Question:
I am in intense depression..I met this guy two years before. He s a divorcee but now he finds fault with me in each and everything I do and he is now telling me his old wife is better than me. I am very upset and we have been living together for the past 1 year. I couldn’t control my sadness as I was with him in every sad moments of his life and now he doesn’t want me.
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Answer:
It is not surprising that you are upset after having to listen to the cruel and nasty things this boyfriend is saying to you. It might help you to realize that there must be a reason why he is divorced. Of course, there is no waying of knowing why he is divorced except that behavior is consistent and, therefore, a good likelihood that he may have mistreated his ex wife just as he does you.
You are describing yourself as feeling depressed as a result of this relationship. There is a theory that depression is anger turned against one’s self. In other words, you may be directing your anger at yourself rather than at this boyfriend. What you need to do to stop this from happening is to understand that you do not deserve his bad treatment of you. After all, all relationships are difficult and all of us say and do things that annoy our loved ones. In an honest and respectful relationship, all of us learn to be tolerant of one another’s foibles and forgive most of this stuff because it’s unimportant. To say it more simply, do not allow this man to upset you. He has no right.
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Basically, he is emotionally and verbally abusing you. Now it’s time to think about not wanting him rather than his not wanting you. Why would you want an abusive and unkind man? Common sense should tell you that he does not deserve you and that you should end this relationship. Another way of saying this is to take control of the situation by putting limits on what behavior you will tolerate.
He is an abusive man. End the relationship which, in my opinion, is the best thing for you to do.
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If he is the one who ditched you then count yourself lucky. Just think of it: you are free of this misery. Enjoy your freedom and look for someone who you can love, who can love you and with whom you can enjoy a mutually respectful life.
If you need help with this then find a good therapist who can help you get through this and feel a lot better.
Do not allow him to damage your emotional and physical health. Help is available.
Best of Luck
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