Question:
I am 42 years young and have a 21 year old daughter and a 20 year old son. Last year my daughter had a baby, He is the most darling little boy. Anyway a few months ago my daughter moved out to live with her boyfriend. A different boyfriend than the father of her baby. About a week ago she broke up with him and moved back home. I figured this would be fine because I would have my grandson around all the time. The other night she came home and wanted her boyfriend to stay the night because he was all drugged up and she was afraid that he would go to jail. We got into a major fight. I just totally lost control, we both said some things that were terribly hurtful. I got very upset because she told me she was going to take the baby away from me. Since then I have not been able to control my anger. Every time I see her and her boyfriend I just want to blow up. I don’t understand this anger I am feeling. I have been on Zoloft for about two years now and recently my doctor has prescribed Nortriptyline for me to help me sleep better at night. I take Dilantin for seizures also. I take all of these medications at night before I go to bed. I am wondering if the combination of all the drugs has something to do with the way I feel. I love my daughter, but now she’s going to think that I don’t because of the way I have been acting. I feel as if I’m going crazy. What can I do?
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Answer:
Tell your daughter that you love her. Often in tense situations people don’t realize or mean what they are saying, and we forget our true feelings about a person. Your daughter, may have said it in the heat of the moment only because she knew it would hurt you. Likewise you should apologize for harmful things that you said to her. This does not mean that you still cannot be in disagreement. Try talking about the important issues with her calmly and let her know why you feel this way. Effective communication will help alleviate some of the stress. On the other hand though your daughter may move out with her child, if not now eventually she will, and as sad as this situation will be you need to accept that your daughter is another person and has the right to make decisions about her life. If this happens same close to her emotionally and do not retaliate by pushing her away. This will only further separate you two. As far as medications go, I am not a medical doctor, but you could ask Dr. Tommy Arnn who would be happy to help you with medications. Your personal physician will be most helpful for you, because he or she will know your history of interactions with the drug. Best of luck, – Anne
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