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Cross-Dressing Boyfriend

Question:

I’m a 21 year old female and I’ve been with a wonderful guy for over six months. The problem is, I recently discovered that he enjoys wearing panties and needless to say I was quite shocked about this. He swears to me that he is only interested in women, that he loves me dearly and had wanted to tell me about his panty fetish for a long time but had never worked up the nerve. What I want to know is… is this normal. Do a lot of guys enjoy wearing panties or is he weird. I don’t know why but for some reason the idea of him in sexy women’s panties turns me on. Please help me figure out what to do because I really like this guy

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Answer:

This one made me smile! I checked with Dr. Dombeck on this one to be sure about what I’ll say here. Your boyfriend probably has what is known as a transvestic fetish (e.g., he’s turned on by wearing women’s clothing). This is not an everyday sort of thing but it isn’t uncommon either. Many men in the world share your boyfriend’s leanings. I heard a story on the radio recently about a British shoe factory that had been in financial trouble that started making women’s shoes in men’s sizes and was suddenly making money again. This could only happen if there were many men who wanted to dress in women’s clothes. It would seem that there is more to the world than meets the eye. Transvestic men are generally heterosexual in orientation (they like women) but for whatever reason they like to wear women’s clothes. They are to the best of my knowledge not any more dangerous or weird than any other sort of person you might meet. There are, to be sure, men who wear women’s clothes because inside they believe they are women, but this wouldn’t seem to apply to your boyfriend. Assuming your boyfriend treats you respectfully and well and that you can accept that he likes to wear women’s’ underwear (as it seems you will as you get comfortable with the information) then I can’t think of any reason you should second-guess your affection for him. I’d be much more concerned that he treats you well than that he likes to wear panties.

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Comments
  • Anonymous-1

    This is THE most trite and oversimplified response I have ever seen and fails to deal or cover the question of what is really going on deep down the the personality of your boyfriend, what causes this desire, can it be traced to an event in babyhood or childhood. These things need to be explored NOW. The fettish could grow and turn this at the moment respectful person into a person who leads a double life and into a person who you no longer no! It should be explored by a professional and you need to seriously consider the question is this man just an unpleasant self indulgent person, is he mentally ill, or does he have a personality disorder. Once you have got to the bottom of these you can then be free to decide if you should stay or leave

  • Anonymous-2

    Hi there I think that a lot of fuss is made about men wearing panties,I for one have worn panties all my life and it has not made me into some pervert or anything else for that matter.I told my now wife that I prefered panties to tighty whities simply for the comfort and choice of fabrics and colours as well as having a choice of styles and she was a little suprised to start with but she could understand where I was comming from and has never worried about it since and that was twenty seven years ago so I say just understand that a man also likes to have choice and after all it is only underwear.We panty wearers are norman red blooded hetrosexual men.Love your boyfriend for who he is not what you want him to be.

  • whatever

    Contright...

    Crossdressing issuse are more about the Opposite sex acceptance, then.. the cross dresser's need.

    Though they do love being told what to do.

    I am totally a female without any desire for a man to define me..in fact, I resent men to try to tell me how to be.

  • Kurt

    Trite and Contrite,

    This is exactly why we guys who love to wear panties keep it a secret. The minute we show some deviation from what the established norm of maleness we are given the 3rd degree and everything in our lives is suspect. The question above is trying to see how to proceed with a caring, sensitive boyfriend who likes a little softness in his life. The answer is basic, the need is universal in about 10% of all men. Some guys just like panties and women's clothing. If it was simply accepted, it would grow into a big deal. Forbidden fruit is coveted due to denial, not the taste.

    I am a former Marine, Veteran of Desert Storm, father of four (3 boys), civic leader, loyal husband of 21 years and devoted Christian. People would consider me a good provider for my family and one who contributes actively to our community. I have worn panties everyday since I left the service (with honors) and wear silky nightgowns or pajamas every night. We are at a point in our marriage where my wife would freak if I came to bed in boxers and a t-shirt. I have always been attracted to women's clothing and always will. Can't help it, don't care anymore. It is one private facet in my life. My wife supports me and I support her. Our marriage is very close and our children very loved.

    Quite simply:
    Women's Lingerie = fun, sensual, flirty
    Men's Underwear = practical and boring

    BTW--I do wear men's underwear when I am doing hard physical labor.

    When I go to Church, I see Jesus depicted wearing a garment that looks suspiciously like a dress. It's just a long cover and a skirt. You say that doesn't count, those were different times and men's fashion hadn't evolved (evolved to the point where we are all dressed as soldiers and workers). One hundred years ago, women in pants and a t-shit would have been scandalous.

    Critical Girls, I will give up my panties and nighties, when you are ready to stop wearing pants, t-shirts, sweats and only wear dresses and skirts. Is that a deal?

    In the meantime, for those of you who are dating a guy who likes lingerie, a little understanding and occasional gifts will pay off big time in terms of consideration, affection and companionship. Crossdressing men love women, are entranced by women, want to be very close to women. After a little while, the sexual stimulus burns off but the desire remains as it is very comforting. The appreciation you will yield from your partners (if they are balanced in other ways) will pay off in huge dividends.

  • crossdressing man with gf

    okay i have been crossdressing for 20 years i started when i was 6 this isnt a gender problem its sumthing that you r born with its hardwired in brain like the pref of what kinda girl u like and what your fav color is the tast of food u like its sumthing that cant be controlled i have came up with every excuse y i do it and at one point i thought it was cause i weanted to be a girl deep inside but it isnt at all i love being a man but when i put on girls cloths it releases sumthing in me that makes me happy and turned on with out being a weirdo or dangerous to people sum like to do it in public me im much more happy doing it by my self with my girl. i giess its a way to show femie side on a man rather then acting like a herb and depressed and crying or being mean or what eva so really if u wanna know the truth kit did help me find me i had alote of questions about myself growing up but know im good with who i am and it has nothing to do with wanting to be a girl it has to do with feeling good and sumtimes looking good its a feeling that is super awsum. do i believe dudes look good in girls cloths fuck no but if i feel good in the cloths i wear then thats all that matters and thats all thatr should matter the split personality thing wrong unless ppl really make it hard for the person to do it alone or infront of ppl its an exceptance thing and we r ppl to we just have a way about us that makes us dif so please any questions at all about it i have been doing it for awail and read many books and did alote of research for my self to see what was going on and y i was doing it and why it started at such a young age and i found all the answers plus my e male is athree50seven@live.comany questions im glade to answer them judgement free

  • dee-dee

    i respect you guys! i just wanna make love to my man sometimes, ifeel like it's all about him dressing up & not about us there's got to be more than just one side all of the time .

  • declan

    it is fine if a boy wants to dress up i do it and its only because u wana feel sexy like a woman is in panites i wish i had some one like u to understand with what we do wirte back please .

  • Rob

    Dear "trite" , I am also a crossdresser, and been married for 20 years. I told my wife before I proposed and we have been happy ever since. In reponse to the other reader I do not have mental illness, a personalty disorder or other problems. Oh dear, Wait, I may not be "normal" man!!!!! I am emotionally avialable, balanced, artistic, creative, able to be both soft and hard when needed, love role play in the bedroom, make my wife feel like a queen. For me crossdressing seems to be a balacing thing, after replacing a clutch on my truck what could be better than a a soapy bath. a babydoll nighty and a snuggle with my wife?

  • Anonymous-3

    How many husbands would want to stand around while you shop for clothing. my guess he would be happy too. Also add some shoping for him. I sure he could use your addvice. Shairing time together is so wonderful and sometime gets taken away too soon.

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