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Moody Boyfriend

Question:

I have been in my current relationship for three years now. My boyfriend suffers from depression. Basically I have to walk on eggshells just to keep him from “slipping” into that dark place. We’ve been through this before and give or take a few days he snaps out of it. I don’t want to end our relationship over this. I have never lived with someone who has mental issues. We have too much history between us and it would hurt us too much if it ended because of this. I want to help him, but how?

This Disclaimer applies to the Answer Below
  • ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
  • ‘Anne’ bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
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Answer:

You may not actually want to end your relationship, but the thought has crossed your mind, hasn’t it? It’s very stressful to have to walk on eggshells around someone’s moods. It’s not the sort of situation that anyone signs up for. It would show thoughtfulness on your boyfriend’s part if he owned up to his moodiness and sought treatment for it. It’s not like there aren’t reasonably effective treatments for depression these days (medications and psychotherapy both). If it were me, I’d talk to him about how difficult he can be, and ask him, firmly and compassionately, to get some help. I’d base further decisions as to what to do on whether he decides to go for help or not.

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Comments
  • Penny

    I know how you feel my boyfriend is the same way. He is curently seeking treatment but alas it is always the same story of moodiness everyweek. It is like clockwork. I wish i could just talk to his therapist.

  • Anonymous-1

    My boyfriend is the same way! His moodiness and ultra-sensitivity is ruining our relationship. He blows up at the littlest things. I am so stressed out from it I get frequent heartburn and headaches. He admits he has a problem but does nothing to correct it. Sometimes he tries to turn it around on me like I'm the problem, not him. He gets so defensive even though he recognizes he has a problem. His mom was a depressed pill addict who killed herself with an over-dose. His father suffers from severe depression as well. I love him but I can't take this anymore!

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