Need help breaking free from addiction?
1-888-993-3112
Call 24/7 for treatment options. Ad Info & Options

My Boyfriend Is A Sociopath

Question:

I am 24 years old and have been living with my boyfriend for 3 years. For the most part everything has been fine. There have been times throughout our relationship that I have noticed a lack of emotion coming from him. There are times where, if I am upset about something, he doesn’t act like he cares, but still says he loves me. We have made compromises to make each other happy throughout our relationship. He is now coming out to tell me he has known he is a sociopath but has been trying to make a normal relationship work and lead a normal life, but he is not happy. He suggested we take some space away from each other and start over so he can introduce the real him to me. He would want to be the dominate one in the relationship and in control of things so he can be happy, but I don’t know if that would make me happy. I feel a relationship should be 50/50. I am so stuck and confused because I love him so much but I am starting to think maybe
I love a character he pretended to be all this time and not the real him. What should I do? Please help!I am 24 years old and have been living with my boyfriend for 3 years. For the most part everything has been fine. There have been times throughout our relationship that I have noticed a lack of emotion coming from him. There are times where, if I am upset about something, he doesn’t act like he cares, but still says he loves me. We have made compromises to make each other happy throughout our relationship. He is now coming out to tell me he has known he is a sociopath but has been trying to make a normal relationship work and lead a normal life, but he is not happy. He suggested we take some space away from each other and start over so he can introduce the real him to me. He would want to be the dominate one in the relationship and in control of things so he can be happy, but I don’t know if that would make me happy. I feel a relationship should be 50/50. I am so stuck and confused because I love him so much but I am starting to think maybe
I love a character he pretended to be all this time and not the real him. What should I do? Please help!

This Disclaimer applies to the Answer Below
  • Dr. Schwartz responds to questions about psychotherapy and mental health problems, from the perspective of his training in clinical psychology.
  • Dr. Schwartz intends his responses to provide general educational information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
  • Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
  • No correspondence takes place.
  • No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by Dr. Schwartz to people submitting questions.
  • Dr. Schwartz, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. Dr. Schwartz and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
  • Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.
Answer:

You present a very interesting dilemma. Your boyfriend of three years tells you he is a "sociopath." However, how does he know he is? I am not saying that he is or is not. However, what is his self diagnosis based on? You are aware of a certain lack of emotion when you are upset about something. Yes, that could be a symptom of a sociopath, but, it could be symptomatic of other types of things as well.

It has always been my belief, both as a mental health specialist and as a private person, that people do best when they follow their intuition or instinct. What I mean is that there is, in my thinking, an inner voice that we each have. Some people are better than others in listening to and heading that inner voice. In fact, there are those, after listening to their own thoughts and judgments, ignore that and allow themselves to be guided by emotions or wishes. So, what am I saying about you?

What I am saying is that your "inner voice" is telling you that something is not right with this boyfriend. In fact, you noticed this before but ignored what you were telling yourself about his lack of emotion. Now it is time to listen to yourself and your doubts.

First, I agree with you that a relationship must be 50/50. What he is proposing is that he be in control? Why? Such a notion would make most of us unhappy. If he is telling you that he is a sociopath and that he wants to be in control wouldn’t that put you in danger? After all, sociopaths are not trustworthy people.

You even doubt the validity of the person you have known him to be up until now. In sum, it would make sense for you to pay attention to your doubts and to your beliefs and preferences about relationships, cut your losses now, end things and look elsewhere for the kind of guy who can be emotionally empathic, trustworthy and with whom you can share a life on a true 50/50 basis.

In other words, stop arguing with yourself. There is no confusion. Your instincts are correct. Move on.

Best of Luck

More "Ask Dr. Schwartz" View Columnists

Comments
  • Julian

    I understand exactly where your boyfriend is coming from, you have nothing to worry about. First, to confess to being a sociopath is one of the most intimate and dangerous things a person can do, it shows not only how much he trusts you, but how desperately he wants to be happy with you. Second, re-introducing himself into the relationship isn't going to work. The honest sociopath cannot exist in society, nor can he be loved. He is tied to the character you've come to know because instinctively, he understands that that character can actually be loved. So allow him to express his "true self" to you, ultimately, you can gauge how you feel about this other side of him, and in all likeliness, he will slowly default back to his conditioned, functional state when he learns the hard way that the character he has to show the world is a small compromise and his only means of finding companionship.

