Question:
I am a 23 year old man who has never had sex with a woman, but the breast ‘thing’ started a few months ago and hasn’t stopped. Now all women I work with (from old and fat to young and thin) think I am looking at their breasts and, to be honest, I am. It’s not sexual in any way. I just notice and my eyes drift, normally when I am bored with the conversation. I’ve tried focusing on everything I can, eyes, hair, eyebrows, etc, but nothing works. I think its becoming an obsession.
Please help me.
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Answer:
It is natural that men and women find one another attractive and look. Of course, there is a difference between looking and leering. When someone leers they are being provocative. To leer has a very negative connotation. No one likes to be leered at but most people like to be looked at. Most people look without leering. It is normal for a young man to look down at breasts while talking to or walking past a woman.
Having said that, it does seem as though not having sex at age 23 is bothering you. It is surprising in this day when people are having sex at young ages. I am suggesting that, if you have sex, all of this will fall into place and no longer bother you. My guess is that, at the moment, you are feeling self conscious and shy around women because they remain a mystery to you. In other words, you need a romantic partner.
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I urge you to ask available young women out on a date so that you can get to know them or, at least, one of them. People, by nature, flirt with one another. I am sure there are young women who look at you just as much as you look at them and one of them may be waiting for you to ask her out on a date.
Remember, it’s nor simply having sex but getting to know another person with the purpose of forming a permanent relationship.
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