their parents. The reason for the argument is that the adult child is attempting to get the parent to admit to their wrong doing while they were growing up, as though such an admission would somehow heal the past. The parents, on the other hand, usually reject the notion that they did wrong, insisting that they "did the best they could and that the adult child has no reason to fret about the past." Who is correct? That depends on your point of view.

Sound familiar? What are your "points of view?"

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