  • Anonymous-1

    Sociopaths dont change, they are basically status quo their whole lifes because of their lack of emotional character. If you've been fufilled by your relationship so far your probably looking at a good lifetime partner. Of course this is only providing that you continue to play the same role you have for the last three years, dont mind him cheating on you, and are willing to stay submissive. So far you have been fine with the arrangment. And look at the bright side, he wont be crushed if you leave him.

  • Anonymous-2

    Just remember that once you have children together it becomes so much more difficult to get out of an abusive relationship and ties are for a very long time - its painful...

  • Allan N. Schwartz, Phd

    You have explained precisely why it is important to end an abusive relationship. Abuse is harmful to you and to the children. Of course ending it is painful but, for the sake of the children and your own sake it is important to get away. There comes a time when it is too late and that is when you or one of the children land in the hospital or worse. Seek help now.Dr. Schwartz

  • Christina

    Girl he is crazy I had a sociopath boyfriend they are crazy get out now before you get really hurt!

  • victim

    I have an ex-friend who is a sociopath. It took me a long time to figure this out. It will probably take years for my relationships with others to recover from this ex-friends maniplations to destroy them, well, the ones that aren't destroyed already.

  • Sarah

    Im only 17 years old and have been with my 19 year old boyfriend for 2 years, yes very young to be getting involved into what i have.

    I need to talk to someone.... more so my boyfriend does.

    He was diagnosed with depression at 10 after his mother found a list of "ways to kill yourself" in his room. At first our relationship was good, as they are when there new. But now, its crumbling to the ground. He has all the symptoms of a socipath, controlling, abusive, lack of emotion and empathy, no remourse etc... I feel like im trapped, i hate the thought of telling myself hes a burden but he is. But i feel the need to help, but he seems so sure that no one can help him. I feel like im the only on in this relationship, he doesnt put in the effort.

    Ive tried everything possible to try and tell him what hes doing but it just doesnt seem to click.

    He's been in a very bad way for a while now, hes only cried a couple of times in his whole life and i happened to see that, his mum kicked him out of home, he was kicked out of school and everyrthing went down hill. He rang me up and something seemed so wrong so i ran to his house, when i got there he was just standing there and tearing were running down his face with a song called "hurt" by Nine Inch Nails playing on repeat, he sat down and i sat on his lap but as i looked down i noticed his arm was drenched in blood, he had carved "remember who you are"......

    Something i will never forget.

    Unlike most teenage relationships, childish, fun, not serious and dont last long. Ours is very different i feel like were 30 years old and weve been married forever, we fight constantly and its got to the point where im emotionally exhausted.

    All i know is im in the worst possible position i could be in at such a young age, my family life is bad and ive got my HSC to focus on soon, but i cant find it in my heart to let him go. I see the spark in his eye no one else sees. He cant be all black...... can he?.

  • Jimmy

    Listen, i don't understand this I am a self diagnosed sociopath, if he has infact told you that he is a sociopath then you should give it a shot, admitting that to someone in your life is as close to a real declaration of love as you can get, maybe you might be the one to genuinely help him, i've been with this girl for awhile now and i recently told her i am a sociopath, she has agreed to stay with me, i can honestly say she is the first human being that i have actually felt something for (i am 23), i can't characterize it as love because i don't really know what that feels like, but whatever it is allows me to make descicions that make her feel better, we do all like to win, but if the game we're playing is working in both of your benifit then what is the problem? i just changed the rules of my game its just that simple. I still lie to her, but when i lie i know that i am hurting her, and while its not that i care that i am hurting her, i have changed the rules to my game where hurting her is not the way to win and i will eventually admit to my lie. when she is feeling sad it is not that i feel sad for or with her, but i know the right words to make her feel better so i say them. i still manipulate her to get what i want, but i cut down on how much i do it, i still cheat but now i do it smarter, r u the woman that can accept him for who is? I'm not saying that he is anything like me, I wanted change for my own benefit, and since you cant learn too feel I changed the rules of my game.

  • Catnat

    I just realised today that a friend I've had for the last 7 years is a sociopath. Everything of the profile fits with this person .I know the word is strong but it's the right one.

    And here I was trying to understand and change him, wanting for him to "feel" things, wondering how he could be so distant and cold in situations, and then charming his way when he wanted sex, . I always had this nagging feeling that I could have been any woman , I wasn't special but that he would someday see the light..

    He has recently hooked up with another woman(about the tenth or 11th one in 7 years) he met her last thursday and is moving in with her monday.. my god He is 56 yrs old he won't change.. It took me long enough to urdersatnd cause he can be nice and charming, for so HE can have something, never to make others happy...

    SO, so sad.. but now at least I know

    thanks

  • Jillian

    I dated a sociopath for a year and I agree w/ the comments that have been written. Its hard, especially because I fell hard for him, but its like the others have already written, I fell for a character, for a person he wanted me to view me as b/c he had figured out what I would except. He knew I would never be w/ someone over 30 b/c I was 22, someone that had kids, etc, so he told me that he was 27, when he was 32, denied his son vehemently b/c he knew I would date someone w/ a kid...he created the ideal man he knew Id fall for.

    Yes you could accept him the way he is, always going to cheat on you, always going to lie to you, exploit you, but why would you. He has nothing to lose and you have everything to lose b/c he will never feel like you do.

    The experience I had, he was also a heavy drinker, and cocaine user. So his moods were extremely violent and the most hurtful thing was that he would do some pretty crazy things lk destroy his g/fs cars, steal from his own family, hit his g/f, beat his g/f in front of his own family at family parties, show up at places of employment and cause a scene, and I say g/f b/c he did these to the others before me, but not to me b/c i didnt give him long enough of a chance. Do you want that? Do you want to know that all you have to gain from this is hurt and loss while he does is win and never feel remoarse? i know you love him, I know your heart is breaking but it will get better. Let someone else be the victim because he will never change and it will cost you everything.

  • Alex

    From what I've learned from having a sociopath amigo, my best advice is to leave this thing behind you. Many of them are masters of deception, so much so that they can deceive themselves. They think they can overcome their lack of humanity by saying things like "whatever I do is not entirely selfish" and convincing themselves that they are helping you along with fulfilling their motivations, which usually include sex and dominance. Whatever happens in the relationship, they might eventually start blaming you. I am very sensitive to other people's emotions and it was hard to accept that they dont feel other people. Don't wonder whether things would have worked out whatever does work out is a lie.

  • Frances

    I have a brother who is a sociopath(the terms sounds much less harsh than psychopath). My family and I have seen the destruction he has caused in the past thirty years. My brother is now fifty years old and has lost his wife, family and friends. He has lived off of other people for those thirty years and now at fifty has no career or job possibilities. All he can do is look for the next victim. Having a healthy relationship with someone who is always looking to exploit is not possible. Sociopaths are NOT nice people. My brother refuses therapy, which is common, since nothing is wrong with him. It is always someone else's fault. Cut your loses and get out of the relationship. My brother has financially ruined his ex wife and is still doing things to get her back for leaving him. That is your future with this man. Check yourself for even considering staying with him.

    It is better to have loved and lost than live with a PSYCHO for the rest of your life.

  • MaryK

    My mother is a sociopath. She has ruined most of my life and I am 57 yrs.old. What I need to know is how to get away from her vindictive evilold blood thing. She has ruined my relationship with all my brothers and sisters.

  • kayla

    im 19 years old. today i was googling the word "charming people." i think its because i felt like ive lost a lot of my charm in the past year i was with my exboyfriend. i came upon a website talking about "sociopaths" I asked myself, "why is this showing up on a "charm" google search? "

    my point im trying to make is that while i searched this, i found my ex-boyfriend was a sociopath. He has no conscious, does not believe in the soul, abusive, charming at first...

    Now, it took me awhile to figure out these things, which is why im not with him anymore, but i didnt know there was a NAME for this. Sociopath.

    There must have been a reason for me searching this word "charm."

    It helps to know this. i dont know why, but it does. Please, if you havent broken free of this relationship, listen to these peoples' comments on here.

    if somebody has any advice for me, could you please email me?

  • frank

    It sounds to me like your boyfriend is trying to dump you but he doesnt know how or feels like you may not know how to let go or react or just doesnt want to be with you so he is saying that he feels he is crazy just to scare you away so that he doesnt feel guilty or you wont take it as bad when you guys seperate.

  • Tee

    I was involved with a sociopath for 3 years. I am in financial ruins and my morals were put in the toilet. I did everything for this man. Sexually, Emotionally, Financially AND NOTHING PLEASED HIM.

    He didnt want for ANYTHING! He lied cheated, wanted sexual fantasies that i fulfilled thinking that would make him shut-up and be happy - NOTHING WORKED.

    the only reason, i did finally leave, is he decided to get physical with me in front of my daughter and then spat in my face (after all i had done for him) - with no guilt or pain in his eyes.

    Its been 5 months, I kept my distance and i dont go ANYWHERE he maybe. I dont wont to get tricked up by this pathetic sick type of person ever again.

    now i am trying to figure out how i get out of this debt and recoup a motorcyle thats in my name back from this man - while never speaking to him or making contact. I am lost but free.

  • Julia

    I have been married to a sociopath named Tony for 8 months. I am currently 5 months pregnant (a boy). He is in the military, active duty Marine Corps. He has cheated on me in the past and I forgave him. Then I discovered that he cheated on me with men. Then he has been having many sexual relationships behind my back with other women. We have not engaged in sex in a long time because he contracted a STD from some woman he slept with. Since then, I have been so disengaged in the marriage. Now, I want to leave him, but he has put me in a position that I am unemployed, pregnant, and broke. He won't let me leave CA. I dont know what to do. I am due in May 2010, and he thinks he is going to be there. I have told him that he is crazy to think I would let him around the baby. We already have a 6 year old daughter, who surprisingly he loves greatly or I think he does. This man has no remorse for what he has done and he doesnt care about me or the kids. The USMC is aware of his behavior, but he is a masterpiece at telling his side. Everyone thinks I am crazy, but I am not. He will not talk to me and he dosent care about anything. What the hell is going on. I am so devastated and angry at him. Should I just let go????

  • Allan N. Schwartz, PhD

    Hi Julia,

    I will post a response tomorrow under "Reader Questions."

    Dr. Schwartz

  • Anonymous-3

    I just came out of a relationship with a real sociopath, from the time I met him he was setting me up for failure, it was all a game for him and he was having fun. All the things he wanted to do he made me do them. When I met him I had just started my business and I was in depts. But they were under control as I was always making minimum payments every month, he said no problem, he will help me with it therefore I should pay attention to my business. All were lies as he started to pick fights with me, call me names put me down and than force me to work under stressful conditions, before I knew I started to become confused and lost and was not able to focus at my work. He would say he will help with my depts, those were all lies as he started to use all his money instead to buy, motorbike, a sports car and useless things for me, which I did not want. Well before I knew, my depts. in Canada kept accumulating and I started to sink into depression. At that point I made contact with few people who knew him but did not have good impression of him, I told them my whole situation, I had nothing left, I lost my business in Canada and all the money I lost. On top I lost the court case against him, he succeeded in convincing the court that I could have actually given myself those bruises, even worst he sent people to get information about what was happening in my life and where I was staying and convinced them that I was what he is a sociopath.

    Before I met him I did not know what a sociopath is, he once called me jackal and Hyde, I was startled as it had never ever occurred to me to use those words, at the time I remember thinking to myself, he is describing himself, I was confused but did not make anything out of it. He put me on probation in the house asked me to stay at home, I started to get wild and angry, he was setting me up again to become mad, I became suicidal. From what I saw, when I tried to kill myself he actually started to hit me even more I was just desperate to die so that all this pain will go away. At that point he took that opportunity to declare me mad, what people don't know, these people drive you so mad that you will wish you were dead, in fact many times now I wish I was dead as it has left horrible memories for me. Some people say you should be glad that you are out of that relationship, but what they don't understand is that pain from that relationship is horrible, it feels like emotional death, as if someone has pulled a rug underneath your feet. Just writing about it is painful.

    All what I can say is run for your life, ASAP and avoid what is coming to you, the sooner you do it the better it will be for you, as he will not stick around longer he will find another person that is what happened in my case. Save yourself pain, have self respect and leave with dignity, other wise they will make sure you not only leave with out dignity, but also leave without cloths and have no roof on top of your head.

    All the best, hope you will make write decision for yourself, this one mistake will follow you for years to come.

  • Anonymous-4

    I am a sociopath, recently diagnosed, and in knowing this now my world is crumbling around me. What I saw the world as has been crushed by the real world. The idea of being a completely honest person, to even myself seems so far fetched and impossible. Every interaction I have with a person now I find myself questioning. Every person I have ever hurt in the past has come back to haunt me, now knowing that the blame I placed upon them for my actions was unjustified.

    I have two little girls, they are the only reason I cannot end this. I love them, but as what pointed out to me, they are blood, and it maybe another form of loving my pride.

    I can't even tell who I am anymore. When I strip away the parts of me that are likely comprised of sociopathic thoughts I am virtually left with nothing. The only choice that seemed safe to me was to withdraw from society, now I live as a recluse, trying to puzzle myself out. I don't understand how people think, it makes them easy to use, but I don't understand how to be that way.

    I have a prescription to Lithium and it doesn't help, all it does is stop me from thinking so much, and help me sleep. I have two brothers, both which I believe to be sociopaths as well. I don't expect any pity, 1000 websites are pretty clear how much sociopaths are hated. Ironic when you think about the fact that we want to be worshipped. I just wanted to explain that a sociopaths world can come crashing down around them pretty hard, and at least give a handful of you the satisfaction that at least some of these people, will destroy themselves from thier illness.

  • Anonymous-5

    You better get away from this guy... I used to know a sociopath. GET AWAY! Just look up the definition of a sociopath on google, that should be enough to scare you.

    Its all an act, nothing they do is genuine. You may think he wants something real because he told you of his problems. A sociopath would only tell you that if he thought he could gain something from doing so. Who knows what it is. Maybe he really was unhappy and he told you so you feel bad for him, that way he could gain the upper hand in the relationship. Thats just the way they think.

    GET AWAY ASAP

  • survivorlady

    I was married to a sociopath for 20 years.

    I did not know it, till he turned off the switch and left.

    Before he left we had had problems for about 8 months, he tore me apart because I did not know what had happened. I was a good wife, mother and worked full time. He knew exactly how to manipulate and control. I was well educated and had a good job, but these guys are smooth. I had children pretty well right away, and he knew that my weakness were my kids. I would do anything for them. Everything he did he would always use the excuse that the kids would like it etc etc.

    In a few months he destroyed our marriage, he had another women ready, because he knew that I had caught on that he had no money and I thought he was saving for his retirement. He planned everything out, when I confronted him, the mask dropped. He was no longer the same man. Jeklly and Hyde.

    To summarize, he has been gone for 1 year, my divorce is hellish because he wants assests that did not even belong to him, they belonged to me prior to marriage. And he has not seen his kids for over 1 year, not even a phone call. His new women has 4 kids and he is totally devoted to her. She was seeing him while we were still married. He is not in that relationship for a long time, just using her because he needs her financial support, becasue she gets suppliments and child support for 4 kids. He just dropped his kids and shifted to hers.

    My kids are dealing with the fact that their Dad abbandoned them. Before he left he turned violent on me and really hurt me. My kids saw it and call the police. They will never forget the fact that their Dad did this, becuase they are teenagers, 17 and 14, they are not lightly to forget, along with the fact they for several months they saw him mentally abuse me. He was cruel and with pity. He was trying to get me crazy so he could have the kids...he told them that he refused to pay child support to me. As soon as they heard this, they knew what he was up to. So they both had not use for their Dad. My kids are stronger for it, and I thank the Lord every day that I am able to bring them up without his intervention. I am trying to do the best I can, and they are great kids, all three of us work well together. We are a stronger family without him.

    So basically my situation has turned into one of luck. Although financially it might not be so good, emotionally we will be fine.

    I made him walk on his own accord, because sometimes if you throw them out they come back to stalk you. So I made him think it was his ideal. I knew that if I persisted in wanting councilling and for him to go for help, he would eventually burst at the seams and he did. The trick is to make them think that it was their idea. I loved him, and I still do but it was an illusion, and I try to tell myself that my husband actually died. Its easier for me than to think that he did not exist. He was an illusion. My kids know he is sick, and he will never get better. They were both discarded and thrown away in the garbage. They will never forget. My ex is now on the smear campaign, he is telling everyone I poisned the kids mind. I cannot do anything about it.....however I am sure the truth will come out in the end. I forgot to mention that he was previously married, and he had discarded his previous children, 4 of them. But he has reconcillied with them, telling them that it was I who made him stay away from them. They have fallen for it, for how long I do not know. They are con men, there whole life is based on lies and running, they really should have a law againsist them, the damage they do is beyond words.

    In conclusion my only words of wisdon is "run", and do not look back. Its been over and year for me and its getting better. I hope my story will help some people out there. Take care all.

  • Mr. Psycho

    I am a diagnosed psychopath. Yes it is true that anything we do stems from a desire to fulfill our own needs. But what those needs are can change from person to person. For example, a woman, who has a desire to be loved and cared for, will do anything to get it, even if it means marrying or dating a sociopath, LOL. So, my point is, ALL humans are selfish, all of us including young kids and babies use manipulation to get what we want. The only thing different is our view of life, or atleast in my case. I like to think I have a more realistic view of the world, instead of basing a relationships success on romance and 'love', I base it on compatibility and if each of us have what each other need and like. The world needs people like us, we are able to make decisions with a unemotional attachment to stupid things. We are able to identify the people who are worth something.

    They say there is no cure, but I don't know if that's true. None of us are perfect and we ALL have faults. We all hurt others. From personal experience God is has kept me on the straight path. I have never cheated on my wife, I love my kids and my parents. I hold down a job. My wife knows of my issue and loves me even more, she sees the areas that it makes me more unique. I serve God because I know it will ultimately be good for me. Even if some of you think there is no heaven, paradise etc, having strong ethics and a moral code has way more perks that ending up in jail. Yes I know there are some sociopaths that REALLY suck, I've known a few myself, but there Empaths that REALLY suck too, they just have different reasons. We all need God, don't generalize his creation, it's not nice....

  • Sarah

    Almost a week ago my ex and I broke off our 1 1/2 year relationship because he moved on to another girl. I didnt think he was a sociopath but when i looked up the charaters of one I couldnt believe it! When we met he was like prince charming, he seem so protective like if i was geniune, and it looked liked he had his life together. Things were okay for a while but then he cheated on me. I forgave him of course but then he did it again he kept talking to others while i was pregnant and everytime i found out he would tell me whatever i wanted to hear. I was angry when he kept doing it again and again. I was so angry because it felt like he didnt care. He tried to cover him self up by going to all my doctors appointment and buying things. He had 5 jobs since we together and he used his parents money even when his mom told him no he would though a fit i couldn't believe how bad he treated her he knew she would give in like always. After the baby was born in the hospital he didn't bother to help when i needed it because i just had a c-section. I had to get up and do almost everything by myself it was painful! Fastward about 2 weeks ago. I took a break from him because i couldnt handle the fights and the emotional abuse. When i came back home to his parents house he told me that we werent together i couldn't believe it i didnt have no where to go and he knew that. He put me through so much last week before i left. He called girls when i was there he made me feel trapped. I got a phone so i can call my friends and when he saw it he got really mad and broke it he also took the house phone from me when i wanted to call the cops or my mom. He would tell his mom that our fights and yelling was my fault and im going crazy. I cried so much i hated the pain i was going through, i was depressed and wanted to kill myself. What made me more crazy is the thought that why could't i make him see things through my eyes? Why cant he see what hes doing to me? I'm still dealing with him now because of our daughter but i moved on. The girl hes dating has a car, is going to college and has money hes only using her to get what he wants sooner or later she'll see the real person he is.

    If you have any questions i'll be glad to hear them!

  • Allan N. Schwartz, PhD

    Hi Sarah,

    I have no way of knowing if your ex boyfriend is a sociopath or not. However, he certainly fits the description of someone who is abusive, thoughtless and immature. I agree that it is best that you broke up with him. Yes, you will always have a link to him because of the baby. On the other hand, enjoy, love and nurture your baby. I am sure you will. Next time, look for a more reliable man.

    Dr. Schwartz

  • Alyssa

    Ive been with my husband for quite sometime now. And he has 4 different people. Atu, Dia, Tsu, and Sha. Im only doing the the first 3 letters of each name or ill get in trouble. My boyfriend is also spiritualy attacked constantly. I know how you feel because Ive experienced more...maybe. Sarah, Im sorry you are having a rough time... I uderstand that you feel like you are in love with the wrong side of him, I know I fell inlove with the right one, but this is about you, I'm not so very sure what you think you should do but, if you really love this guy then let him be in control. Do what he wants and do what will make him happy. That's what I do. No matter how much it might hurt my feelings and make me cry secretly later...I still do what needs to be done to make him hapy. Sarah, sometimes you need to make a risk.. I hope you the best. But right now I'm dealing with one of the worst of my husbands personalities. But I'm glad I could take some time from my schedule and give you somewhat good advise. Goodluck!

  • Daniel

    Guys get insecure and carry on like idiots because you ladies confuse the hell out of us!!! Give the guy a break he's trying to get a spark back. So many people jump to the "he's insane" option and I believe ALL of the comments are from women.

    I'm sorry I even looked up sociopathy, all that's going to happen is that when your trying to work LIFE out, and love which NOONE can define for everyone, you think you have some disease!! GRRRRR so annoyed at excuses.

  • Victim of a Sociopath

    I have read through many of the posts on sociopaths. First of all, I would like to share with everyone who is with a diagnosed sociopath that these people DO NOT FEEL ANYTHING!! Life is a big game to them! We are their pawns. Sociopaths have NO concience, as opposed to normal people, who do. They can do anything to get what they want and have no remorse about it!

    To all of the girls who are with sociopaths, get away from them, even if you do love the guy! It is not safe, trust me. Do not trust them with any of your personal business because they will use it against you. Not only that, but they will lie about you to get what they want!

    When these sociopaths are telling you that they "want a real relationship", they are lying, trying to get your pity because THEY CAN'T LOVE!! There is a problem with their brains and their genetics! Trust me on this one you can look it up!

    I am going through hell right now trying to get rid of an ex boyfriend of mine that I dumped because I realized he was a PSYCHOPATH!!!!! He was very charming and protective at first, but I started catching all of his lies and manipulative ways, and when I called him out on it he did very bad, abusive things to me. When I finally left him, he lied to the cops about me and got me arrested, lied to my job and almost got me fired, hacked into my email, facebook, and online class accounts and started all types of trouble with friends, coworkers, and peers....and after all of this, he claims that he is SO LONELY AND IN LOVE WITH ME AND MISSES ME!!!

    Don't let it get this far ladies...AND gentlemen because there ARE also WOMEN who are sociopaths!!!

    Sociopaths are no joke, and not to be taken lightly!

    And as for all of the people who posted on here who claimed to be sociopaths, if you read their posts closely, you will see that they play with words to seem charming, but reading deeper you see that they try to play on your emotions and get your pity! When you pity these types of people, you open yourself up and make yourself vulnerable for them to LEECH OFF OF YOU!!!!!!

  • Cathy Sargent

    My favorite definition of a sociopath is n "a person who knows the difference between right and wrong,continues to do wrong and has erroneous excuses for their actions" . Beyond the mask of a sociopath is an eight year old child. Also, so many sociopaths who fit this definition have inferior feeling functions and like Hitler will cry when their parakeet dies. I believe sociopathy is sometimes caused by parents who are drinking when the child is conceived. The brain is effected by the alcohol. Also according to James Hillman sociopaths can just be born and there is no cause. Scary thought.

  • DQ

    Your answer was simply brilliant!

Close

Call the Helpline Toll-FREE

To Get Treatment Options Now.

1-888-993-3112 100% Confidential

Get Help For You or a Loved One Here...

Click Here for More Info.

Close

Call The Toll-FREE Helpline 24/7 To Get Treatment Options Now.

100% Confidential
Get Treatment Options From Your Phone... Tap to Expand